I Kissed Dating Goodbye

The title itself is a turn-off. I wouldn't have picked up this book had I seen it in a book store at a different period in my life. But times have changed. My only regret is that I should've read this sooner than later.

So I kissed dating goodbye. The title is as radical as its contents. While getting my nails done (and I wasn't in the mood to have small talk about Karylle and Marian with the manicurist), I contemplated yet again about my life (note to self: avoid idleness at all costs. bring a book next time). What was I doing?! (Slap on the forehead) The world has its own definition of love -- that passion-filled, sweep-you-off-your-feet, butterflies in your tummy, "haven't felt this way before", "can't stop thinking about you", "can't stop thinking about your smile" kind of feeling. Intense (and beautiful) while it's there, but gone at the blink of an eye. I've seen the "beauty" of this kind of love. But I've also had my fair share of worldly-love inflicted pain. I'm sick and tired of this kind of perspective. Every break-up, whether from a one-week fling or from a serious four-year one, is painful. I don't want it anymore.

Love, in God's definition, is Jesus hanging on the cross. (No, I didn't kiss dating goodbye to become a nun. FYI.) Love is a decision, and not a feeling. It's a decision you stick to no matter the cost. And until I'm ready for that kind of life-long commitment (in other words: marriage... which I'm certainly not ready for right now), I'm lying low from the dating scene. O good Lord, help me. HAHA!

I'm not about to start a debate whether you should quit dating as well. I'm not good at debates (just a good speaker. haha!). DISCLAIMER: I'm not against dating nor people who date. This is just a personal conviction that I'm praying I'll be able to follow through. If you're tired of pointless relationships, if you're in it just for fun, if you're merely looking for someone better and not "the one", grab a copy of the book. Or you can rent mine for a minimal cost :D

You're a WART!

You think it's over and done with... but somehow, the knowledge that certain stuff should've happened but never will upsets your whole system. It's kind of like an irritating wart that you try to ignore, but you know it's there and you can feel it. A bump on your otherwise smooth skin.

Don't get me wrong. I'm still enjoying the long break (while it lasts). Christmas was a blast and the parties and dinners and coffee moments are wonderful memories. It's just that... it's hard to explain. I can't say that I'm not affected anymore because I obviously still am. But then again, the whole thing's just like a wart! You won't die because of it, but the fact that IT's there (or here to be technically correct) is... irritating.

I've read somewhere that when a woman is stressed, she either shops or prays. Stressful times like these require His superpowers already, since my credit card is once again nearing its full potential. Let's blame it on the Mango sale.

Senitmental

As the year ends, and my notepad is filled halfway, I am awed by how God has filled my life with people who have shaped my character very well. (Spare me for the sentimental mood, it's Christmas and Christmas does crazy things to people. At least being sentimental makes me happy and not sad :P) Some friends have been there only during the ups, and some have left me for good, but for the points of contact with them in my existence, I am still grateful. When the Lord takes away, he gives back a hundredfold. In my case, he gave back a thousandfold.

Although the new chapter in my life has begun a few months earlier, what better way to celebrate it this Christmas and New Year with people who matter. And I've been celebrating like there's no tomorrow :D A few relationships might have been severed in the past year... but man, I'm having a blast knowing that I have such great friends now.

It's the season to celebrate friendships... and the season to heal relationships. Bottoms up to all my lifesavers (in so many ways :D)!!!

Battle of the pounds

One good measure of how I'm doing is my weight. I'm gaining back the pounds. OHHHH NOOOOESSSS!!!! Now that I'm doing very well, I'm enjoying food again. HAHAHA! And trying to cut back on eating and drinking during this season is terribly hard. All the parties and gimmicks and nights out and coffee sessions equal more calories.

I definitely don't want the depression again, but I want the weight that comes with it. So I'll have to figure out a way how to not eat and stay full and happy =))

P.S. (Not related to blog title)
I probably might be on hiatus as well from the writing. My social calendar is extremely jam-packed with shopping and meet-ups and parties that I barely have time to sleep. Good for me, right? :D I got what I prayed for.. a very very busy December :D

Have a blessed Christmas everyone! And while I'm at it already, I'll use this opportunity to remind you that amidst the merriness and busy-ness of the season, let's not forget that the real reason for Christmas is... Someone DECIDED to love us. :D

True Love

I just wanted to share with everyone a text lifted from a book I'm currently reading. When I'm done with the whole book, I promise to write about it. I'm not even halfway, but my views and thoughts on love and relationships have radically changed already. How I wish I read this way before. I could've spared myself from all the hurt and disappointments. But then again, God has His own purposes and plans. He makes all things beautiful, in His time... and I'm on my way to being Ms. Universe :D

"...love is under our control. He chose to love us. He chose to lay down His life for us. The danger of believing that you "fall in love" is that it also means you can "fall out of love" just as unexpectedly. Aren't you glad God's love for us isn't as unpredictable? Aren't you thankful that God's love is under His control and not based on whim? We need to throw out the misconception that love is some strange "force" that tosses us around against our will like leaves in the wind. We cannot justify doing what is wrong by saying that love grabbed hold of us and "made" us behave irresponsibly. That's not love. Instead, it's what the Bible calls in 1 Thessalonians 4:5 "passionate lust". We express true love in obedience to God and service to others -- not reckless or selfish behavior -- and we choose these behaviors." --Joshua Harris

Amen.

Christmas Registry

I was preparing my list of gifts to give to friends (I will be on a shopping spree tomorrow. holiday! yey!) when I thought it would be so much easier if I knew what people wanted in the first place. So this year, I am assuming my friends and relatives are having a hard time thinking of what to get me as well.

Thus, I will be saving you, my friends, from the burden of thinking of what to get me for Christmas. Let's make each others' lives easier. HAHA!

1. Body Shop Brilliance Powder (bronze) Every time I hit the malls and see the store, I try the tester but never actually buy it. Too expensive for me. Haha! But of course, it's the season of giving and I'm very much willing to receive this anytime.

2. Body Shop Shimmer Waves Same as explanation above. :D

3. Face Shop Baked Eyeshadow I already have the silver/black shade and it works wonders. You can try it for yourself too. The Face Shop is actually a cheaper alternative to Body Shop. But I usually just pass by their store in High Street because once I go in, I know I can't leave empty-handed. Not good for my saving attempts. :D4. Magic Wallet Everybody seems to have gotten this as a present, but nobody ever got one for me. Haha! I have a fetish for huuuge wallets where you can store anything and everything, but of course it isn't practical when going on a night-out with the girls and all I'm willing to carry is that cute clutch where my phone won't even fit :P

5. GC to ANY bookstore I am a voracious reader. So I won't mind if you're giving me gift certificates to NB, Fully Booked, or A Different Bookstore. Tip: books are cheaper at NB (National Bookstore) but it doesn't usually carry the rare and hard-to-find books that are sold in Fully Booked and A Different Bookstore. But still, GCs from any bookstore will still be GREATLY appreciated. :D

6. BOOKS!!! If you're not the type who gives GCs, then a book will do :D I'm into vampires (HAHAHA!), self-help, Christian living, inspirational, and fiction that uplifts the soul. NO sci-fi, mystery, thriller, or horror please :P

7. Reading light I saw an inexpensive one at Fully Booked, Rockwell (hint hint). I usually read before I sleep and when the lights are out (I share a room with my sister, it's more fun [and cheaper] that way :P), I use my phone's flashlight for reading :P Kawawa naman. HAHA!

