I Kissed Dating Goodbye

The title itself is a turn-off. I wouldn't have picked up this book had I seen it in a book store at a different period in my life. But times have changed. My only regret is that I should've read this sooner than later.

So I kissed dating goodbye. The title is as radical as its contents. While getting my nails done (and I wasn't in the mood to have small talk about Karylle and Marian with the manicurist), I contemplated yet again about my life (note to self: avoid idleness at all costs. bring a book next time). What was I doing?! (Slap on the forehead) The world has its own definition of love -- that passion-filled, sweep-you-off-your-feet, butterflies in your tummy, "haven't felt this way before", "can't stop thinking about you", "can't stop thinking about your smile" kind of feeling. Intense (and beautiful) while it's there, but gone at the blink of an eye. I've seen the "beauty" of this kind of love. But I've also had my fair share of worldly-love inflicted pain. I'm sick and tired of this kind of perspective. Every break-up, whether from a one-week fling or from a serious four-year one, is painful. I don't want it anymore.

Love, in God's definition, is Jesus hanging on the cross. (No, I didn't kiss dating goodbye to become a nun. FYI.) Love is a decision, and not a feeling. It's a decision you stick to no matter the cost. And until I'm ready for that kind of life-long commitment (in other words: marriage... which I'm certainly not ready for right now), I'm lying low from the dating scene. O good Lord, help me. HAHA!

I'm not about to start a debate whether you should quit dating as well. I'm not good at debates (just a good speaker. haha!). DISCLAIMER: I'm not against dating nor people who date. This is just a personal conviction that I'm praying I'll be able to follow through. If you're tired of pointless relationships, if you're in it just for fun, if you're merely looking for someone better and not "the one", grab a copy of the book. Or you can rent mine for a minimal cost :D

You're a WART!

You think it's over and done with... but somehow, the knowledge that certain stuff should've happened but never will upsets your whole system. It's kind of like an irritating wart that you try to ignore, but you know it's there and you can feel it. A bump on your otherwise smooth skin.

Don't get me wrong. I'm still enjoying the long break (while it lasts). Christmas was a blast and the parties and dinners and coffee moments are wonderful memories. It's just that... it's hard to explain. I can't say that I'm not affected anymore because I obviously still am. But then again, the whole thing's just like a wart! You won't die because of it, but the fact that IT's there (or here to be technically correct) is... irritating.

I've read somewhere that when a woman is stressed, she either shops or prays. Stressful times like these require His superpowers already, since my credit card is once again nearing its full potential. Let's blame it on the Mango sale.

Senitmental

As the year ends, and my notepad is filled halfway, I am awed by how God has filled my life with people who have shaped my character very well. (Spare me for the sentimental mood, it's Christmas and Christmas does crazy things to people. At least being sentimental makes me happy and not sad :P) Some friends have been there only during the ups, and some have left me for good, but for the points of contact with them in my existence, I am still grateful. When the Lord takes away, he gives back a hundredfold. In my case, he gave back a thousandfold.

Although the new chapter in my life has begun a few months earlier, what better way to celebrate it this Christmas and New Year with people who matter. And I've been celebrating like there's no tomorrow :D A few relationships might have been severed in the past year... but man, I'm having a blast knowing that I have such great friends now.

It's the season to celebrate friendships... and the season to heal relationships. Bottoms up to all my lifesavers (in so many ways :D)!!!

Battle of the pounds

One good measure of how I'm doing is my weight. I'm gaining back the pounds. OHHHH NOOOOESSSS!!!! Now that I'm doing very well, I'm enjoying food again. HAHAHA! And trying to cut back on eating and drinking during this season is terribly hard. All the parties and gimmicks and nights out and coffee sessions equal more calories.

