thoughts from a fickle mind.

Flatline

2011-05-19T23:08:00.003+08:00

We all have those phases when days and weeks pass, and we feel as if we just slept through it. You're not sad. Not depressed. Happy, but not on fire. Just... Flatlined.

I've been praying for a spike. Not enough is happening. The words are not even flowing as freely as before.

But tonight, it was like taking the shower early in the morning, and once the water hits you you're suddenly wide awake because you forgot to turn the heater on. The last song sung tonight:

You are my glorious prize Father
You are the passion that fills my life
My treasure of treasures
A wealth without measure to me
And you'll always be the prize of my life.

...To hear your voice, to know Your heart
Is my burning desire

The heartbeat's back.

Stiff-necked

2011-05-16T22:44:00.005+08:00

Having a stiff neck is a very irritating feeling. Crossing the street becomes a deadlier task (it's already a deadly task in Manila) because just to make sure you don't get hit by our friendly and law-abiding jeepney drivers, you have to twist your whole torso to the left or to the right. Worse, picture-taking becomes a torturing ordeal as you try to painfully pose in "your" angle. While smiling and enduring the pain, you imagine whacking yourself on the head for sleeping in the same position the whole night.

Yet, most of us don't realize there's a worse (probably the worst) kind of stiff-neck than the physical stiff-neck -- the "spiritual" stiff-neck. We do the same things over and over again: we lie, we cheat, we steal, we live for ourselves, we live as if there are no eternal consequences to our present actions, and we refuse to be corrected. We've become so used to our way of living that we become stiff-necked people and resist any attempts to revert to how God has originally designed our lives to be.

Eventually, we'll feel the highest point of the pain. The sad part is some of us have become immune to their own vileness that it has become normal to them. And they choose to live with it. And they'll never know the peace, the joy, the satisfaction, the comfort and the real freedom that comes with living the way God has planned for lives.

Don't be stiff-necked people. Acts 7:51.

No to Dieting!

2011-05-10T21:53:00.006+08:00

I have always been conscious of my weight. Since I was born with big bones (:D), I have to compensate by eating less (and skipping meals) so that I'll fit in the clothes I stored in the closet (because I just KNOW I'll lose weight soon. Very soon.).

Yet, I noticed that the more I deprived myself of food that I love, the more I craved. And the more that I ended up eating more portions than I should.

"Don't waste your energy striving for perishable food... Work for the food that sticks with you, food that nourishes your lasting life, food the Son of Man provides."

--John 6:27

This has led me to realize that depriving myself of God's Word has the same effect. I become more prone to doing things I shouldn't be doing. "Dieting" from Scripture, from prayer, from quiet time, from good soulfood, makes me crave for all the wrong things. And when I'm famished, my life enters the lull and dull phase... the dry spells... the times when I almost always go back to my favorite sins.

Man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes forth from the mouth of God. Everyday, we have to fill our spirits with God's sustenance so we crave for the right things, so we overflow with the right love. We do not live and eat just to fit in the latest trends, but to conform to His will and ways. When it's God's Word, wala dapat diet-diet.

Eat. Pray to the One True God. Love. :)

!Hola!

2011-05-03T21:39:00.006+08:00

Hey hey hey!

So is this site collecting dust or what?! I know I always say I'll write more often, but it never really happens. Like when I say I'll meet up with friends more often, run more often, read more often, sleep earlier more often... they never really happen (Isn't it cool when your words rhyme even though you didn't really mean it to?). Too much work, hair just got straightened (so you can't tie it up in a pony for a month... so you can't run because who runs with their hair all over their face, right?!), too much work, too many things to do... So you end up postponing important things. There's always tomorrow, next week, next month anyway, right?

Wrong.

People don't always wake up the next morning. They sometimes die in their sleep.

People can't always run (or even walk) the next day. They sometimes slip over a banana peel and break a leg.

People don't always meet up with dear family and friends on a whim. They sometimes migrate to a different country (or worse, they're the ones who don't wake up in the morning).

It's morbid, but it is what it is.

So do what you love to do, every minute, every hour, every day. Write even when you're not emotional. Drink and eat and talk with family and friends even if your clients are hounding you like dogs. Sleep when you can, even if there's a Mara Clara marathon on TV. When you're old and sitting in a rocking chair watching the sunset while your grand children are playing in your lawn, you'll know you did the right thing by prioritizing the things and people you love most over the things you just like.