8. Notepad Not only am I a voracious reader, but I'm a writer as well. :D I have a small notepad that I bring with me EVERYWHERE (even on night-outs with the girls :P) so whenever a random thought pops up, I can write it down immediately. FYI: Most of the entries here are written first in my notepad. Although, not all of the entries in the notepad are uploaded here. Too personal :D

9. Travelling stuff I travel for work (rarely for leisure :P) and Make Room has all these thingys and gadgets that are useful for "travellers". I never bought one for myself, though, since I thought someone is bound to give those as Christmas/birthday gifts. HAHAHA :D

10. IPHONE A girl can dream :D
11. ANY Katinas album (except Lifestyle: A Worship Experience) Praise music has never sounded soooo great :D Rock and Soul :D If you're going to get me one, I suggest you burn yourself a copy, too :D

If you're not getting me any of these, that doesn't make you less of a friend. Just treat me to dinner or coffee, sagot ko ang kwento. If you're on a budget, then don't treat me, KKB na lang :D But, I'm treating you to bear hugs if you are getting me presents :D HAHAHA!

In one of the talks Bo Sanchez gave during the Kerygma Conference, he said to never be afraid to ask. Of course, in the context in which he gave his talk, he was referring to asking for blessings from the Lord... that you should never settle for what is NOT best for you and to always ask as if you're expecting to get. But, I think that applies to human relationships as well :D People will never know what you want nor what you expect from them if you do not verbalize it. Ask and you shall receive, right? :D

Taboo

This one's a delicate topic, and I'm thankful that Bo (we're tight :P) wrote a piece on it. I have nothing else to add so click away

This is a bold move I'm going to make, but I'm making it anyway.

Let's set the bar high. I am committing to the yoke of purity. Period. No erase.

Somethings don't change

HAHAHA!

WARNING: If you're not a fan of Twilight and haven't read the books, you won't know what I'm talking about. Sorry. Just read my other blogs to pass time. :P

When I finally had a day off from my busy sched, I watched Twilight on a weekday afternoon. We had the cinema all to ourselves. So while drinking Avocado yogurt shake, I indulged in all of Edward's beauty and hotness. Eeeeeeeek!!!! In between sneezes and coughs, I managed to insert squeals and gasps and other sound effects I'm capable of making. Then I watched Twilight at home for the 2nd time the other night. Then probably later this afternoon, too. Sigh. :D It's not everyday that fictional characters have this effect on me. Twilight is an exception. The Cullens are just so... gorgeous (for lack of a better description). I don't mind being sick all the time if espasol Dr. Carlisle will be my doctor. I'd be in the ER all the time (charging the expenses to my health card, of course). My complaint? Hyperventilation. HAHAHA! And Emmet!!!! I looooove Emmet! Those biceps and abs... daaannnng!!! :D Five stars for Twilight (this is from a biased fan)!!!

Although the movie got mixed reviews from my friends, I think it's still soooo cool to see my imagination come alive on the big screen. Their version of sparkling Edward was way better than what I had in mind. The soundtrack is amazing, the whole baseball scene was exactly what I expected (and more, actually), and they couldn't have picked a better Edward and Bella. Every time Edward smiles that smile, my heart just contracts with excitement. Does the heart contract? I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about, girls. Wayfarers will never look great on anyone else but Edward. Swooning now. :x If I could have a boyfriend who could growl at maniacs, drive a Volvo like that, climb trees, carry me on his back while running to the nearest mall, be fascinated to watch me sleep, and most of all treat me like I'm THE only woman in his life (and not just one of the options he has to choose from), then my life would be too perfect. Fictional characters are just way better than real people, don't you think? But therein lies the problem. They're fictional. Created by a woman. HAHA!

Change is GREAT!!!

Change #1
For people who know me, they know that I'm not productive in the morning. DEFINITELY not a morning person (thank God for flexi time). During the past weekends, however, I've been waking up even before the sun rises to prepare for the day's events. A few months ago, weekends would mean sleeping in until manang wakes me up for a late lunch. Now, I realize the day is even better when you've spent more waking hours in it.

Change #2
I've spent the last few years enjoying all the happiness and pleasures the world has to offer. After the LSE and K-Con, I realize that happiness in the Spirit is sooooo sooooooooo much better!!! I thought I wouldn't be able to give up a certain addiction... but miraculously, I'm not even feeling any urge or desire for it now. Wooooohooooo!!!! I know I still have a long way to go, but God's grace has never failed me so I have no worries for the days ahead :D I know now that nothing compares to the highness in the Spirit :D

Change #3
My passion to write has intensified even more!!! I used to write when I was younger, but that doesn't compare to how I write and what I write about now. It's like a dam of thoughts and emotions has been opened up and the words just flow from the heart to the pen. :D I realize I have a passion after all (I used to think my passion was shopping. It still is, but writing is so much cheaper. Goodness... you should see my credit card bills. I'm feeling the aftershock of the depression. ANYWAY...). I love to write what I think (I love it more than writing Java/JS code). I've finally found my passion :)

Change #4
A few months ago, being sad would mean infinite mood swings, a raised eyebrow, eyebags, and a sour face. Someone I knew used to say to me that happiness is a choice, and I can always control my emotions. I heard what he said, but I realize now that somehow, a part of me didn't believe him. Now, I've proven that happiness is really a matter of choice. You decide to be happy [not despite of or in spite of but] with your problems. Whatever circumstances you're in, you can choose to be happy. Even the heavens decided to be happy for me :D I love you, Papa. Thanks :D Anyway, I've noticed that when you have a happy heart (meaning you're truly happy and not just putting on a show), it will absolutely reflect in your disposition. Ang ganda ko ngayon! Hahahaha :D

These are just some of the changes I've noticed in myself these past few months. I can't list them all down since nobody wants to read a long blog (and this is long enough already). Hehe! I have a disclaimer, though. I write these not to show off what a great person I am (but I really am... haha!), but to be a living example that we can rise from whatever pit we are in. I want to be an inspiration for others that the best is always yet to come and God never fails you :) Heaven and earth will fade, but His words will remain. He can make something BEAUTIFUL out of your life (I'm ready to sing now... hahaha!) :D When you start living by faith, you don't receive a drizzle of blessings. You get a heavy downpour. :D

Superblessed!!!

