Proper moviehouse decorum

I don't usually rant about the small stuff, but there seems to be little literature about the subject above that I felt the need to write about the basics regarding it. I know at least one of you reading my blogs have probably experienced this: you pay a considerably big amount of money to see the movie you'll know everyone's going to talk about at a theatre where people will most probably behave properly. I don't want to seem condescending or derogatory, but come on. Let's be honest. There's a reason why you're willing to pay more for a movie you can watch a year after on HBO right? Not only because you're a fan of the book the movie is based on, but because you also want the experience to be almost perfect: great sound system, comfy seats, enough leg room, etc. But apparently, you don't always get what you pay for. So for those who still quite lack the basics on how to behave properly when inside a public movie house, please... indulge yourself. So everybody can get their money's worth.

1. When the movie starts, please please please stop talking. Why? Because other people are actually watching the movie with you. Because it's a public place. Because they also paid to watch the movie in peace. I don't care if you share with the whole world your life story while the trailers are still running. But when the movie begins, you MUST stop talking. Or at least lower down your voice at a level where only the person you're talking to hears it. Because others paid to listen to the movie they're watching, not you.

2. As much as possible, avoid kicking the seat in front of you. Sometimes, when we change positions while watching a long-running movie, it's inevitable to accidentally kick the seat in front of you. You know what I mean? In case you do, say sorry. However, it does get irritating when you hit the seat in front of you everytime you change the position of your legs. Especially when there's enough leg room. Others paid for that luxury too.

3. (Related to number 2) NEVER put your feet up on the seat in front of you. No explanation needed.

4. When it's inappropriate to laugh, don't. When someone dies in the movie, or when someone gets hurt, or when someone's crying in the scene, please don't laugh. Even if you and your friend were whispering about something privately hilarious, please consider doing it at another time (say.. after the movie maybe?). It ruins everybody's moment. Remember, you're in a public place. Talk about private things later.

5. If you've seen the movie before, please don't talk about what's going to happen next. Others also paid to watch the movie and they're expecting to get surprised, thrilled, excited, etc. It's part of their stress-relieving regimen. Again, please don't ruin the moment and take away the element of surprise the scriptwriters have prepared for everybody who wants to watch the film. However, if your friend is unlike the majority who wants to know in advance, please make sure s/he's the only one who can hear it. You're not sure if the other person near you wants to hear it, too, so let's be on the safe side.

6. Be careful about what you say when speaking in your native dialect. This is not actually explicitly related to the subject at hand, but it does concern proper decorum still. Always bear in mind that you and your friend are not the only person who can speak/understand Bisaya, Ilocano, Batangenyo, etc. Some people in Manila can understand native dialects, too. Their parents are probably from the province, and they were trained since childhood to understand the dialect. So if you're planning on maligning other people but don't really want them to know that you are, I suggest not to use your native dialect. Consider some other code you and your friend can come up with. Or better yet, be nice. If you don't have anything intelligent to say, keep your mouth shut.

So there. The list above is not really comprehensive, but I think it covers the basics. Please take your time to read, digest, and understand. Let's all make the world a better place to live in. Thank you.