Nananana nanana nananana nana... So so what!

You know that feeling when you open a box of crayons and the smell of it reminds you of art classes in Grade School and the wars that raged between you and your sister over a coloring book and the work of art (your name in bright red) written on the pristine white walls of your house? Or when you smell a whiff of cologne (Victoria's Secret's Strawberries and Champagne) from someone else, and you remember that you used to wear that too during one of the dances (with your high school sweetheart. hahaha eew) in High School? :P I love that feeling :D It doesn't matter if you'd rather not reminisce that distinct memory attached to it... you'd still end up in fits of giggles after remembering right? I do. Haha! :P

The best thing about these kind of nostalgic attacks is that the trigger of the attack always comes unexpectedly. While flipping through dresses and tops on a rack, the store's background music will suddenly play THAT song and by the time the intro is done and the first lines are being sung, you already have a smile on your face :D You suddenly remember the silly tears you cried, the fake smiles you put on, the mean things you thought of at that time, the touching conversation going on at that distinct moment, and you go on singing along with the chorus. By the time you've made your purchase, the song's stuck in your head.

Anyway, the whole point of this is: At the end of the day (while the song still keeps playing in your head), you are reminded that the past is not so bad after all. You can even smile about it now :D Then you go home and do the laundry and forget about the whole ordeal. A week after, while vacuuming the carpet, the song plays on the shuffle playlist...

Nananana nanana nananana nana...

And now you know what'll happen next :D

Newbie

Everything is new to me, everything is a first-time experience. Most especially my line of work. It's quite a bit of change in perspective, and I've got a whole lot of stuff to learn before I can actually contribute anything substantial to the team. The whole process is extremely challenging, and sometimes I end up thinking if it's worth it. During the meeting this afternoon, however, my bigger boss said something that I will remember for the rest of my life: our job is done when the customers are happy. In other words, we are fulfilled when they are happy. Cliche. Every service-oriented business says that in their ads. But, if you really think it over, it makes life simpler. Simpler is better [product placement. haha!] That, I think, is the essence of our life here on earth. Service. To serve others in every way we can. To be of service to the people we don't even like. To know that you made life easier for someone else.

Easier said than done. I'm still learning the ropes. But, at least I know I'm in the right team now. :D

Geek

Cool. I found this on the Internet.

http://doods.wordpress.com/2007/04/15/new-philnits-certified-it-professionals/

My name's cited there somewhere :P Geek. Haha :D

Just off the the top of my head (part 2)

I was feeling nostalgic (probably because of the silence and the ridiculous temperature here) so I browsed through my old pictures posted in multiply. Ironically, when I thought I hit rock bottom, that was when I had (or probably am having is the correct tense) the best time of my life :P Great times, great conversations, great memories, great vibes :D

So so what!

I'm still a rockstar :D

I got my rock moves!

And I don't need you =))

I wrote in my very first heart-felt (a.k.a. heartbroken) entry that I write to heal. Writing for me is therapy. And I'm getting better and better everyday :) Woot! World peace! :D

January 16

When you get out of your comfort zone, you tend to be emotional and be over-appreciative of the things around you. Which is good. :D

1. Last night, while watching the new season of American Idol, tears fell everytime someone got the yellow ticket. I felt overwhelmed that someone was getting closer to their dream. It felt so... nice :P I cried while they jumped for joy :P Then I'd laugh at myself for crying over AI. Someone's going crazy. =))

2. I'm staying in this great aparment where I have a sunroof in my bedroom. When the sky is clear at night (or early morning), I can see the moon and the stars, and that usually means a sunny day in this dreary place for me. Today, the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes were the stars. And I felt super grateful that God blessed me with great weather on this fantastic day. :D It's gonna be a lovely daaaay :D (I'm slowly picking up the expressions they use here, blimey!)

3. This morning, I got teary eyed again while watching the news about the plane that crash-landed on the Hudson river. I felt it was another manifestation of God's goodness that no one died from the accident. And I felt doubly grateful that I'm not just surviving now, but LIVING.

4. As early as 4pm (12MN manila time) here yesterday, I already received numerous text messages, facebook, multiply, and friendster comments, emails, and YM messages. :D This is the longest birthday celebration ever :D

5. My greatest worry for this trip is spending my birthday alone and there might not be anything special that would happen. But, as it turns out, my counterparts here went the extra mile to ask around and know what makes me smile :P So this morning, when they got to the office, they surprised me with tulips and cake and chocolates and lip gloss :P

6. The greatest worry of other people for me is that the loneliness will add to my "depression". First of all, I'm not depressed. Never was (I think.. haha). Second, I learned it's just a matter of perspective, of how you view the situation. It's easy to pity myself and think that I'm alone and I've got no one to talk to and this place is lonely and dull and gray (It is, believe me). But I'd be spending a considerable amount of time here, and the worst that I could do is waste that time and put myself down. So, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm excited to spend my first weekend here exploring the city and learning how to cook and clean :D I'm stronger than most people think :P

7. Who gets to spend their birthday in UK? ME :D

When you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Count your blessings :)

Life so far

You know you're already quite settled in a new place when you find yourself having a routine. You get up in the morning at 6, do your morning prayers, turn on the speakers at full blast and play whatever's on the ipod playlist, fix the bed, prepare lunch, take a bath, eat breakfast while watching the news, go to work, do work stuff and eat lunch in between, go back home by 5, prepare dinner, watch TV for a while, chat with friends, do a little cleaning here and there, read Revolutionary Road (first book on my list. I have Boy meets Girl next.), fall asleep by 10, then wake up the next morning to repeat the whole cycle. Exciting isn't it? Not :P But I am enjoying and having fun :P This is the first time in my entire existence that I'm all by myself, without Manang or Mom or Kaka or Reyna (peace:P) to take care of things for me.