I definitely don't want the depression again, but I want the weight that comes with it. So I'll have to figure out a way how to not eat and stay full and happy =))

P.S. (Not related to blog title)
I probably might be on hiatus as well from the writing. My social calendar is extremely jam-packed with shopping and meet-ups and parties that I barely have time to sleep. Good for me, right? :D I got what I prayed for.. a very very busy December :D

Have a blessed Christmas everyone! And while I'm at it already, I'll use this opportunity to remind you that amidst the merriness and busy-ness of the season, let's not forget that the real reason for Christmas is... Someone DECIDED to love us. :D

True Love

I just wanted to share with everyone a text lifted from a book I'm currently reading. When I'm done with the whole book, I promise to write about it. I'm not even halfway, but my views and thoughts on love and relationships have radically changed already. How I wish I read this way before. I could've spared myself from all the hurt and disappointments. But then again, God has His own purposes and plans. He makes all things beautiful, in His time... and I'm on my way to being Ms. Universe :D

"...love is under our control. He chose to love us. He chose to lay down His life for us. The danger of believing that you "fall in love" is that it also means you can "fall out of love" just as unexpectedly. Aren't you glad God's love for us isn't as unpredictable? Aren't you thankful that God's love is under His control and not based on whim? We need to throw out the misconception that love is some strange "force" that tosses us around against our will like leaves in the wind. We cannot justify doing what is wrong by saying that love grabbed hold of us and "made" us behave irresponsibly. That's not love. Instead, it's what the Bible calls in 1 Thessalonians 4:5 "passionate lust". We express true love in obedience to God and service to others -- not reckless or selfish behavior -- and we choose these behaviors." --Joshua Harris

Amen.

Christmas Registry

I was preparing my list of gifts to give to friends (I will be on a shopping spree tomorrow. holiday! yey!) when I thought it would be so much easier if I knew what people wanted in the first place. So this year, I am assuming my friends and relatives are having a hard time thinking of what to get me as well.

Thus, I will be saving you, my friends, from the burden of thinking of what to get me for Christmas. Let's make each others' lives easier. HAHA!

1. Body Shop Brilliance Powder (bronze) Every time I hit the malls and see the store, I try the tester but never actually buy it. Too expensive for me. Haha! But of course, it's the season of giving and I'm very much willing to receive this anytime.

2. Body Shop Shimmer Waves Same as explanation above. :D

3. Face Shop Baked Eyeshadow I already have the silver/black shade and it works wonders. You can try it for yourself too. The Face Shop is actually a cheaper alternative to Body Shop. But I usually just pass by their store in High Street because once I go in, I know I can't leave empty-handed. Not good for my saving attempts. :D4. Magic Wallet Everybody seems to have gotten this as a present, but nobody ever got one for me. Haha! I have a fetish for huuuge wallets where you can store anything and everything, but of course it isn't practical when going on a night-out with the girls and all I'm willing to carry is that cute clutch where my phone won't even fit :P

5. GC to ANY bookstore I am a voracious reader. So I won't mind if you're giving me gift certificates to NB, Fully Booked, or A Different Bookstore. Tip: books are cheaper at NB (National Bookstore) but it doesn't usually carry the rare and hard-to-find books that are sold in Fully Booked and A Different Bookstore. But still, GCs from any bookstore will still be GREATLY appreciated. :D

6. BOOKS!!! If you're not the type who gives GCs, then a book will do :D I'm into vampires (HAHAHA!), self-help, Christian living, inspirational, and fiction that uplifts the soul. NO sci-fi, mystery, thriller, or horror please :P

7. Reading light I saw an inexpensive one at Fully Booked, Rockwell (hint hint). I usually read before I sleep and when the lights are out (I share a room with my sister, it's more fun [and cheaper] that way :P), I use my phone's flashlight for reading :P Kawawa naman. HAHA!