Injured

2010-08-07T15:36:00.002+08:00

Six months after I joined the running bandwagon, I finally get my first taste of real injury. Literally after finishing the 10k of Takbo.ph Runfest 2010, I felt pain on my right foot. I thought they were just the normal cramps, so I drank as much Gatorade and Powerade as my stomach can consume (and really felt bloated after). At home, I did the first-aid treatment my personal doctor (a.k.a. Franco Cortez) recommended, which was to roll my foot over a bottle of ice. However, the pain really didn't go away. It was soooo hard to walk. I was walking on tip-toe on my right foot for a few days. Getting up in the morning was a challenge, too, since my right foot was sooo stiff and painful. But, I still didn't learn my lesson. One week after Takbo.ph, I ran again for 10k at the Rexona Run. Hay nako! 2km into the race, I couldn't run anymore.

I finally had my foot checked up by a rehab doctor, and it felt like going into the Principal's office. Doc literally scolded me for running 10k without training and running 10k again on an injury. She said I had to respect the pain. Scary si Doc.. Principal's office talaga.

Turns out, I have plantar fasciitis on my right foot. My leg and foot muscles weren't strong enough to handle the distance I ran. I'm currently going through a series of physical therapy to help relieve the pain so I could get back to running. Doctor's recommendation: no running for two whole weeks while on PT. :( My PT also mentioned to avoid using flat shoes all the time, especially those without arch support. Walking in heels actually helps relieve the pain from plantar fasciitis (but gives you a different kind of pain on your toes hahaha). She noticed that my arch "falls" when my foot is flat on the ground (in other words: I seem to have an arch when my foot is off the ground, but it becomes flat when it's on the ground). Thus, as much as possible, I have to wear shoes that support my "fallen" arch.

Lesson learned, therefore, is to train properly for each running event. Especially when you're running the longer distances. You can probably handle the endurance required for the distance, but your muscles will suffer and will be very prone to injury.

Looking at the bright side, however, I got an excuse for my most recent purchase. I got FitFlops! I think that was what my PT was subtly telling me... HAHAHA :D Check this out:

The common flip-flop actually accentuates pronation, the rolling in of your feet which causes fatigue and biomechanical stress in your feet and lower legs. This can lead to overuse injuries like plantar fasciitis and posterior tibial tendonitis which are commonly known as "arch fatigue" or "fallen arches".

The "FitFlop" is engineered much like a "barefoot technology" shoe. It makes the muscles that stabilize the foot work harder, and over a period of time can actually strengthen your feet. FitFlops have a thick midsole, which encourages wearers to use feet and leg muscles more efficiently while walking. Research conducted by the manufacturer has shown that this thick midsole works the gluteals, hamstrings, thighs, and calf muscles more.

Talk about effective marketing! HAHA :) These sandals are not cheap at all, so they better work like what they advertised.

Stay safe everyone! :)

WHOA

2010-08-07T15:16:00.004+08:00

I MISS WRITING!!!!

It has been an eternity since I tapped sense here in my blog! Even though I'm proud to say a lot has happened in the last few months, it's kind of sad that I wasn't able to document it for future entertainment. And now that I'm home alone, sick and nursing an injury (more on that later), well, maybe it's time to wipe away the dust and the cobwebs and get back to usual business. :p

Only a handful of people probably know this blog exists, and probably only my closest friends (are forced to) read what I have to say, but I've proven that there's always a nice fuzzy feeling every time you read pieces of your mind (especially those you wrote ages ago). You realize how much you've grown (or how you're still stuck in the same place), how much things have changed (or how they still seem the same), and how silly the things you thought would tear your world apart (or how they really tore your world apart).

Reading and Writing have always been my avenue of escape from the craziness of the world. In fact, they're also my best subjects when I was in Grade School! :) This time, I hope I get the time (and the discipline) to update my space and do what I'm really good at.. read and write :)

Sikat

2010-04-15T11:29:00.004+08:00

It's not everyday that I get featured at one of the country's top blogs, so I guess I have bragging rights for appearing in OAP :)

My entry didn't make it to top 3, so I didn't win a moleskin. I'll just have to try again next time. And do a mega-pose at Mt. Pulag.

For Catholics.

2010-04-04T15:12:00.003+08:00

His name has become a household name. A curse word. An expression you say when you get surprised, or when you get mad.

The week to celebrate His Passion has become just a "long weekend" for us. To celebrate his death anniversary, we go to the beach and frolic in the sun.

Becoming a proper Catholic means giving up something we enjoy for 40 days... "something" being Coke, coffee, chocolates, criticizing other people's clothes and makeup, and then resume the habit after Easter. A proper Catholic means attending all the Holy week activities, going to Easter vigils, and then fall asleep during the homily.

