I love the Philippines!

OK.. so remember I was waiting for inspiration to hit me so I can start writing about something else other than stuff concerning fictional characters? Well now.. I'm inspired. Sort of.

Two close friends just left for Singapore last week. Another close friend will be leaving for US in August. A close friend from the office will be leaving for St. Paul on Sunday. Another one will be leaving for Germany this Saturday. And another one will be leaving on the last week of June for another company.

My boyfriend isn't coming back until Christmas. My college bestfriends aren't coming back from Singapore until November next year.

Get the point? Ugh. Too many people leaving at the same time. Too many people not coming back for a long time. My sanity now is precariously hanging on the edge of a cliff. No wonder I find solace in fictional characters.

Is the country becoming so hopeless that people seek greener pastures (read: higher pay) in other countries? My patriotic friend, who makes me feel guilty for working for an American firm, is in Singapore. Haha. Peace, friend :D No.. this really isn't about people leaving because of our lack of patriotism.. I'm just scared to follow them. Haha! Anyway, this blog isn't meant to criticize Filipinos working abroad. In fact, I have high regards for OFWs. Keep the remittances coming! :P I just really wanted to get "it" out of my system. "it" meaning getting left behind.

Thank God for YM and PLDT Budget Cards.

Vampires and Werewolves. Agaaaiiiin.

I've been waiting for inspiration to strike.. and try to write about more pressing issues (like.. global warming!) other than vampires and werewolves.. but my muses have taken a leave. All but one - my muse for Twilight related stuff. Eew. Haha! I just have to admit... I'm addicted. Addicted to the plot, the story, the characters, everything! I realize that others are not really as interested in all this young adult fiction nonsense, so if you're one of them, you can close your browser now :) You've been warned :P

I didn't like New Moon as much as I loved Twilight. The story took a sad turn and there was less Edward-Bella action. Now that I think of it.. that's probably one of the main reasons I wasn't in love with New Moon - there weren't enough hyperventilating moments, less Edward exposure. Nevertheless, Bella's character still fascinates me. It's like, I can sympathize with her. It's creepy, but I can predict her choices before I even read the next lines or turn the page. It's like seeing my thoughts on print. (Weirdo alert!) Actually, it's more of like re-living past memories (past break-ups to be exact). It reminded me of the days when I was holding up the pretense that my world was normal, but the moment I hit the pillows, the sadness took over. Okay, too much info there. But you get the point. I'm a hopeless romantic to the end. And that's what the book was about.

Now Eclipse.. this is definitely better than New Moon. Because there was more Edward in the story. Haha! But seriously, I liked it better because the Edward-Bella relationship has progressed to the next level. It already has a sense of maturity, and it's no longer the high school love team from Twilight that my 13-yr old cousin would have probably related to better. It's rare that you find your one true love (i feel so corny for writing that down and publishing this blog) in high school. I doubt that even happens in real life. But, as a co-Twilight fan and friend has read from Meyer's site: Bella has only fallen in love and it was a very sudden, dramatic, sweep-you-off-your-feet, change-your-world, magical, passionate, all-consuming thing. When that happens to someone, or when you read about that happening to someone (fiction or non-fiction), you can't help but share the feeling right? :) I'm just justifying my emotions here, so spare me :P Plus, I identify with Bella's mantra very well: when torn between two options, choose the one you can't live without.. choose the one you are committing to. It's also in Meyer's site that I read this line that struck a raw nerve... I just agree with it in so many ways: The bottom line is that you have to choose who you are going to commit to—that's the foundation of true love, not a lack of other options.

Gah. So now I have a month and a half before the next and final installment of the series comes out - Breaking Dawn. That's a month and a half for me to focus on ther issues (yey!). A month and a half to ease myself back to reality and face it that I'm not a Cullen after all. :P A month and a half to rest from this Twilight mania that might be getting boring already for my friends :P


P.S.
I was just thinking about it.. A few months from now, when the Twilight mania has subsided, I will really laugh at myself for getting in too deep into this dark romance series. But you know me.. once I get started on an addiction, I follow through (i.e. Backstreet Boys). Ok, too much info again. Haha!