Week after week after week, I've been feeding my spirit and soul with God's love. Wooooohoooooo!!!! The seed has been planted years and years ago, and after a long period of dryness, it was watered again when I started with the Singles Encounter. Then with the Family Encounter. Then with the Life in the Spirit Experience. Then with the Kerygma Conference. Then with the Katinas concert. I am just outpouring with love and happiness and joy and peace and everything great that I just have to share it with you all. Wooooooooooohoooooot!!!! :) When the time comes that I'll get hurt again, looking back and reading this entry will remind me that the sorrow only lasts for a night and joy comes in the morning :D So many things have changed since October, and I am sooooooo grateful that things happened. Physically, I changed a bit... hehehe :D But the big difference is how changed I am inside.

Over the past weeks, I've learned that everybody encounters trials at several points in their lives, and it breaks them to pieces. I won't even begin to tell you the many ways of how broken I am. Let's skip the drama for the meantime :D I am so overflowing with happiness that I can't subdue myself to talk about sad stuff. :D So going back... EVERYBODY IS BROKEN. Everybody has lost a loved one to death or someone else, everybody got hurt, everybody has hurt someone else, everybody has done something... bad. But, broken as we are, that doesn't give us the license to feel depression and self-pity. Even if God isn't responsible for the situations we're experiencing, He is with us through the experience. When I thought that my world was crashing down, it was in Him that I found comfort and peace. I will go through more pain in my lifetime (I'm betting my friend's paycheck on that), but God is with me through it all and that makes ALL the difference.

Tomorrow will be another day full of God's surprises, and everytime I'll wake up, I'll remember to thank Him for all the great things He has blessed me with. I am super duper excited for this new life I will be living. Miracles are about to happen to me, and I pray that I can be a miracle for someone else, too :D He gives and takes away, but my heart will choose to bless His holy name forever :D Let's live a happy and meaningful life :D Woooooooooot!!!!!

Overflowing :D

So many thoughts are running through my mind right now and all of them are happy ones :D For the past months, everybody [who's in my circle] knows that I went through tough times. The weight of all the relationships (take note, plural ito) gone awry was just really difficult to handle. But right now... as in RIGHT NOW... I'm experiencing incredible peace and joy and happiness. :D It feels so light having surrendered everything to Him. I am overflowing with love and happiness. WOOOOHOOOOOOOT! :D For every tear that I shed and for every depressing memory and thought that crossed my mind, God has replaced it with laughter and peace of mind. :D

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart --Ps 37:4

Amazing :D

I was going through the entries I've written in this blog since day 1, and I am simply amazed at the progress I've made. Ang galing! Ang galing ni Lord! :D In a previous entry, I wrote that I was still in mourning. Well, now, the dancing has begun!!!

To be honest, I started this blog with the intention of earning extra money. But now that I'm having so much fun expressing my thoughts and having a creative outlet for my technical work, I write for me and not for the money (or for other people :P) I tried keeping diaries when I was younger but I never followed through. I have tons of them stored somewhere in the house. Hehe :D But the feeling of satisfaction and achievement that comes from knowing that I've grown and improved so much over the months makes the writing all worth it. I don't think I'll ever be a professional blogger though. At least not now :P It is enough that my writing helps in my personal growth, and I hope it helps those who read it, too :D

The Lord has blessed me with a gift, and I'll use it to bless others as well. Life is so awesome, don't you think? So much to write about :D Jesus in me loves you all :D Huuuuug!!!! :D

Happy :)

I just had one of the best weekends of my life :) It was just... W-O-W. I have never felt so loved by God, family, friends, and friends of family :) I praise the Lord for what just happened. It's like an artery was unclogged in my heart, and a smile is forever glued to my face. :D This is what happy means. :D

And as for the rest of my life, here is what I intend to do:

Be always humble, gentle, and patient. Show your love by being tolerant with one another. Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ. -- Ephesians 4: 2, 31-32

It's cliche but when you slammed the front door shut, a lot of others opened up. Thank you :)

Miles Away

very well said, Madonna :)

All my dreams, they fade away
I'll never be the same
If you could see me the way you see yourself
I can't pretend to be someone else

Always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we're at our best, miles away

Too much of no sound
Uncomfortable silence can be so loud
Those three words are never enough
When it's long distance love

I'm alright
Don't be sorry, but it's true
When I'm gone, you realize
That I'm the best thing that happened to you

You always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we're at our best, miles away
So far away

Forgive and (?) Forget

When you get deeply hurt, human nature will tell you to hurt back... to get revenge... to make him feel at least a pinch of what you're feeling. So when I chose to forgive, many were surprised. Before any violent reactions, here's what I think:

Forgiving is NEVER EQUAL to forgetting. Forgiving doesn't make things okay. Up to now, I still feel tugs of pain whenever I see or hear things, moments, songs that remind me of the past and the recent events. There's no more crying, but there's still pain. Healing takes time, so I'm just looking forward to the point when the pain's completely gone. Right now, I'm just letting God and nature take their course. But... even with the pain gone, I don't think it's possible to forget. The lying and the cheating will always be there, carved on stone.

To forgive, however, is a different story. If it were up to me, I'd rather let people wallow in guilt and sleepless nights especially when I know I've done nothing wrong. But I feel like a different person now, more mature in lots of ways. So I know that it's not through my abilities that I'm able to forgive, but through God's grace. By forgiving you (and her), I'm surrendering you to God and letting Him take care of things. It's no longer in my hands. I forgive you.

So... I pray for great and happy lives for all of us. Charge everything to experience. I'm blessed and I know you will be, too. Smile... because as you've said, life is beautiful :)

Awaken the Miracle in YOU

I'm advertising for Kuya George. HAHAHA :D

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- And who knows, God may be cooking up a personal surprise for you through the Conference!

So what are you waiting for? Click here now to register!

SEE YOU THERE!!!!! :D

God's Plan

Human eyes and human minds will always see and think of things differently as God does. We always say that things happen for a reason and it's "God's plan" for us. When we fall down the stairs, we'll justify that it was God's plan for us so we'll know next time not to text while going down a flight of stairs so we won't miss a step. When we fail an exam, we'll think that it was God's plan for us so we'll study harder next time. When we lose someone, we'll convince ourselves that it's God's plan for us so we can move on to someone better.

But, after a few heartfelt conversations with wiser people, Bible reading, and prayers, I understand now that God doesn't intend for us to get hurt in any way. No sadistic parent would want that for their child. It's not in His plan for us to hurt people intentionally or unintentionally. It's not in His plan for us to get hurt. It is the consequences of the choices we pursue and the decisions we make, as humans, that hurt us. Free will does that to us. The miracle, however, is that God is able to use these circumstances, these "wrong" decisions, to His [and eventually our] advantage. We learn from experience. We get more attuned to His voice. So, the next time we're faced with similar situations, we're able to discern properly what to do.