Have you ever experienced hitting your elbow on the edge of a chair and you feel that sharp pain shoot across your forearms? Magnify that pain a million times. That's how it feels to have your wrist nailed to a cross. Imagine that searing pain on all your limbs. Not to mention the fact that you're extremely dehydrated, weak from all the blood loss, and whatever movement you make sends all kinds of pain throughout your body that you don't know anymore which is the most painful.

Now, here's the thing. Jesus knew He was going to die. He knew He will be crucified -- the death penalty reserved for the lowest of the low that the Romans even spared their own citizens from enduring such a mortifying death. Jesus was agonizing in the garden, sweating blood, because He knew what was going to happen. The word "agony" was even invented just to attempt to describe what Jesus went through. I don't know about you but I don't think I'm willing to suffer death by crucifixion just so a stranger can be saved from eternal damnation.

Thank God I'm not God. And thank God that He knows me, and He loves me, and He went through all the unimaginable shame and pain to pay a debt I can't pay by myself no matter how long I worked or how hard I tried.

He paid for you, too. He knows you, He loves you, and He went through unimaginable shame and pain, for you, too.

It's never too late to come back. It's never too late to believe. Every week can be Holy Week, every Friday can be Good Friday, and everyday can be Resurrection Day. It's never too late to celebrate the real meaning, the essence, of the Passion of Christ.

Let's all live a life that's worthy of the sacrifice He made. Happy Easter! :)

Running w/ the Stars

2010-02-23T19:17:00.008+08:00

So how does it feel like running with Derek Ramsay and Maricar Reyes?

I don't know. I never saw them. In fact, I didn't feel their presence at all.

But I ran the 3k distance at the Century Tuna Superbod Run and it felt daaaaamn goooood!!!! :D I've had less than 5 hours of sleep that night, since I had to wake up at 4am to be at BHS at 5am. Franco, mom, Cody (our shih tzu), and I made it just in time to park right beside Carlos Agassi. The place was packed. Had we been a minute late, we wouldn't have had any parking space at all. People were already doing warm-up runs/walks all around the place, stretching on lamp posts, and taking pictures (of themselves). As if it were 8 in the evening and a concert was about to take place. Everybody's running these days! (Well, at least it's a healthier and more wholesome alternative to clubbing.) :P

The event was impressive for a first-timer like me. Everything was organized (at least from my perspective). It was impossible not to feel the energy emanating from everybody. Adrenaline made up for my lack of sleep. As soon as the emcee shouted GO!, I couldn't stop running! Maybe because of the thought that it was embarrassing to walk while everyone else was still running. Or maybe because I didn't want to be the last one to arrive at the finish line. Or maybe it was just pure adrenaline pumping on my veins. So, I just kept going until my lungs couldn't take it anymore. Of course I had to stop at every water station (there were only two of them for the 3k route anyway :P). Male Brazilian models were handing out Gatorade. How can I not get thirsty? :P

I finished the run at a decent time -- 30 mins. Derek finished his 3k route at 27 mins, Maricar finished hers in 17 mins. (Yeah, we're on first-name basis.) I would have loved to gloat over the fact that Derek was only 3 mins. ahead of me, but I just learned he had an operation on his knee or ankle or somewhere else. So, let's cut the guy some slack. The fastest female 3k runner finished at 11 mins. (No, I have no plans on beating her time.), and the "slowest" female 3k runner finished at 3 hours (She must have ran a different route? haha :P). So, 30 mins. isn't that bad at all, right? HAHAHA!

Kudos to the runner who almost fainted on her first attempt at running, but finished her first 3k race with style. Special thanks goes out to Franco who convinced me to live a healthier lifestyle. I love you! :) See you at the next finish line! :D

Moments of clarity

2010-02-16T14:25:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, I just can't see the point why I'm here. I can't see the big picture. I desperately want to have a glimpse of the future just so I can be confident that I'm really meant to be here at this place at this precise point in time. I ask for signs, for confirmation, that there's a deeper reason why I'm here, even if I personally think it's a waste of time. I try to dig my own tunnel and find ways to escape but always seem to crawl into dead ends. I pray that He grants my requests, that He gives me what I've been asking for. After all, He was the one who said to "ask" and "you shall receive", right?

However, James 4:3 says "When you pray for things, you don't get them because you want them for the wrong reason-for your own pleasure." And to drill the message deeper into my heart, he adds in 1 John 5:14 "This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us" Ok fine :P If God could, he would've whacked my head already for being so stubborn.

Patience has never been my best asset. In fact, it's my least practiced virtue in life. I don't like the waiting, the anxiety of not knowing what's going to happen and when it's going to happen if it's going to happen. But after much thought, after much prayer, after much Bible studies and devotion time, after much consulting with more mature people, I've realized God's message is very simple.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. - Proverbs 3: 5-6

I don't know which Bible version these verses were taken from, but I'm sure this is the best translation yet. I'm declaring that God's will will prevail in my life. And that is my moment of clarity.