8. Notepad Not only am I a voracious reader, but I'm a writer as well. :D I have a small notepad that I bring with me EVERYWHERE (even on night-outs with the girls :P) so whenever a random thought pops up, I can write it down immediately. FYI: Most of the entries here are written first in my notepad. Although, not all of the entries in the notepad are uploaded here. Too personal :D

9. Travelling stuff I travel for work (rarely for leisure :P) and Make Room has all these thingys and gadgets that are useful for "travellers". I never bought one for myself, though, since I thought someone is bound to give those as Christmas/birthday gifts. HAHAHA :D

10. IPHONE A girl can dream :D
11. ANY Katinas album (except Lifestyle: A Worship Experience) Praise music has never sounded soooo great :D Rock and Soul :D If you're going to get me one, I suggest you burn yourself a copy, too :D

If you're not getting me any of these, that doesn't make you less of a friend. Just treat me to dinner or coffee, sagot ko ang kwento. If you're on a budget, then don't treat me, KKB na lang :D But, I'm treating you to bear hugs if you are getting me presents :D HAHAHA!

In one of the talks Bo Sanchez gave during the Kerygma Conference, he said to never be afraid to ask. Of course, in the context in which he gave his talk, he was referring to asking for blessings from the Lord... that you should never settle for what is NOT best for you and to always ask as if you're expecting to get. But, I think that applies to human relationships as well :D People will never know what you want nor what you expect from them if you do not verbalize it. Ask and you shall receive, right? :D

Taboo

This one's a delicate topic, and I'm thankful that Bo (we're tight :P) wrote a piece on it. I have nothing else to add so click away

This is a bold move I'm going to make, but I'm making it anyway.

Let's set the bar high. I am committing to the yoke of purity. Period. No erase.

Somethings don't change

HAHAHA!

WARNING: If you're not a fan of Twilight and haven't read the books, you won't know what I'm talking about. Sorry. Just read my other blogs to pass time. :P

When I finally had a day off from my busy sched, I watched Twilight on a weekday afternoon. We had the cinema all to ourselves. So while drinking Avocado yogurt shake, I indulged in all of Edward's beauty and hotness. Eeeeeeeek!!!! In between sneezes and coughs, I managed to insert squeals and gasps and other sound effects I'm capable of making. Then I watched Twilight at home for the 2nd time the other night. Then probably later this afternoon, too. Sigh. :D It's not everyday that fictional characters have this effect on me. Twilight is an exception. The Cullens are just so... gorgeous (for lack of a better description). I don't mind being sick all the time if espasol Dr. Carlisle will be my doctor. I'd be in the ER all the time (charging the expenses to my health card, of course). My complaint? Hyperventilation. HAHAHA! And Emmet!!!! I looooove Emmet! Those biceps and abs... daaannnng!!! :D Five stars for Twilight (this is from a biased fan)!!!

Although the movie got mixed reviews from my friends, I think it's still soooo cool to see my imagination come alive on the big screen. Their version of sparkling Edward was way better than what I had in mind. The soundtrack is amazing, the whole baseball scene was exactly what I expected (and more, actually), and they couldn't have picked a better Edward and Bella. Every time Edward smiles that smile, my heart just contracts with excitement. Does the heart contract? I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about, girls. Wayfarers will never look great on anyone else but Edward. Swooning now. :x If I could have a boyfriend who could growl at maniacs, drive a Volvo like that, climb trees, carry me on his back while running to the nearest mall, be fascinated to watch me sleep, and most of all treat me like I'm THE only woman in his life (and not just one of the options he has to choose from), then my life would be too perfect. Fictional characters are just way better than real people, don't you think? But therein lies the problem. They're fictional. Created by a woman. HAHA!

Change is GREAT!!!

Change #1
For people who know me, they know that I'm not productive in the morning. DEFINITELY not a morning person (thank God for flexi time). During the past weekends, however, I've been waking up even before the sun rises to prepare for the day's events. A few months ago, weekends would mean sleeping in until manang wakes me up for a late lunch. Now, I realize the day is even better when you've spent more waking hours in it.