So, the next time we fall down the stairs, hurt someone, or get hurt, it's not necessarily what God wants for us. Have faith however that:

All things work together for good to those who love God --Romans 8:28

Singles For Christ

Yes, I'm talking about the real phrase SFC stands for. Disclaimer though... I'm not really part of SFC but our community doesn't really have much difference from it... just the name. Since birth, I've been part of a charismatic community because my parents forced me. At least, that was when I was younger. Now, I choose to belong.

Many of my friends have asked me why I attend meetings, why I choose to belong, when in fact "community" is just a front for socializing and networking, and God is just a sideline. At some degree, they're right. It's just a venue for meeting people, finding friends, and most of the time lifetime partners (I could go on with all the types of relationships you can form in community but I'll have to stop here because that will need another blog entry, but I really don't want to write about it. ANYWAY...). Yes, we do socialize. And sometimes we get carried away with the socializing (wink wink). But personally, I think serving God with people who share the same beliefs and values as you do is the main point of community.

People always think that those who attend prayer meetings are all holy and blameless and shielded from the world's cruelties and pain. SO TOTALLY WRONG. Look at me! Haha! I still sin. I still think mean things. I still have my b*tch moments. I flare up when I'm angry. My left eyebrow rises involuntarily at the sight and presence of certain people. I get depressed when I get hurt. But the difference now is -- I have friends who help me bounce back. I have older and wiser friends who can minister and disciple because they've been through similar events and God has used them as living examples that His plans always work in the end. I have people praying for me.

We're not perfect. We still go through the good and the bad. But being in community makes the bad bearable (and eventually something good), and the good even more joyous. No community is perfect. It's made up of people, and people falter most of the time. But the purpose of being in community -- to serve God and to evangelize -- makes it worthwhile. The victories outnumber the failures most of the time, too.

SFC

If I ignore the acronym and the place, it usually saves my day. 50% off on hot regular and large coffee drinks until Nov. 30 at Net One, Bonifacio Global City :) I personally think it's not as great as Starbucks, but it's still coffee and it serves its purpose at a lesser price. Haha! I will have a blessed week. Hope you will too :)

Why I love Gossip Girl.

The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life, the prince goes off with the wrong princess. Or the spell wears off and two lovers realize they're better off as... well, whatever they are. But I'll confess... every once in a while a girl craves her fairy tale ending.

xoxo

Meralco Theatre

I have this habit of peeling off the scab of a wound prematurely so it leaves that area of the skin reddish and itchy. Sometimes, it even reopens the wound. Going to Meralco Theatre to watch Steffi compete tonight was just like that. I had to pass by C5, Silvercity Tiendesitas, Ortigas Home Depot, Metrowalk, etc. I'm hating Ortigas at the moment. I can't decide if they're good or bad memories. I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until we got to the lobby.

Oh well, alcohol always does the trick. Makes the scabbing faster. I need both the antiseptic type and the drinking type. Haha! :D

Just off the top of my head

God is a good God, and He did not create the world evil. I just heard from a talk I attended tonight that people are inherently good since we are made in God's likeness. I agree. Evil therefore comes out because of our weaknesses. But, God has promised that in our weakness, He is made strong. So, that means we still have the capability to turn something evil into something good IF we let go and let God.

Stuff you should know

I got a forwarded email from an ex-officemate yesterday, and some of the quotes made me laugh out loud so I thought of sharing it to the world as well (or at least those reading my blogs, thaaaanks :P). I was thinking of forwarding it but.. I wanted other people to read it without me sending mails to them. Hehe :D

"Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pag tinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon."

"Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

"Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."

"Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

"Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."
"Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."
"Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."
"dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung 'di mo pagtityagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit. sobrang lugi. kung alam lang 'yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela."
"Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa'yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili."
"Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima , sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."

Make sense right? :)

Something about going up and crashing down.

Certain events in my life have pushed me to do things I won't normally do. Like wall climbing. It's not really my thing. I'd rather be shopping you know. But... gotta give my boring life a spike. So lets go wall climbing :)

They said that the perfect place for beginners is the wall at Market! Market!. I've been there many times and just shook my head when crazy people were climbing up the walls. Now I'm one of them. And it feels great :D Kuya Reggae even gave the second climb for free since I made it the first time. Not bad for a beginner.

Mid-way up the wall, I was deciding whether to let go and just fall back down, or save my face and at least try to make it to the top. Then I saw kids (yep, kids!) climbing up the inclined (overhang? I'll be learning the terms soon :P) wall faster than Spider-man. So I thought if they can do it, so can I. Heck, I was just climbing a flat wall! Hahaha! So I made it. Whether I think I can or can't, I'm right anyway. I decided I can :) When I was already 12 meters above the ground, I thought that the hardest part would be going down. How was I going to do that?! So I was up there for a few minutes or so laughing alone and holding on to the two pieces of rock like they were the last rocks on earth. I was afraid to look down because that's what they always say, right? Never look down? Haha! Then I heard Kuya Reggae shouting "Kapit sa tali! Ako bahala sayo!" And I was like.. let go of the rocks? What's wrong with you? Then Nic, my climbing buddy, said I have to hold on to the rope so the belayer can secure me down, cos that's his job. Oh. That's his job. So when I let go of the rocks and held on to the rope, Kuya Reggae eased me down like he's been doing it all his life. (He probably has.. haha!) Crashing down has never been so easy :D

More pictures at my multiply site. Gotta be my friend first, stalkers not allowed :P

Conclusion

While reading through the entries I've written, I realized I really didn't make some things clear enough. So, to finalize events, here is all I can say:

LDR does not work.

At least, it doesn't for me. It would have, you know. I was willing to wait and compromise. But, oh well. Things happen for a reason. God is busy preparing the many things he has in store for me, and I'm waiting faithfully.

So that's it. Simple and concise. Let's not go for strike 3 ok? :)

Status Report

Many have asked if I'm ok because I haven't written anything for a few days now. Yes, I am. You must remember that I write best when I'm overwhelmed with emotions. And now that I got my act back, I'm able to focus more on other things like work and my social life. I'm actually doing better than expected. A friend told me it's good that I'm not falling apart. Oh, but I did! I did fall apart. Who wouldn't? I just have a great support system who put humpty dumpty back together.

People who know me well know that I think obsessively. And for the past weeks, I have been contemplating on the things happening to my life. Was it my fault? Could I have done anything to prevent it from happening? Am I really mad? And I realized the answers to these questions are all no. Probably, my only fault was trusting too much, being complacent and over-estimating capabilities of others to foresee the consequences of their actions. And nothing in my power could've prevented this from happening. As I've said in one of my first entries, it was bound to happen. As for anger, I really am not mad. Other friends are telling me I should be bitter with all that happened. Yes, sometimes I am. But since I've been in the other side of the coin at some point in my life, I understand how it feels too. I know that it never was the intention to hurt someone else. But then again, you allowed for it to happen so... that's what you get when you let your heart win (whoooaaaa). I strongly suggest to use your brain as well sometimes.