And the lion fell in love with the lamb..

What a stupid lamb!

Is it possible to be so engrossed in a book that you feel the heroine's hyperventilation and pain? Yes. I am beyond crazy about this book.. I'm obsessed. Haha! Meyer's uncanny ability to describe Edward's character (and I should emphasize the way his physical appearance is described) is unbelievable. My mom even commented the same thing. Yes, I influenced my mom to read the book. See the age range this book encompasses? 13-year-old cousin to 50something-year-old mom.

Twilight has nearly everything - drama, romance, suspense, and hot, gorgeous fictional characters. That's what I love about books, really. They take you to a parallel world where hot fictional characters exist and you feel so involved in the story. And sometimes, the real world makes more sense than it did before. And they almost get you convinced that it's not so bad to be bitten by a vampire. Haha!

At first glance, Twilight seems like the typical young adult novel with the normal vampire-human love affair (as if that's really normal). The prey and the predator fall in love. But after reading much further, you realize that it captures the whole essence of love and relationship.. that one is willing to sacrifice for the other and vice versa. Of course, it also helps that Edward Cullen and his family are dazzling.. and hot.. and gorgeous.

As I've posted earlier, a movie adaptation is coming up by next year. I have high expectations for this film because the book set the bar high. I even heard from somewhere (Entertainment Tonight, I think..) that the fan base is even bigger now than Harry Potter. Whoa.

So.. next book on the list: New Moon. Twilight's sequel :D Until then.

Happy Father's Day!

It must be hard for families to celebrate Father's day when the father has already passed away or is in a foreign land trying to meet the needs of his family. But, I think it must be harder for the families whose fathers are around, but aren't really around for the family to appreciate him and give him tribute today. Nevertheless, Happy Father's Day to all the dads :)

Reminiscing Summer

Well, there's not much reminiscing to do really since you can still fry an egg on top of your car outside. It still feels like summer even though we're already midway of June. Two words: global warming. Anyway, that's not what this blog is about. My one and only beach outing this summer was with my family -- off to Boracay.. the staple of every Filipino's summer vacation :P My Auntie (her secretary actually) got a reeeaaaally great package with Patio Pacific and SEAIR. We got a great deal for 3 days 2 nights and loved every minute of it.

The first time I went to Boracay with boyfriend and friends, I demanded that we take the Kalibo flight. I was super scared to ride the small planes which had direct flights to Caticlan. I wanted to come back to work.. alive =)) But since the package was that we fly with seair, I really had no choice. Surprisingly though, the experience with seair was great. The FA was accomodating, seats were good, flight was on time (their 35-minute ad is true), and most of all.. I'm still alive and blogging today. I'll definitely be flying with them again soon... to Palawan perhaps? :)

As for the accomodations.. I have nothing but praises for Patio Pacific!!! The staff were all friendly, rooms were reeeeaaalllly super nice, the bathrooms.. spectacular. Hehe! I'm not really entirely ok with the fact that the hotel was not a beachfront establishment, but hey, I need some exercise from time to time.

And of course, the beach was.. great!!! Nothing feels better than the powdery sand beneath your toes and hearing the sound of the waves. Sigh. Now I don't feel like going back to work next week. Haha! So there, we did the usual Boracay activities - parao sailing, snorkelling, island hopping, hair braids, lounging at Hey Jude, pictures by the sand castles, and the ultimate waste of 230 pesos (in other words, banana boat ride).

This summer vacay was the first time after many years that we went out as a family. So I'm glad we all got to spend bonding time together (LDR has its pros, you know :P) Plus, we have imports from Germany and it wouldn't have been as fun without them.

But now, I'm back to reality. I'm back to emails, studying specs, implementing stuff, etc. Exciting! :D As early as now, we're already planning for the next vacay.. Palawan!!! And I do hope boyfriend will be around this time. There's nothing like de-stressing by the beach and forgetting the real world back in the city. I've never been to Palawan before.. and I would very much like to go there soon. So.. if someone's willing to pay for my airfare and accommodations, you can contact me at... hahaha!