I needed this. I needed the break from the drama. I needed the pressure of work and the pressure of living alone to divert my attention and contemplate on something worthwhile and meaningful for a change. And so far, the diversion is effective.

I'm now looking forward to my first weekend here. So far, here's my To Do list:

1. Learn how to make hard-boiled eggs
2. Learn how to cook rice (w/o a rice cooker)
3. Do the laundy
4. Vaccuum the flat
5. Do the ironing
6. Research on how to get to the nearest Catholic church.

Sheltered little Meggy is learning real life stuff :P Brilliant! Fantastic! Amazing! :D HAHAHA!

English Spokening

I was in training this afternoon and taking down notes when my trainer suddenly interrupted me and asked why I was writing notes in English. Then I paused and thought... why would I take down notes in Tagalog, especially if the notes where technical? (Well, even if the topic wasn't technical, I still would be writing in English.) So I said that's because I feel more comfortable writing in English. He looked at me wide-eyed and said, "Your English is very impressive. It's really brilliant. Amazing." At this point, I smiled, thanked him, and took pride in myself. Thank you St. Scho for the 11 years of English education.

However, now that I really think about it, I'm not sure anymore if I should be proud that I speak and write better English than Filipino. Although I don't want to pose as a wannabe socialite, that's just really how I am, how I was brought up, and what I'm used to. When I'm drunk, emotionally high, really angry, or really sad, I'd be ranting and raving in English. (Right, friends?:P) Speaking English well has its advantages and has got me to where I am now, so of course I should take pride in that. But not being able to speak and write in my own native language at the same level as I do in English is kind of a shame. Worse, I don't know how to improve on that, or if I should even try.

Being in a foreign country tends to make one become more patriotic. I'm not sure if I'm being patriotic right now. Just being honest, though :P

Movie Marathon

The long flight and the privilege of time has allowed me to catch up on movies I missed last year. So, in a matter of 24 hours, I was able to see Wall-E, What Happens in Vegas, Marie Antoinette, The House Bunny, and 27 Dresses. Now, I feel all giddy and happy despite the fact that I'm alone in a hotel room (with the barren trees swaying outside the window because of the wind) while writing this entry. Feel good movies are the perfect remedies for lonely weekends. They remind you that love never fails :P

P.S.
I cried while watching The House Bunny. I know... weirdo. But I also cried when I watched Benchwarmers, Cars, and Click. Haha! :D

Blooming

Reading today's Gospel reflection reminded me that God is the reason for all the great things happening to me. For the past months, I've been receiving compliments on how I've lost weight and how my aura is different, better. Thank you :P But that's probably just the black top hiding my flabs or the make-up hiding my blemishes :P But really... what's important for me right now is I feel and I know that I'm loved... by God, my family, my friends... and that's what makes me beautiful inside and out.

Waiting Time

Jan 10, 2009 7:56PM Schipol Airport, Amsterdam (Jan 11, 2009 2:56AM Manila)

After a week of stressful packing, I'm finally here waiting for my connecting flight to Manchester... alone. Just a few minutes ago, a friend offered me a hug to compensate for the who-knows-how-long time I'll be spending by myself in a foreign country. He and the rest of the group are probably waiting for their connecting flight to Gothenburg at the other side of the airport as well while trying to stay awake and fight jet lag. Good for them, they have each other to talk to while killing time. I, on the other hand, am seated between a sleeping Korean and a Brit with a beautiful purple coat while checking the signboard and my boarding pass (for the nth time) just to make sure I'm waiting at the right gate.

Right now, everything seems so surreal. -- from the eye candy (men and women clad in coats and boots) to the thousands of miles separating me from home. It feels as though I'm just waiting for my sister to come pick me up anytime soon. Then I remember I'm not at the office when I hear the paging system announce: "Passenger [name here], you are delaying the flight. Please board immediately. We will continue to off load your luggage."

I don't know what to expect from my stay here. Of course, professionally, I know I have to do well. But personally, I don't know yet how I'll be spending my much awaited retreat from my comfort zone. I do have a goal though: by the time I'm back home, I have by then let go of the remaining ropes of past traumatic experiences that I've been clinging to.

2009's First Blessing

In just a few days, I'll be on European soil once again (it sounds as though I'm on it most of the time), and the first week of my new year was spent doing last minute preparations for the trip. Mid last year, I had totally different plans on how to spend my 2009, but it seems that those plans aren't in sync with God's plans for me... so they were scrapped. Just like that :D Apparently, my bosses think I need a change of scenery anyway (and some serious soul-searching) so they decided to ship me off to the other side of the planet... alone. So on top of the pressure of doing a very good job and impressing the local team, I also have to go on this trip by myself. Daunting. (Joke lng po, mga boss. Excited po ako :p)

Nevertheless, this is the best Christmas/birthday gift that God has given me to date. I'm expecting many firsts to happen on this trip, and I can't wait for the life and career lessons I'll be learning along the way. I'll be relying on my currently non-existent navigation skills to get to the office through public transpo (gooood luuuuuck!!!!), doing my own laundry and ironing (I will miss you manang!!!), and cooking my own meals (I will miss you sooo much Dad!!!). Pag balik ko, pwede na ako... maging yaya! =)) For possible employers, please contact my General Manger, my sister. =))

Pray for me, ayt? :)