My prayer these days is not for them to fall into a manhole (just trying to be funny), but for no one to feel what I'm feeling. I pray that everyone's happy. That this won't happen AGAIN (if you know what I mean..). Because no one deserves to feel this kind of pain. I've forgiven, but it's too hard to forget just yet. My prayers have been working wonders for me these past few weeks and I know it will continue to sustain me and hopefully everyone else in the future. Hopefully, this is the last entry on this topic. But who knows, right? :P It's like I'm in a precipice and any gush of wind will send me crashing back down. But I'll be optimistic for a change. Let's not feel sad for me already. Let's not hurt for me. Time to move on for real :D

What's wrong with the male population?

Comfort food (I'm eating now) for shitty times. Jaui and I decided to have lunch at Serendra and ponder on why men have to make things difficult. We just recently realized that all the stress and hyperventilation and pressure are coming from the men in our lives - officemates, fiances, exes. All men. We were about to get coffee from Coffee Bean High Street and do more XY bashing when a group of male foreigners blocked our way and one of them greeted us. The conversation (if you call it a conversation) went something like this:

XY chromosome: Ahh.. pretty ladies!
XX chromosomes: [looking at each other, thinking if we're supposed to run away now]
XY chromosome: I'm a decent man, with a decent job. I'm a good guy. And I'm looking for someone who could perhaps have dinner with me and get to know me...
XX chromosome (me): Sorry, we're not available [starts to walk away]
XY chromosome: [looking at Jaui] Ah but she is! (comment lang: OH THE IRONIES OF LIFE! HAHAHA)
XX crhomosome (Jaui): Sorry, I'm not. [walking away now]

So there. We got (in)decent proposals at lunch hour at Boni High Street. We were laughing all the way back to the office.

Again.. my ultimate question for the month: What's wrong with the male population?

XY

Interesting day so far.

Super duper great coffee (I think the baristas know I'm going through something... they're putting something in there, I swear). Healthy lunch (at least I think it's healthy). Not so healthy but super yummy dessert. Then worship tonight. So far so good :D

The past week has been a rollercoaster ride and my emotions are on the extremes, but I am slowly mastering the art of diversion. The fact that my blogs aren't as heavy and as poetic(poetic nga ba? :P) as before should mean something, right? Right. And after spending the weekend in hibernation and shopping, I have come to accept (another acceptance) that the XY chromosome is complex. If women are algebra, then they're calculus. I was never good at calculus.

Today is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it :P

Ditto

Heard this on the radio and I just can't stop smiling. :D Beyonce couldn't have said it in a better way :P

If I were a boy
I think that I’d understand
how it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
cause I know how it hurts
when you lose the one you wanted
cause he’s taken you for granted
and everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy
You don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything that you had got destroyed
But your just a boy

It's not the end of the world.

Wallowing-in-self-pity phase is done. Let's move on to the count-your-blessings phase. :D This blog is already weighed down by the raw emotions it carries. So to balance stuff, let's look at the bright side of things.

A friend told me I can still act normal and bash people and feel bitter. But I am normal without the bashing and the bitterness (ok fine.. just a little bit bitter :P). I found out that when you get immensely hurt, you have no energy left to feel anything else. Instead, you unconsciously focus on healing and getting back on your feet. And the bashing and the most part of the bitterness will be taken care of by your loyal and faithful friends. :D

If there's one thing that I'm thankful for (inspite of all the events that happened), it's the overflowing number of friends I didn't realize I have. And if it were not for certain people, I would never have met them at all and they wouldn't have been here for me at the time I needed them most. Every night is coffee night and the weekend is booked with activities with different people. I've never been this in-demand in the last few years :P

So, so what right? I'm still a rock star and I've got my rock moves and I'm alright and I'm just fine. At day 4, I'm acknowledging that God is able to turn mourning into dancing in His own time. And even though I'm not feeling like the dancing has started yet, I have faith that God will never allow His beautiful children to get stuck in mourning for a long time. I'm trading my sorrows, I'm trading my pain, I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord. :)

So one day at a time. Start it with a prayer, a little bit of makeup, and a tall hot hazelnut latte. Before I even realize it, work is done and I'm having coffee again, decaf this time, with people who matter. Another day ends and I find myself looking forward to the next one :)

Life's consolations

Since my body is rejecting all kinds of solid food, I'm trying to drink as much as I can. Comfort drinks for shitty times :D

And I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the people who bought them for me (yes, got them all for free!!!! sucker for freebies :P)

- Yesterday's drink was sponsored by a barista from Starbucks San Antonio Village.
- Today's drink was sponsored by Jaui.
- Today's lunch (still in liquid form) was sponsored by Consuelo.

More power to you friends who offer consolation prizes in life. You never know what free drinks can do for a damaged heart.

Back to normal.

Around me, everything seems so normal. The boys banter around like they always do. Emails arrive from the usual people. All issues are flagged critical and I don't know which one I should prioritize. But inside... everything's changed.

They say it will get better in time. I know that. But right now... the pain just envelopes me.

I have my support system. And everything seems ok and better when they're around. But when I'm alone in my room or in my cube.. it's a totally different story.

At least I know each day is better than the previous one. .01% progress is better than none at all. I wonder how long I have to keep writing before I can look back on all the entries and just laugh it off..

A friend says my smile brightens up his day. (Now I've heard/read that before. Wonder when/where.. hehe) If only he knew that the happiest smile masks the saddest heart.

Night and Day

The nights are tolerable, but it's the waking up to a bright morning that will probably send you crashing down. Maybe because at night, when everything is dark, you feel the world is cooperating with you. It mourns while you mourn. It grieves while you grieve. It's able to mask the sadness, the hurt.

But bright mornings? There's no place to hide. You pray that there will be some comfort during the day that you'll have to endure. But prayer and divine intervention aside, you still can't numb the pain. And the world goes on. With all its beauty and cheerfulness. And you have to go through it everyday until the wound becomes a scab... then a scar. And all you can do is pray that you don't bump into anything that will rub it raw and open again.

Happiness is a choice, love is a commitment.

First was fear that my instincts were correct. Then came the denial. Then the shortness of breath, the shaking of the hands, and then the tears waiting to pour like water in a dam with leaks. I should've known. It was a time bomb waiting to explode. And explode it did.

I always thought that stuff like this only happens in movies and soaps. But almost all of us, me included, forget that those stories are reflections of life's realities. The actors cry buckets of tears. And so do the humans.

Does it hurt? Hurt is an understatement. The physical pain associated with it is NOTHING compared to the pain the heart -- and the soul -- are feeling. In loving, you submit yourself not to the possibility of getting hurt but to the assurance that you will get hurt. There are no possibilities. Only assurances.