Twilight

waaaaaaah!!!! :D I just couldn't contain all the excitement inside me and I have to let the world know that there's a new movie coming out by end of this year (for US) and beginning of next year (local cinemas)..

I looooove it!!! It's adapted from the book with the same title by Stephenie Meyer, which came out a few years ago. I've been reading it for the past few days to keep my mind off serious stuff (see previous blogs. haha) and it's been a challenge to put the book down so I can get some sleep. To describe it in two words: absolutely addictive. This is lifted from the synopsis printed at the back of the book:

About three things I was absolutely positive.
First, Edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood.
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Teeny-bopper sounding, right? But it's a real pageturner and it's an understatement to say that I can't get enough of Edward. I've been googling images of the cast (mostly of Edward. haha) and bits of info about the movie, and the excitement just continues to build up. See more details at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/ Official movie trailer is also uploaded already at Youtube =))

Personally, I think it would've been better if Chace Crawford (Nate from Gossip Girl) played Edward's character. His eyes are etched in my mind. Now my knees are turning jelly. Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. Now if only all men looked like that.. Sigh. haha! But then, Robert Pattinson (Cedric Diggory from HP) is not really a bad choice either. See for yourself.

Ok.. I have to admit I'm a bit too old to be still interested in these kind of things (and blogging about it! :P). But, as my 13-year-old cousin has pointed out (who by the way introduced the book to me. yes, I'm reading a book referred to me by my 13-year-old cousin), I'm not that old to not appreciate it. haha! At least she knows her euphimisms. The 11-year difference isn't counted as too old for her. I love you Kesh.

So, 7 more months to go before show time and I already made boyfriend promise we'll be watching the movie since I'm expecting him to be back at that time. Coolness!!!! :D

$$$It's all about the money$$$

Is it? It's easy to say yes. After all, who doesn't want money? We live in a culture where success, fame, and power is attributed to the savings you have in the bank and the gadgets you carry with you while strutting down High Street with your latest Blair Waldorf get-up. (For those who don't watch Gossip Girl, google "Blair Waldorf" under Images. See for yourself.) Who doesn't want to have more so you can spend more and have more and spend more all over again?

For the past weeks, I've been swayed by countless opinions and advices on the issue of resignation for a higher pay, better benefits, and company stability. And I think I've been listening to a lot already. At the end of the day, I get confused. My feelings deceive me into thinking I might have made a wrong decision. After my last post, I thought I'd be ok. You know, get it out of my system, move forward and get on with life and work. But... like a plankton, I get swayed by the current. Now you know where I get my blog title from. :P Gas prices are unbelievable, tuition fees got paid, allowances are to be budgeted, bills need to be paid... these are even more respectable reasons (over the need to carry a certain brand of bag while dining in Serendra) why you need more money. But after some think time (and counsel time w/ Mom and Auntie Ann), I realize the values they instilled in me got a little bit wired up. And now they need some detangling.

I'd like to take this time to re-affirm myself that I did not make a wrong decision. Neither choices were wrong anyway. It's just a matter of sticking to your choice and making it right (yes, yes, i already said that before. i'm just re-affirming :P) It's a matter of honoring the commitment I made, the word I gave. It's a matter of ethics and knowing your values. To be honest, I was at the verge of changing my mind.. again. But after tonight, after hearing what everybody has to say (for the LAST time), I now decide to stick to my choice, manage the decision every day, and live with it for the rest of my life. Will that promise me a better future? I don't know. Who knows anyway. But, as I've read and learned before, happines is a choice and I decide to be happy with my choice and my choice is to make my life better. I will come out of this experience with a few cubic centimeters added to my brain and next time, I will have a better reason for leaving. haha! But seriously, this has been a learning experience. As they say.. charge it to experience!!! I can now say that I personally feel that money should never be my driving force. It has to be something deeper than that. I have faith that God will provide. After all, money is just MONEY (Momentarily Owned, Never Eternally Yours --thanks rp).

