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The title itself is a turn-off. I wouldn't have picked up this book had I seen it in a book store at a different period in my life. But times have changed. My only regret is that I should've read this sooner than later.
So I kissed dating goodbye. The title is as radical as its contents. While getting my nails done (and I wasn't in the mood to have small talk about Karylle and Marian with the manicurist), I contemplated yet again about my life (note to self: avoid idleness at all costs. bring a book next time). What was I doing?! (Slap on the forehead) The world has its own definition of love -- that passion-filled, sweep-you-off-your-feet, butterflies in your tummy, "haven't felt this way before", "can't stop thinking about you", "can't stop thinking about your smile" kind of feeling. Intense (and beautiful) while it's there, but gone at the blink of an eye. I've seen the "beauty" of this kind of love. But I've also had my fair share of worldly-love inflicted pain. I'm sick and tired of this kind of perspective. Every break-up, whether from a one-week fling or from a serious four-year one, is painful. I don't want it anymore.
Love, in God's definition, is Jesus hanging on the cross. (No, I didn't kiss dating goodbye to become a nun. FYI.) Love is a decision, and not a feeling. It's a decision you stick to no matter the cost. And until I'm ready for that kind of life-long commitment (in other words: marriage... which I'm certainly not ready for right now), I'm lying low from the dating scene. O good Lord, help me. HAHA!
I'm not about to start a debate whether you should quit dating as well. I'm not good at debates (just a good speaker. haha!). DISCLAIMER: I'm not against dating nor people who date. This is just a personal conviction that I'm praying I'll be able to follow through. If you're tired of pointless relationships, if you're in it just for fun, if you're merely looking for someone better and not "the one", grab a copy of the book. Or you can rent mine for a minimal cost :D
You think it's over and done with... but somehow, the knowledge that certain stuff should've happened but never will upsets your whole system. It's kind of like an irritating wart that you try to ignore, but you know it's there and you can feel it. A bump on your otherwise smooth skin.
Don't get me wrong. I'm still enjoying the long break (while it lasts). Christmas was a blast and the parties and dinners and coffee moments are wonderful memories. It's just that... it's hard to explain. I can't say that I'm not affected anymore because I obviously still am. But then again, the whole thing's just like a wart! You won't die because of it, but the fact that IT's there (or here to be technically correct) is... irritating.
I've read somewhere that when a woman is stressed, she either shops or prays. Stressful times like these require His superpowers already, since my credit card is once again nearing its full potential. Let's blame it on the Mango sale.
As the year ends, and my notepad is filled halfway, I am awed by how God has filled my life with people who have shaped my character very well. (Spare me for the sentimental mood, it's Christmas and Christmas does crazy things to people. At least being sentimental makes me happy and not sad :P) Some friends have been there only during the ups, and some have left me for good, but for the points of contact with them in my existence, I am still grateful. When the Lord takes away, he gives back a hundredfold. In my case, he gave back a thousandfold.
Although the new chapter in my life has begun a few months earlier, what better way to celebrate it this Christmas and New Year with people who matter. And I've been celebrating like there's no tomorrow :D A few relationships might have been severed in the past year... but man, I'm having a blast knowing that I have such great friends now.
It's the season to celebrate friendships... and the season to heal relationships. Bottoms up to all my lifesavers (in so many ways :D)!!!
One good measure of how I'm doing is my weight. I'm gaining back the pounds. OHHHH NOOOOESSSS!!!! Now that I'm doing very well, I'm enjoying food again. HAHAHA! And trying to cut back on eating and drinking during this season is terribly hard. All the parties and gimmicks and nights out and coffee sessions equal more calories.
I definitely don't want the depression again, but I want the weight that comes with it. So I'll have to figure out a way how to not eat and stay full and happy =))
P.S. (Not related to blog title)
I probably might be on hiatus as well from the writing. My social calendar is extremely jam-packed with shopping and meet-ups and parties that I barely have time to sleep. Good for me, right? :D I got what I prayed for.. a very very busy December :D
Have a blessed Christmas everyone! And while I'm at it already, I'll use this opportunity to remind you that amidst the merriness and busy-ness of the season, let's not forget that the real reason for Christmas is... Someone DECIDED to love us. :D
I just wanted to share with everyone a text lifted from a book I'm currently reading. When I'm done with the whole book, I promise to write about it. I'm not even halfway, but my views and thoughts on love and relationships have radically changed already. How I wish I read this way before. I could've spared myself from all the hurt and disappointments. But then again, God has His own purposes and plans. He makes all things beautiful, in His time... and I'm on my way to being Ms. Universe :D
"...love is under our control. He chose to love us. He chose to lay down His life for us. The danger of believing that you "fall in love" is that it also means you can "fall out of love" just as unexpectedly. Aren't you glad God's love for us isn't as unpredictable? Aren't you thankful that God's love is under His control and not based on whim? We need to throw out the misconception that love is some strange "force" that tosses us around against our will like leaves in the wind. We cannot justify doing what is wrong by saying that love grabbed hold of us and "made" us behave irresponsibly. That's not love. Instead, it's what the Bible calls in 1 Thessalonians 4:5 "passionate lust". We express true love in obedience to God and service to others -- not reckless or selfish behavior -- and we choose these behaviors." --Joshua Harris
Amen.