See you at the finish line!

2010-02-11T15:39:00.006+08:00

Helloooooo!

Right, I still have a blog! Yes, I still exist. Yes, I'm still alive.

Amidst the idleness and the boredom, I found a new way to feel alive. That is.. to run. Run in circles and sweat it out. If I can't pour out the energy at work, I can at least divert it to some other activity in life.

Yes, be surprised. The closest thing I have to "exercise" is [window] shopping and getting something in my room upstairs (which of course entails going up the stairs and going back down to where I came from). But now... I'm able to run for 5 minutes straight, and get my shirt drenched with sweat. Really, that's a HUGE achievement for someone who *almost* fainted after running for 30 seconds. I had to lie down at BHS's steps to get my head cleared up again. Beads of sweat didn't even form in my forehead during the first time I ran. Go, you can clap for me now :) Thank you! :)

Now I realized... I defied my own limits. I broke the barriers I planted around myself. I broke the routines I established. So whoever said boredom kills? In my personal opinion, boredom is the gateway to bigger, better, healthier opportunities.

Yes, relating mundane things with life's bigger realizations is a staple of this blog.

I Want to Win a Free Boracay Package!!! :p

2010-01-08T13:51:00.001+08:00

Win a Free Boracay Vacation Package by WOW Philippines Travel Agency
WOW Philippines Travel Agency, Inc. is celebrating it's 5th year in business during July of 2010, and we would like you to have a chance to celebrate with us, so we have decided to give-away a FREE Boracay Package complete with 5 Star accommodations at the luxurious Le Soleil de Boracay Hotel on Boracay Island. The lucky winner will win the following Boracay vacation package.
Vacation Package Inclusions:
- 5 Days / 4 Nights Luxury 5 Star Accommodations at the Le Soleil de Boracay Hotel

- Flights to Boracay from Manila to Caticlan Airport on Philippine Airlines

- Island Transfers - Door-to-Door from Manila to the resort and back to Manila Domestic Airport

- Three (3) Meals each day, Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner

- Boracay Activities - Horseback Riding, Island Hopping, Glass Bottom Boat

- PLUS - 5,000 peso Spending Cash

Read More Information: http://www.boracay-packages.com

For the atheist

2009-11-01T23:02:00.005+08:00

I rarely write book reviews since I find it redundant with the synopses and praises found on book covers. Nor do I openly challenge people who don't believe in God in a debate about His existence for fear that I might end up being the one converted to atheism. But, after reading Lee Strobel's Case for Christ, I felt compelled and inspired to do so.

Written from the point of view of an atheist, the book courageously questions the foundations of Christianity. Does God exist? Is Jesus really the Son of God? Is the Bible really written by inspired individuals or is just fanfiction of ancient times? Did Jesus really resurrect from the dead? Was Jesus crazy (in the real sense of the word) when He claimed to be the Messiah prophesied from the Old Testament? These are just some of the questions answered by scholars, historians, theologians, and other experts interviewed in the book. And their answers are based on facts backed up by solid evidence.

So, for the atheist (and for those skeptical about the Christian faith or those who are dabbling with New Age or other religions), I challenge you to pick up the book and investigate the Case for Christ yourself. You've got nothing to lose, anyway (just 300pesos if you're buying the book from NB). But you've got a whole lot to gain. If you examine the claims of Christ critically, but with an open mind, you'll find that there's more than enough evidence to believe it.

As for me, I agree with the author that: with the amount of evidence available for the case for Christ, it would take more faith to maintain atheism than to trust Jesus of Nazareth. Are you up to the challenge? :P

Ondoy

2009-09-28T12:55:00.007+08:00

I underestimated Typhoon Ondoy. The news said it was to going to be Signal #1. Perfect weather for coffee and a thick book. Wrong. I overslept last Saturday morning and woke up lunch time, with rain drizzling on my face (rain was already coming in through the windows), confused. It felt like 4am. Outside the house, the flood was already knee-high and was starting to reach our garage. Our street never gets flooded, until Typhoon Ondoy.

We lost electricity a few hours later, and our only source of news was a battery-operated radio. Flood water was already inside the house. It was devastating to hear soooo many people stranded on rooftops with no food and water, waiting for rescue that came almost 24hours later. As usual, we had shortage of everything. Not enough rubber boats, not enough evacuation centers, not enough people to help in the rescue operations, not enough everything. (But apparently, GMA had enough money for the Le Cirque buffet. Imagine if that money was used for Pinas' emergency funds instead. Oh well, we can only imagine na lang.) And I can only cry and pray while accounting for all my friends who might have been affected by the typhoon's havoc. Thank God, they were all spared. Some were bruised, hungry for a long time, all their material possessions gone, but still alive and spared.