Am I ok? Yes, but of course I've known better times. You cannot take away from me my grateful heart. And I thank the Lord every time I wake up for the glorious life he has planned out for me. I stumble, often times on people's feet they (un)consciously stick out before me and I fall flat on the floor sometimes... but at the end of the day I get up and know that the best is yet to come.

"For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope." -- Jeremiah 29:11

Am I angry? I'd be a hypocrite if I say I didn't feel angry. But anger will just make my shoulders hurt even more. So instead of feeling angry, I focus on the good vibes. I am thankful that the bomb exploded now while there's still so much to save and evacuate. I choose to be happy. Someone I know used to tell me that happiness is a choice, and for that nugget of wisdom I am thankful to him. I choose to be happy and stay happy despite the disastrous circumstances I'm in.

I write not to ask for sympathy. I write to heal. And the healing starts now.

One Big Fight.

So we lost.

I guess my alma mater won't be happy I'm using "THE" Ateneo's cheer as title for my blog. (RP said to always say "the", pronounced as thee take note, before saying Ateneo. The Ateneo.) I never really understood the hype over the rivalry. It's not as if La Sallians and Ateneans can't get along. More so, I never understood how the good tickets are always sold out, but can be bought more than 5x the original price from scalpers and resellers. Good thing we have a TV in the pantry (where the fanatics were having coffee and taking a break from work). But when the announcer said last two minutes!!! and Ateneo was up by 10pts (if I remember correctly), I started feeling guilty about watching TV during work hours. So I went back to work :P

Bad game for DLSU (of course it's bad. We lost). And Maierhoffer got thrown out of the game. Tsk. The only redeeming factor for me is: Chris Tiu is h-o-t. I can't help but cheer when he's the one making the shots. Oh right, he's an Atenean. Oh well. So no redeeming factor for me. There really aren't any players in La Salle's line-up that can equal/surpass Chris Tiu's hotness. End of story. I stand corrected. May gwapo naman pala sa DLSU.. Simon Atkins :x

So... congratulations my Ateneo friends (RP, Jaui, Ann, PJ, Aldy, Rica, the rest of the gang). It has been 6 years after all :) Might as well get a taste of winning the championships. Haha! :D

Expand!

The blessings of the Lord is commensurate to how much you can take.

If only most people would realize that self-worth is as important as bank accounts, we'd be saving the world from a lot of poverty. Yeah, it sounds too ideal.. too theoretical. But you have to admit, if we just thought more highly of ourselves, life can be a whole lot better.

I just came from a short talk by Alvin Barcelona on financial literacy (yeehhheesss... hahaha) and he said one of the top reasons why most Filipinos are poor is because they don't think they can ever be rich. How sad. But true. Perfect example is our household helper.. manang. I was cooking pasta a few weekends ago and I offered her a portion. She politely refused kase pang mayaman lang ang spagiti (spaghetti is only for the rich). If I didn't know manang well enough, I'd say she's just making up an excuse so she won't have to eat what I cooked. But, that's not the case. Promise. The pasta I cooked only had tomatoes (canned) and mushrooms and spices (from mom's pantry). Total cost: ~200Php Servings: ~4 so that makes it ~50Php per serving. I know food preference doesn't exactly determine financial wealth. What I'm highlighting here is the mentality. If you think you don't deserve something being given to you, regardless if the Giver thinks you deserve it, then it won't be given to you. Simple as that. Mom had an extra serving of pasta that weekend.

I still have hopes for manang that she'll be rich, too, someday. I have a long way to go in my personal mission to help her, and my first step is to make her realize that food isn't categorized (like humans in society) into food for the rich and food for the poor. It's just a matter of preference. And as for you and me, let's learn to expand. Expand our borders, our territories, our responsibilities, and our spiritual vessels so we can accommodate all the good great things we deserve.

For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away. --Mt 25:29

The Shack

Mack lost his daughter Missy during a camping trip, and found her bloody dress in a rundown shack miles away from their camp site after several days of searching. Authorities never found her body nor her killer. A few years later, he receives a note apparently from God, inviting him to go back to the shack and spend the weekend with Him. Mack thought it was either a bad joke being played on him, or it really was God inviting him. Out of curiousity, he went on the trip expecting the worst.

If I could spend a weekend with God, how will I spend it? I mean.. should I ask Him the questions that humanity has been asking since the dawn of time: why does he allow bad things happen to good people, am I really going to be punished for all the times I lied, what happens to those people who don't believe in Him, which religion should I believe in? What should I expect him to look like? Will he be like Zeus in Disney's Hercules? Or will he look like Gandalf in Lord of the Rings? Is he really old-looking? What does heaven look like? Is it really guarded by a golden gate? Is it really up in the clouds?

Growing up, I've been raised a Catholic and I've been "programmed" to follow Catholic principles. Follow the commandments. Never miss mass on Sundays. Don't fall asleep during the homily. Love God with all your heart. Be nice to your sister. Be charitable to the less fortunate. Pray. Be afraid of the Lord because He punishes those who don't follow Him. Be good. Abhor evil. Not only that, my childhood and growing years were flooded with religious stereotypes. Cartoons and movies depicted God as an old guy with white robes and long gray hair and a loud booming voice, and heaven is a golden city up on the clouds.

After reading The Shack, it's like I've been reformatted and booted up with a new system, a new outlook and thinking. All the things I thought were true and righteous were debunked, and were replaced by new beliefs and values. Like Mack, my view of God changed into a deeper, more personal level. He doesn't look like Zeus after all :P And heaven isn't made of gold. It's amazing how many realizations were made and how many ideologies and theories were challenged and proven self-righteous in a few hundred pages. Being religious doesn't necessarily mean being faithful. Being good in our eyes does not necessarily mean being good in God's eyes. If there is one fictional book that you'll have to read for the month, grab The Shack (Yes, this is higher than Twilight in my list of favorites.). If it doesn't change how you look at humanity and how you view God and your relationship with Him, let me know. I'll have to treat you to a retreat and a session with a counselor or something. Haha!

When we leave our comfort zone, growth.

I was browsing through the comments section of one of my favorite bloggers and one of his friends left a comment:

When we leave our comfort zone, growth.

It struck a raw nerve. Because I am comfortable in a few aspects of my life right now. (I'm highlighting the word FEW. There are still areas in my life that I would want to be comfortable in, pero hindi ako dyosa..not too perfect you know:P) And haven't you noticed that I only write when I feel strongly about something or when I have a realization that I want to share with the world? I don't blog about stuff like my dog peed on the post of our stairs this morning. So anyway, before I stray too far from the topic, I cannot agree more with what he said. When we become comfortable, we fall into a routine and the next series of events become predictable. When people ask me how I am these days, I answer "same old same old". And I feel now that that's not entirely good.