DISCLAIMER #1:
Don't get me wrong. I still want to strut down High Street with my Blair Waldorf headband and my Aldo shoes and dine at Portico or somewhere with my Kate Spade just because I want those and just because I'm me. I'm not being hypocrital here. hehe :P Wish ko lang.. sana may quarterly bonus this quarter. Sale pa sa ALDO =))

DISCLAIMER #2:
All stuff written here are purely personal opinions and insights and I do not, by any means, wish to offend anyone :) Whatever works for you, right? :)

Spilled Milk

What do you do with spilled milk? Well, after blaming yourself for being so clumsy, you wipe it off and forget about it and consume the rest of your drink. Right?

A few weeks ago, I just had to make one of the toughest decisions in my life that may affect my future career and that's already spilled milk. It's done and I'm supposed to be moving forward. But for some reason, most probably because of my fickleness and not being able to stick to my choices at most times, I'm still wondering about what to do with the puddle of milk before me. Lick it off? Eewy. Put it back into my glass? Even more eewy.

I would like to say that I do not regret the decision, but let's not be hypocrital. There are times when I want to change my mind and take back what I said. But that's too late for that now. But there are times when I feel I didn't lose anything anyway and I'm still in a good position (with a bright future) after all that happened. But whenever I think of the spilled milk.. I feel.. sayang. My friends would slap me back into reality if they could while telling me there's nothing left to do but stick to the choice I made. But I can't help but think of the what-ifs, the what-could-have-beens. How do you not think about those anyway?

Boyfriend shared this thought nugget with me while I was ranting to him about my situation:

In life, we will make some good decisions and some bad ones. But whatever choice we make, God gave us the capability to make it right.

Or something like that. Makes sense right? Galing talaga ni boyfriend :P Only time will tell if I made a good or bad decision. But whatever it will be, I am in the position to make it right now. And I will make it right. I have yet to learn how not to think about the what ifs.. because really, that's all they'll ever be: what ifs. And I will be wasting precious time and effort thinking about it instead of pouring all my energy into making my decision right. So, every morning, I just have to repeat to myself: good or bad, make it right. good or bad, make it right. good or bad, make it right. Until I forget about the what-ifs and learn to appreciate what I have now. Spilled milk is spilled milk. Just wipe it off.

LDR (Long Distance Relationships)

I'm on a roll! First blog posted a few minutes ago and I'm off to writing a new one! I just had to write about this before I forget. I'd like to revisit this entry and remember that everything will be ok.

Yes, my boyfriend is on the other side of the world. And I recently had doubts on our relationship. Don't get me wrong, we're ok. Great actually. But... LDR is LDR. It sucks big time. It's like being single and taken at the same time. You miss the person and there's nothing you can do about it. There are moments when you think it's pointless to stay in the relationship, but then there are moments that you feel it's worth keeping. My friends who've been through an LDR all didn't make it. Not one of them. So I have no one to confide to unless I want to feel worse.

But I have very high hopes for boyfriend and I. For one, he's not staying there for good and will be back in a few years' time. Second, I trust the relationship. I have faith that we've built a strong one before he went away and him being away will make it stronger. Third, I don't believe in promises. Promises are meant to be broken. So, I just trust. Blind and complete trust. He doesn't have to say or promise anything.. I can neither confirm it nor make sure he's telling the truth anyway. So.. I just trust. And I trust him with all my heart. And that's it. Love and trust. Enough to make the stretches of not being together bearable. I have hopes for boyfriend and i. that's all I have anyway.. high hopes.

this is not a diary.

So... I finally have a blog. I've been meaning to put up one for the longest time, but I've always reconsidered. Why? Because I don't want to share intimate thoughts and feelings with total strangers. But then I realized, I didn't have to write about everything for everyone to see :P So, no, this won't be a diary. This will be more of a thinking pad where I can "save" all my thoughts before I forget them and think about other stuff. You don't have to read them. I just want some form of proof to let the world know I exist. I don't make sense, I know. But who cares anyway:)