Now, several hours after the height of Ondoy's devastation, evacuees are still in need of ready-to-eat food, water, and clothers. And I intend to help in whatever way I can. And inspite of all the destruction around me, I am still grateful that my family and friends were spared, our house and car and everything in it were spared, and a lot of people are donating and volunteering to help. The government hasn't really done much (as well as most of the presidentiables and those running for office this coming elections. Where are they?!), but you and I are perfectly capable to help to the best of our abilities. Click HERE to learn how.

On a lighter note, this is our dog who took a bath yesterday since he went swimming... in flood water the night before :|

P.S. As of writing >> The NDCC also said that 5,146 people have been rescued in areas hit by the storm that has affected 337,216 persons.

FACT: Hurricane Katrina rainfall = 380mm in Louisiana. Typhoon Ondoy rainfall = 410mm in Manila, Philippines.

MIBF 2009

2009-09-19T22:03:00.019+08:00

Hola! Long time no write (thanks to Grey's Anatomy marathons and Gone With the Wind book breaks)! :P

As you may have noticed, my writing is usually provoked by strong emotional encounters. So, I guess spending a day in Heaven requires a new post in my very quiet blog :D

Today is the 2nd to the last day of this year's Manila International Book Fair held at SMX Convention Center. And to all bibliophiles like me, this simply means... Heaven :D Rows and rows of books, book accessories, food, coffee, and books... all on SALE. The minute Ate Nette (a fellow book lover, coffee lover, froyo lover, conversations lover, God lover, oh we so love so many same things it scares me sometimes. Anyway :P) and I stepped inside SMX, we didn't know where to start. We were like kids set loose in a toy store.

After hours of shopping for great bargains (and the mandatory coffee break with yummy churros), we literally didn't have any money left that I had to use my credit card for my last purchase (EPS wasn't working grr and Ate Nette didn't have money left either). Our feet were on auto-pilot mode already and our arms got more muscle now than it did yesterday from carrying all the books we bought. But, at the end of the day, we were still sooo happy with all our new toys that the shoulder pains and tired feet were negligible :D

Here are the goodies I got:
Saving The World by Julia Alvarez
Original Price: Php670
Sale Price: Php250
Bought from: A Different Bookstore

The Secrets of a Fire King by Kim Edwards
Original Price: Php620
Sale Price: Php250
Bought from: A Different Bookstore

White Tiger by Aravind Adiga
Original Price: Php299
Sale Price: Php240
Bought from: National Bookstore

The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel
Original Price: Php300
Sale Price: Php240
Bought from: OMF Literature

The Seven Rules of Success by Wayne Cordeiro
Original Price: Php195
Sale Price: Php156
Bought from: OMF Literature

Your Passport to Heaven by Randy Alcorn
Original Price: Php20
Sale Price: Php16
Bought from: OMF Literature

And the best find of the day is:

a Personalized Handcrafted PURE LEATHER Book Jacket!!!!

Now, I don't have to worry about ruining the edges of my books when stashing them in my bag :D And the smell... Leather smells sooo good!!! HAHA :D Reading has never been this so Elle-Woods-classy :D

Original Price (in bookstores): Php750+ (and you can't have it personalized)
Exhibit Price: Php570 + Php40 for my name stamped on the front flap (Php5/letter)

Things to remember when I visit MIBF next year:
1. Go on the first day. Be first to get all the good finds. Only National Bookstore restocks.
2. If I can't go on the first day, go in the morning. Lines are longer in the afternoon.
3. Bring a reusable bag (or a small trolley) to put all my goodies in. It makes shopping easier.
4. Check out A Different Bookstore first. All the good rare books are there with big discounts. Books are sold for as low as Php120.
5. Bring cash. There were no ATMs inside SMX and most of the exhibitors don't have EPS or don't accept credit cards.
6. Go with a fellow bibliophile. Other friends might not appreciate the fact that you'll spend at least 4-5 hours shopping for books.

Can't wait for next year!!! :D

Momentary lapses of judgement

2009-07-27T12:25:00.001+08:00

Love means never having to say you're sorry. But sometimes, the stupidity of the human race gets to you and you find yourself wishing you just kept your mouth shut. It's easy to pass judgement on others but when it's your turn to look back on your stupidity, then you finally understand.

Momentary lapses of judgement.
Acting before thinking.
Small tactless comments that seem cute at the moment, but cause unwanted ripples afterwards.

The stupidity of the human race.