It dawned on me that I might be experiencing quarter-life crisis.. wanting growth and looking for change to trigger growth... nurture my spirituality... live independently and boost my career. I think most of my friends are going thru the same thing. But then again, I know most adults who are way past their early 20s, but are still in a similar kind of predicament.

Sometimes, I feel that I'm living below my potential (right now). And that's probably the triggering factor why I'm feeling routinized. And now that i know that I can do way better than this, perform better when I have the proper mindset, I have already made the first step in instigating change.

Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown. --Author unknown

Retail therapy

For the past months, I have been indulging on my favorite hobby. Shopping. After getting myself insurance and a retirement plan (ha!), I vowed to curb my spending habits and focus on the goal: save enough to pay for the premiums.

But retail therapy is just so... appetizing. Getting something shiny and new beats indulging in ice cream and chocolate. I reallocate my resources if I have to. It's one of the spikes in my monotonous life line. (But don't worry, it's not as if I'm wallowing in debt or anything.. I still keep my finances in check, thank you very much).

But when the glow of the shiny, sparkly item is gone.. so is the excitement that came when it was bought. And then I realize (again) that retail therapy can only cure so much. A little over a few weeks to be exact. And life is back to its normal rate. And then I wait until I have pooled enough resources so I could spike it up (again). And a new cycle begins (again).

Sometimes, I wonder what it feels like to be on the other side of the game: be the retailer instead of the buyer. Will I feel the same high when I'm able to make people believe that this bag is the next "it" bag of the season so they'll buy my stuff? (I'd probably hoard items for myself. Haha!) That thought crossed my mind so many times that I sometimes think I'm in the wrong industry. But I haven't had *the* passion to push through with the idea. Well, at least, not YET.

What is it with women and shopping?! Tsk :P

Bester

Some things change...
From Backstreet Boys, Algebra problems, first boyfriends, physics long tests, lazy summer afternoons...
To Edward Cullen, career paths, Nth boyfriends and lost loves, once-in-a-blue-moon night outs...
But some never will. Bester to the end my one and only :)

New Look

Yipee! A more personalized look for my site :D

Well.. not really personalized cos I got the theme from multiply. But at least it shows off a bit more of my personality :P And my rusty CSS skills.. haha! The last time I used CSS was 2 years ago.. so I had to do a lot of trial-and-error. But it worked :D

Special thanks to

It's just emotions.

My sister was studying for an exam (while I was blogging away about Breaking Dawn) when she read aloud a text that she thought I might be interested in:

Bottling up of emotions leads to physical discomfort and muscular pain. Anger is frequently trapped in the muscles of the shoulders. Grief in the muscles surrounding the stomach. And fear in the leg muscles.

Often, this trapped emotion can lead to a chronic postural problem.

--Wilhelm Reich

Oooh... lots of anger bottled up inside :D Or maybe I just need new pillows and try a new sleeping position. Hehe :D

Broken Dawn

While I'm at it, might as well post a review on the book. Spoilers ahead. But by this time, every fan must have read the book already. If you haven't, you really didn't miss anything spectacular.

So for those reading my page (thanks. haha), my addiction to the vampires is bordering on abnormal. I've been waiting for ages for the last installment of the series, and once it was delivered on my doorstep (office reception) I read it like there was no more tomorrow.

Until I got to the chapters where Bella and Edward had sex. (Goodness). And Bella got pregnant. (Huwat?!) And she gave birth to Renesmee (Seriously.) And best friend werewolf Jacob imprinted on Renesmee (Noo... Seriously.) And Edward called Jacob "son". (What the F. What's wrong with you.)

I wasn't entirely disappointed, actually. Twilight Saga still ranks as my favorite. But Breaking Dawn kind of normalized my obsession. And I don't like my obsession being normalized. Abnormality makes it exciting. And now, it's just normal.

I guess the only disappointment I had with the book is its lack of action. Nothing exciting happened (aside from Bella giving birth.. that was a different kind of excitement. Not a good one.). Every loose end of the story was tied up in a neat little bow. And as humans, we clamor for struggle and tension in a story.. we clamor for something we can relate to. Even though its fiction. And in my opinion, that was what Breaking Dawn lacked. It would have been better if one of the wolves died. Or Jacob died saving Edward from the Volturi attack (if there was an attack). But that's just my fanfiction. I'm still giving Meyer credit for the whole Twilight Saga. Of course, it still had its kilig moments (Bella and Edward's wedding). But other than that, the story was sailing on a calm ocean. On a clear day. Without a bird in the sky.

You get the point.

Nothing

Ok.. so August flew by without a word from me. I would like to say that I've been busy, but busy is not in my vocabulary right now. Im downright bored. And to say that I'm bored is.. a pity.

It's almost the end of August in a few hours and as I come to think of any momentous event that happened that I can reflect on tonight.. I am stumped. Aside from the fact that I've read tons of books, watched movies on WinDVD, and the occasional calls with RP, my August has been uneventful. Oh scrap that. I almost forgot about my date w/ my best friend. Rewrite: Aside from the books, downloaded movies, weekend calls to the US, and the dinner date last Friday, August has been uneventful.

What a complete opposite from my previous entry. *Sigh*

This past weekend, I've been catching up on movies that I missed on the big screen. Just a few minutes ago, I finished watching Wanted. And now that I think about it... I must be reacting to Wesley's parting question: What the F have you done lately? My answer: Nothiiiiiiiinnng.

A Piece of Heaven

I got 4 books at discounted prices and 1 book free from Fully Booked Boni High Street. Now, I'm fully booked till the next sale :P
I got a free Chai Tea Latte after lunch and a free Double Vanilla Tea Latte after dinner from Coffee Bean.
I hung out with a friend/distant relative at Seattle's after work.

Yey for discounts, freebies, and good conversation. Life is great :D

Grace for free

I was reading my daily dose of reflections from Didache, and it struck a raw nerve so I felt compelled to share it with you.

Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.
Matthew 13:13

Hugh Hefner, the flamboyant founder of the Playboy porn empire, will never understand what faithfulness in marriage means even after reading 300,000 books on the subject. At the age of 80, he currently has three hot blondes sharing his bed as his stay-in concubines. (He used to have seven but he decided to downsize.)
A Filipino actor-turned-politician who boasts of his record of 86 children from different women, will never understand the Christian Parenting seminar being taught in the church across the street where he lives.
A BIR officer of the country, whose pocket is padded from under the table deals will never understand a sermon on honesty. Why? Not because the ideas are too complex. Even children know how to explain faithfulness, responsibility and honesty. Truth is, understanding brings guilt. Understanding requires repentance as a response. This is the part they dont like. Sin blinds the eyes, plugs the ears and dulls understanding.
Two things can make you understand: Gods mercy or His judgment. Choose His mercy now! You might not like His judgment if its too late. --Jon Escoto

It simply is the truth. Even though God's forgiveness and grace is just within our reach, we choose (subconsciously in most cases) not to receive it because that means acknowledging our worldliness and letting go of the things we enjoy that are not necessarily pleasing to God's eyes.