I was preparing my list of gifts to give to friends (I will be on a shopping spree tomorrow. holiday! yey!) when I thought it would be so much easier if I knew what people wanted in the first place. So this year, I am assuming my friends and relatives are having a hard time thinking of what to get me as well.Thus, I will be saving you, my friends, from the burden of thinking of what to get me for Christmas. Let's make each others' lives easier. HAHA!
1. Body Shop Brilliance Powder (bronze) Every time I hit the malls and see the store, I try the tester but never actually buy it. Too expensive for me. Haha! But of course, it's the season of giving and I'm very much willing to receive this anytime.
2. Body Shop Shimmer Waves Same as explanation above. :D
3. Face Shop Baked Eyeshadow I already have the silver/black shade and it works wonders. You can try it for yourself too. The Face Shop is actually a cheaper alternative to Body Shop. But I usually just pass by their store in High Street because once I go in, I know I can't leave empty-handed. Not good for my saving attempts. :D
4. Magic Wallet Everybody seems to have gotten this as a present, but nobody ever got one for me. Haha! I have a fetish for huuuge wallets where you can store anything and everything, but of course it isn't practical when going on a night-out with the girls and all I'm willing to carry is that cute clutch where my phone won't even fit :P
5. GC to ANY bookstore I am a voracious reader. So I won't mind if you're giving me gift certificates to NB, Fully Booked, or A Different Bookstore. Tip: books are cheaper at NB (National Bookstore) but it doesn't usually carry the rare and hard-to-find books that are sold in Fully Booked and A Different Bookstore. But still, GCs from any bookstore will still be GREATLY appreciated. :D
6. BOOKS!!! If you're not the type who gives GCs, then a book will do :D I'm into vampires (HAHAHA!), self-help, Christian living, inspirational, and fiction that uplifts the soul. NO sci-fi, mystery, thriller, or horror please :P
7. Reading light I saw an inexpensive one at Fully Booked, Rockwell (hint hint). I usually read before I sleep and when the lights are out (I share a room with my sister, it's more fun [and cheaper] that way :P), I use my phone's flashlight for reading :P Kawawa naman. HAHA!
8. Notepad Not only am I a voracious reader, but I'm a writer as well. :D I have a small notepad that I bring with me EVERYWHERE (even on night-outs with the girls :P) so whenever a random thought pops up, I can write it down immediately. FYI: Most of the entries here are written first in my notepad. Although, not all of the entries in the notepad are uploaded here. Too personal :D
9. Travelling stuff I travel for work (rarely for leisure :P) and Make Room has all these thingys and gadgets that are useful for "travellers". I never bought one for myself, though, since I thought someone is bound to give those as Christmas/birthday gifts. HAHAHA :D
10. IPHONE A girl can dream :D
11. ANY Katinas album (except Lifestyle: A Worship Experience) Praise music has never sounded soooo great :D Rock and Soul :D If you're going to get me one, I suggest you burn yourself a copy, too :D
If you're not getting me any of these, that doesn't make you less of a friend. Just treat me to dinner or coffee, sagot ko ang kwento. If you're on a budget, then don't treat me, KKB na lang :D But, I'm treating you to bear hugs if you are getting me presents :D HAHAHA!
In one of the talks Bo Sanchez gave during the Kerygma Conference, he said to never be afraid to ask. Of course, in the context in which he gave his talk, he was referring to asking for blessings from the Lord... that you should never settle for what is NOT best for you and to always ask as if you're expecting to get. But, I think that applies to human relationships as well :D People will never know what you want nor what you expect from them if you do not verbalize it. Ask and you shall receive, right? :D
This one's a delicate topic, and I'm thankful that Bo (we're tight :P) wrote a piece on it. I have nothing else to add so click away
This is a bold move I'm going to make, but I'm making it anyway.
Let's set the bar high. I am committing to the yoke of purity. Period. No erase.
The title itself is a turn-off. I wouldn't have picked up this book had I seen it in a book store at a different period in my life. But times have changed. My only regret is that I should've read this sooner than later.
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