Love means never having to say you're sorry. But on the few occassions that you slip, the best thing to do is to suck it in and apologize and rely on the thought that love also means to unceasingly forgive.

*I feel like Meredith Grey voicing over an episode of Grey's Anatomy*

Proper moviehouse decorum

2009-07-19T02:29:00.004+08:00

I don't usually rant about the small stuff, but there seems to be little literature about the subject above that I felt the need to write about the basics regarding it. I know at least one of you reading my blogs have probably experienced this: you pay a considerably big amount of money to see the movie you'll know everyone's going to talk about at a theatre where people will most probably behave properly. I don't want to seem condescending or derogatory, but come on. Let's be honest. There's a reason why you're willing to pay more for a movie you can watch a year after on HBO right? Not only because you're a fan of the book the movie is based on, but because you also want the experience to be almost perfect: great sound system, comfy seats, enough leg room, etc. But apparently, you don't always get what you pay for. So for those who still quite lack the basics on how to behave properly when inside a public movie house, please... indulge yourself. So everybody can get their money's worth.

1. When the movie starts, please please please stop talking. Why? Because other people are actually watching the movie with you. Because it's a public place. Because they also paid to watch the movie in peace. I don't care if you share with the whole world your life story while the trailers are still running. But when the movie begins, you MUST stop talking. Or at least lower down your voice at a level where only the person you're talking to hears it. Because others paid to listen to the movie they're watching, not you.

2. As much as possible, avoid kicking the seat in front of you. Sometimes, when we change positions while watching a long-running movie, it's inevitable to accidentally kick the seat in front of you. You know what I mean? In case you do, say sorry. However, it does get irritating when you hit the seat in front of you everytime you change the position of your legs. Especially when there's enough leg room. Others paid for that luxury too.

3. (Related to number 2) NEVER put your feet up on the seat in front of you. No explanation needed.

4. When it's inappropriate to laugh, don't. When someone dies in the movie, or when someone gets hurt, or when someone's crying in the scene, please don't laugh. Even if you and your friend were whispering about something privately hilarious, please consider doing it at another time (say.. after the movie maybe?). It ruins everybody's moment. Remember, you're in a public place. Talk about private things later.

5. If you've seen the movie before, please don't talk about what's going to happen next. Others also paid to watch the movie and they're expecting to get surprised, thrilled, excited, etc. It's part of their stress-relieving regimen. Again, please don't ruin the moment and take away the element of surprise the scriptwriters have prepared for everybody who wants to watch the film. However, if your friend is unlike the majority who wants to know in advance, please make sure s/he's the only one who can hear it. You're not sure if the other person near you wants to hear it, too, so let's be on the safe side.

6. Be careful about what you say when speaking in your native dialect. This is not actually explicitly related to the subject at hand, but it does concern proper decorum still. Always bear in mind that you and your friend are not the only person who can speak/understand Bisaya, Ilocano, Batangenyo, etc. Some people in Manila can understand native dialects, too. Their parents are probably from the province, and they were trained since childhood to understand the dialect. So if you're planning on maligning other people but don't really want them to know that you are, I suggest not to use your native dialect. Consider some other code you and your friend can come up with. Or better yet, be nice. If you don't have anything intelligent to say, keep your mouth shut.

So there. The list above is not really comprehensive, but I think it covers the basics. Please take your time to read, digest, and understand. Let's all make the world a better place to live in. Thank you.

Harry Potter and The Vatican

2009-07-14T22:49:00.003+08:00

They're friends now.

After the Pope has finally approved of the upcoming movie Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince, my mom and her brothers and sisters can now breathe a big sigh of relief that their daughters are not being brainwashed after all by J.K. Rowling's witches and wizards. Don't believe me? Read this.

If you're part of the minority group who don't know who Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling, and the Catholic Church is (and the way they don't blend together like oil and water no matter how hard you try to mix them), here's a brief explanation (at least from my point of view, just correct me if I'm wrong): the Catholic Church thinks that the books lure its readers into witchcraft and sorcery thereby putting in danger their soul and their belief in God. And if you're also part of a deeply religious family who values and respects what the Catholic Church says, this is a touchy subject. My sister and I love the Harry Potter series, and we had a relatively hard time justifying with our parents (and titos and titas) that we were already "spiritually mature" to handle the books. Nevertheless, my sister still had to give away her collection of books as "compromise".

This has got me thinking... if only the Vatican had read the complete series and realize that the whole story actually highlights the power of love and family and how good will always defeat evil in the end, then they could've saved our parents from the sleepless nights worrying that their children are already resorting to magic spells and incantations to get what they want (Accio car keys!). Right? Kidding aside, I admit that the books are of course subject to all kinds of interpretation depending on the reader. And it might pose some unwanted effects if perceived in a different way. But for me, I'll go by my rule of thumb: if it compels me to demean, hurt, or offend anyone, including God, then there must be something wrong with it. It suffices to say that even after reading all seven books, I still love God, my family, and my friends :D And I love Harry Potter. (Haha, labo :p)

Happiness is a warm...