Something serious to post for a change :D

Science fiction for people who don't like science fiction

So I don't only read about vampires, but I also read about aliens. My coolness meter just went up a few more levels. Hehehe :D

I never understood all the hype about sci fi, so I never read anything related to that.. until Meyer published The Host. I was hesitant at first because it was about alien invasion -- yikes. But after reading the chapters posted on her site, I got the book and read through it in a week. I was half expecting Edward to appear somewhere in the middle of the story :P I officially have a new favorite author. Thank goodness Meyer isn't a one-hit-wonder.

The best thing about the book is probably being able to make sci-fi readable for non sci-fi readers. Aliens, called Souls, that looked like silvery living ribbons invade earth by taking over human bodies, and then turn the world into the ultimate paradise -- all types of cancer are cured, no wars, no theft, no crimes, no bad anything. Not as half-bad as it sounds. But then, the human hosts, once taken over by a soul, no longer have control over their own minds and body and eventually lose their identity. Naturally, the remaining humans hide and fight for their survival. But after one of them gets caught, they realize that it's still possible to co-exist with the parasite and forge deep and meaningful relationships with someone (or something :P) from another race. More so, they realize that being human does not necessarily mean being parasite-free. Being human should be measured instead by the compassion and kindness you show others regardless if they're aliens, humans, or vampires. :P

I probably should give reading fiction a rest and switch back to self-help. My right brain is so worked up these days, don't you think? :P

Rome in 15 HOURS

***taken from my multiply***

Never in my wildest dreams did I actually think that I'll get to visit Rome. Not only is the ticket expensive, it's too far from the Philippines :P The farthest I've been to is our province in Butuan. But the Lord has blessed me and I was able to reach Italy and get back to Sweden alive to write about the trip. So, for those planning to go on a Euro trip and Rome is in your itinerary (and it should be!!), I hope this helps.

Rome is the capital of Italy and is known as the la Citta Eterna (the Eternal City). It's pretty congested (w/ people), almost like Manila.. low-rise apartments, laundry hanging to dry on the balcony and rooftops, vandalism in every corner.. think Ermita or Intramuros and central Rome is just like that. Good thing that the famous architectures, museums, and Piazzas were well worth the trip. If it's your first time in Rome and you only have 15 hours to tour, it's better to take advantage of the hop on-hop off tour buses. I think the standard price is 16EUR for a day-pass. You won't be able to go to all the famous places (Rome wasn't built in a day, and you can't tour it in one day either :P) but you're sure that you'll get to see the top 10 places at least. Read on and I'll bring you (virtually) to the spots we visited :P

Bocca della Verita If you've seen the film Only You (Robert Downey Jr & Marisa Tomei), this monument will be very familiar to you. The Mouth of Truth is the lie detector of Ancient Rome. Legend has it that it will bite off your hand if you're telling a lie while your hand is in the mouth of the sculpture.

Piazza Navona This Piazza is one of the most famous squares in Rome. It houses Bernini's famous Fontana dei Quattro Fiumi (Fountain of the Four Rivers) and Porta's Fontana di Nettuno and Fontana del Moro. When we were there, Fontana dei Quattro Fiumi was under restoration and was protected by glass windows. So.. too bad for us. It reminded me of Eastwood: human statues (like the one here with the moving mermaids) and an open market full of people selling paintings and other artsy fartsy stuff. Take note.. Italians have love handles too. Mabuhay ang love handles!!!

Pantheon While looking for the Pantheon, we passed by a lot of small streets. So you can just imagine our surprise when we turned around the corner and ended up in a square with a majestic building in the center. Small street after small street then Pantheon. huuwaaat?! It was sooo crowded with people all wanting to take pictures of the famous dome. The Pantheon, in ancient times, was a temple for the gods, then converted into a Christian church, then converted into a tomb. Multipurpose :P The hole on the top of the dome is supposed to be symbolic of the sun, and is the only source of light of the whole structure.

Basilica di San Pietro Goodness gracious great balls of fire.This has to be the highlight of my whole visit in Rome. Words can't even describe how spectacular the Basilica is. Everywhere you look, there are sculptures or paintings, or etching or whatever artwork you can think of. And the sculptures!!! They're bigger than life-size!!! Hands down to Bernini. Did you know that the Basilica was built on top of St. Peter's burial site? Yep. Kurek. The popes are also buried here.. but no pictures allowed inside the mausoleum. And here's the thing.. water from the fountains are drinkable... so we had our refills there. To save our pocket money cos water's expensive :P BTW, watch out for the guards.. Not because they're strict but.. because they're drop-dead gorgeous.

Colosseum This doesn't need any intro. You all know what this is. You haven't been to Rome if you don't have a picture with the Colosseum as background. We weren't able to go inside cos it closed early. To those who don't know what the Colosseum is (shame on you), it was used before as venue for gladiatorial shows - like the movie Gladiator (Russell Crowe). While in the area, we also visited the Arch of Constantine and the Roman Forums, but really didn't appreciate it cos it was too dark.

Fontana di Trevi This should've been the last stop of the day because we were already sooo tired from walking. So from the Colosseum, we walked to Fontana di Trevi because there were no more tour buses at this time and we didn't want to waste our precious Euros on public transpo :P I'm telling you.. I've never walked this much in all my life. So finally, we reached the Fountain.. This was already around 11:45PM and the place was jam-packed. We literally had to squeeze in with other tourists to take a picture. It's tradition to throw a coin into the fountain to ensure your return to Rome.. so I threw 2 coins so I'll return to Rome twice. After the long walk and picture galore.. we got gelatos (2.50 euros, 3 flavors)... It looks good and it tastes even better :P Good bye Cold Rock. Because we got recharged after eating ice cream (sugar rush), we decided to check out one last stop...

Piazza de Spagna This place looked really good in the pictures. But unfortunately.. it was not so photogenic when we got there. The Spanish Steps had this big ad at the top, there were no flowers lined up, and it was full of locals. Hang-out place for them. So.. after ONE picture, we got a cab and left. Hehe.

Of course, we needed a place to stay (sleep for 5hrs is more like it) in Rome, and hotels were out of the question. We simply couldn't afford it. Well, we actually can, but we chose to be frugal and spend the allowance on other stuff :P So, we stayed at Domus Diana, a Bed & Breakfast within walking distance from the Colosseum and the Termini Station. Super affordable and it served its purpose -- a place to sleep. Diana was there herself to welcome us and showed us around her place. No air-conditioning, but the weather was great when we were there.

So there. It's as if you've been to Rome as well :P The sad part of the trip is we weren't able to go inside the Vatican or the Colosseum.. that would've made the trip even better. I'll save it for next time, since I'm returning there anyway :P Ciao!!!