Change #2
I've spent the last few years enjoying all the happiness and pleasures the world has to offer. After the LSE and K-Con, I realize that happiness in the Spirit is sooooo sooooooooo much better!!! I thought I wouldn't be able to give up a certain addiction... but miraculously, I'm not even feeling any urge or desire for it now. Wooooohooooo!!!! I know I still have a long way to go, but God's grace has never failed me so I have no worries for the days ahead :D I know now that nothing compares to the highness in the Spirit :D

Change #3
My passion to write has intensified even more!!! I used to write when I was younger, but that doesn't compare to how I write and what I write about now. It's like a dam of thoughts and emotions has been opened up and the words just flow from the heart to the pen. :D I realize I have a passion after all (I used to think my passion was shopping. It still is, but writing is so much cheaper. Goodness... you should see my credit card bills. I'm feeling the aftershock of the depression. ANYWAY...). I love to write what I think (I love it more than writing Java/JS code). I've finally found my passion :)

Change #4
A few months ago, being sad would mean infinite mood swings, a raised eyebrow, eyebags, and a sour face. Someone I knew used to say to me that happiness is a choice, and I can always control my emotions. I heard what he said, but I realize now that somehow, a part of me didn't believe him. Now, I've proven that happiness is really a matter of choice. You decide to be happy [not despite of or in spite of but] with your problems. Whatever circumstances you're in, you can choose to be happy. Even the heavens decided to be happy for me :D I love you, Papa. Thanks :D Anyway, I've noticed that when you have a happy heart (meaning you're truly happy and not just putting on a show), it will absolutely reflect in your disposition. Ang ganda ko ngayon! Hahahaha :D

These are just some of the changes I've noticed in myself these past few months. I can't list them all down since nobody wants to read a long blog (and this is long enough already). Hehe! I have a disclaimer, though. I write these not to show off what a great person I am (but I really am... haha!), but to be a living example that we can rise from whatever pit we are in. I want to be an inspiration for others that the best is always yet to come and God never fails you :) Heaven and earth will fade, but His words will remain. He can make something BEAUTIFUL out of your life (I'm ready to sing now... hahaha!) :D When you start living by faith, you don't receive a drizzle of blessings. You get a heavy downpour. :D

Superblessed!!!

Week after week after week, I've been feeding my spirit and soul with God's love. Wooooohoooooo!!!! The seed has been planted years and years ago, and after a long period of dryness, it was watered again when I started with the Singles Encounter. Then with the Family Encounter. Then with the Life in the Spirit Experience. Then with the Kerygma Conference. Then with the Katinas concert. I am just outpouring with love and happiness and joy and peace and everything great that I just have to share it with you all. Wooooooooooohoooooot!!!! :) When the time comes that I'll get hurt again, looking back and reading this entry will remind me that the sorrow only lasts for a night and joy comes in the morning :D So many things have changed since October, and I am sooooooo grateful that things happened. Physically, I changed a bit... hehehe :D But the big difference is how changed I am inside.

Over the past weeks, I've learned that everybody encounters trials at several points in their lives, and it breaks them to pieces. I won't even begin to tell you the many ways of how broken I am. Let's skip the drama for the meantime :D I am so overflowing with happiness that I can't subdue myself to talk about sad stuff. :D So going back... EVERYBODY IS BROKEN. Everybody has lost a loved one to death or someone else, everybody got hurt, everybody has hurt someone else, everybody has done something... bad. But, broken as we are, that doesn't give us the license to feel depression and self-pity. Even if God isn't responsible for the situations we're experiencing, He is with us through the experience. When I thought that my world was crashing down, it was in Him that I found comfort and peace. I will go through more pain in my lifetime (I'm betting my friend's paycheck on that), but God is with me through it all and that makes ALL the difference.

Tomorrow will be another day full of God's surprises, and everytime I'll wake up, I'll remember to thank Him for all the great things He has blessed me with. I am super duper excited for this new life I will be living. Miracles are about to happen to me, and I pray that I can be a miracle for someone else, too :D He gives and takes away, but my heart will choose to bless His holy name forever :D Let's live a happy and meaningful life :D Woooooooooot!!!!!