2009-07-07T00:04:00.006+08:00

cup of coffee :D

A cheap one. Brewed at home. Served with hazelnut creamer. And as the famous MasterCard commercial goes:

Coffee grounds: *free*
Creamer: 52+ Php per pack
*skip the sugar since it's already sweet*
Coffee mug: 350Php
Smile on your boyfriend's face because he's drinking the best coffee ever (better than Starbucks!!!): Priceless

It's illogical. I know. Bear with me :D

It's been ages since I last posted an entry, and I missed writing about the nonsense. What amazes me is that even after 3 months since my last post, I'm still talking about the same thing. Either I'm getting boring, or my life is just really outpouring with good vibes that it needs to spill over or else I'm going to blow up.

With all the craziness happening in the world (low billable and utilized hours, market down, GMA getting a boob job, Belo finally speaking up.. I watch too much TV, I know), it's easy to overlook the small things that make you smile genuinely. I just had another spending binge several months back, and before I knew it I was paying credit card bills with transactions I couldn't even remember I made (my sister verified that I made them anyway). I had a Starbucks latte *everyday*, and I bought makeup that will probably last me 2-3 years. Of course, inspite of all the shiny new toys I bought for myself, I knew I couldn't pay for happiness. Happiness will always be a state of mind... a conscious choice I have to make all the time. You play the hand you're dealt with... with a smile on your face and a happy heart. Learn to appreciate the small things that create big ripples in your life -- like the smiles, laughs, and heartfelt conversations shared over a cup of warm coffee.

Right now, let's just say I'm happy that I finally found someone who'd harvest, plow, and seed my farm in FarmVille for me when my Internet connection is having problems with Facebook. =))

If you're happy and you know it clap your hands! *clap clap clap clap clap clap clap*

Psalm 118:21

2009-04-18T22:15:00.003+08:00

Today has just been soooo full of blessings. You can fry an egg on my forehead (from both the oil and the heat), but I'm feeling better than ever. Planning sessions, great conversations, and awww text messages make my day :D Days like this just make me realize even more that I'm really living a great life. :D I'm in the mood for transparency right now, so bear with me :P

Many people will probably not understand me when I say I'm ok... in all aspects. According to the standards and norms of the world, certain events in my life necessitate a certain period of recovery. The fact that I got a speedy one is indeed abnormal... and miraculous at the same time. A friend once told me that God sometimes takes something from you so you can hold on to something better -- a challenging job, great family and friends, a fulfilling service in the community, and definitely better relationships.

Things happen for a reason. CLICHE. But it isn't cliche for nothing. If I had to go through all the things I went through just to be where I am now... and to be with the people I am with now... I'd gladly, WHOLE-HEARTEDLY, go through them again.

YOU

2009-03-28T23:04:00.005+08:00

When you've been walking for a long time, you forget how it feels to fly. But, all it takes is one giant leap of faith... and you realize you still know how to flap your wings and soar like an eagle.

After picking up the pieces and putting them back together, the cracks are almost negligible that you have to squint to see them. Amazingly, superglue works wonders. And this time, you know how fragile it is, so you're careful not to hand it over to someone who has a habit of carrying too many things at the same time.

He's turned my mourning into dancing again, He's lifted my sorrows. And I can't stay silent, I must sing for His joy has come :) My kite is flying high, and the string tension is just right. :D

I am happy.

2009-03-12T06:48:00.004+08:00

Yun lang. Hahahaha!!! :D

Mahal ako ni Lord :D

This post isn't really something profound, or inspirational, or dramatic. Masaya lang ako talaga so I have to write. :D I am so excited that I'm having a hard time typing. :D I can't wipe off the smile on my face. :D I can't sleep at night thinking about... stuff :D I am so happy I can just.... screeeeeeeaaaaaaaaammmmm :D But I can't because people might think I'm crazy. But I really am already :D If you're my friend, you know how I get when I'm excited :D

I am super happy, and super excited, to see YOU :D

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! :D

This entry is full of :D HAHAHA! :D

Because I have no Internet (last night)

2009-03-04T16:46:00.002+08:00

Before leaving work for home, I was left with a question. And it left me thinking about more questions I don't know the answer to. I almost missed my stop.

Have I really turned cynical, doubtful, skeptical, trusting no one? Get too close and my walls automatically close on me, my defense mechanisms in 5th gear. Mind over matter. Brain over heart.

I've read somewhere that love is like a kite. Wisdom is the string tugging on romance, keeping check if it's flying too high. Use your heart too much and it's like cutting your kite's string. You either soar high but without a course (and eventually land on some unknown terrain), or you come crashing down. Use your brain too much and you miss the thrill of soaring.

The sky is clear, perfect day for flying kites. But the sudden gusts of wind scare me.

Bus ride home

2009-02-25T03:50:00.003+08:00

Crappy.

Today, I just wish I'd wake up in my bed in my own room with the pink curtains drowning the sun's rays, and realize everything was just a fading dream.

But I'm wide awake, on a bus ride home.

Happiness is like a tiny little spire of the church you see from a distance. You know it's near, but not quite. It gets bigger everyday. You get nearer everyday. But not as near as you'd want to be. Until you can't see the whole church, until you're not holding its frames, and all you can see are the spires, then you're not as close as you'd want to be.

One can only act tough for so long.

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone.

2009-02-24T21:10:00.005+08:00

I am going crazy.

Solitude can only benefit you for a relatively short period of time. In a month or so, you have by then found yourself again, learned new things, explored the world, raised the bar, expanded boundaries, and challenged self-imposed limitations. By the middle of the second month, you are just about to go crazy. You intensely feel the importance of your family and friends. You pounce on anyone online (during the wee hours of the morning in Manila) to lessen the loneliness. The everyday routine is driving you insane. You've had enough of the break from the drama. You're ready to plunge right back into it. :->

The place I'm staying at is spiffy clean. I have packed lunch everyday. (I can now perfectly cook rice without a rice cooker.) I've explored every nook and cranny of nearby villages. I've finished 4 books. I'm halfway done with my movies.

I still have 39 days to go.

I should've packed more sunshine with me.

Post Valentines

2009-02-15T21:03:00.003+08:00

The night of Feb 13 2009, I was in the pits. RX was having the Single's party and I could hear their live music playing on the radio online. That didn't help lift up my spirits. While they were partying the night away, I was at the hotel eating chicken noodle soup. Now don't get me wrong... I tried going out that night. It was a Friday, and naturally people will be out having drinks. Well, I was technically correct. People were having drinks. Couples and families were having wine inside restaurants. Where are the bars and the clubs and the beer??? So I ended up having chicken noodle soup. Cool.

The next day was entirely different from the night before, though. I braved through the cold and the long lines and went up the Eiffel Tower. How could you not be amazed and feel blessed when you're at the topmost deck of the most famous landmark in the world? I still get goosebumps everytime I remember that moment :D It's Valentine's and I'm on top of the world (literally and figuratively). I love life and life loves me back. Haha! I can't remember what I did for Valentine's last year... but most definitely, I'll remember what I did for Valentine's this year for as long as I live:D

I always thought that Valentine's is a hassle... with or without a boyfriend. Too many expectations, too much cliches, too many pretensions. Not much has changed in my perception. Haha! I just enjoyed the 14th this month that I just had to post something about it. :P

From a foreigner's point of view

2009-02-13T03:14:00.001+08:00

Talk to them in English and they reply in French. You let them read the translation of what you want to say and they still reply in French. Je ne vous comprends pas (translate.google.com). Amf. How hard is that to comprehend. More often than not, you also get the feeling that you're being talked about. In between the flurry of unrecognizable words, you hear your name and see them look at you. They know you know they're talking about you, but they won't bother to translate :P As much as you want to fit in, the fact that you can't speak French makes you feel like at an outsider. So when you hear someone say "Hoy bilisan nyo maiiwan na tayo!" in the Metro (French version of MRT), you can't help but smile and start a conversation with a kababayan. Then after a few days, McDonalds and KFC begin to seem like an oasis in a desert of restaurants serving cold cuts, wine, and cheese. At least when inside a fastfood chain, you feel comfort in the knowledge that you're not the only one having a hard time ordering. The place is packed with other foreigners who have gone tired of the cold cuts too.

Does the moonlight shine on Paris?

2009-02-09T05:43:00.003+08:00

YES.

Lion King The Musical

2009-02-05T06:00:00.022+08:00

The moment Rafiki started singing the opening chants of Circle of Life, I was already blown away. I need not watch the rest of the musical to decide whether it was good or not. I already knew it was going to be great. I couldn't even describe the emotions I felt while Rafiki was singing, and all kinds of animals were parading down the aisle towards the stage. Life-size elephants and giraffes, antelopes, buzzards, deer, cheetahs, zebras, and tigers were all walking down the aisle and were within arms' reach. Consuelo was rubbing my back while I futilely stopped the tears from falling because my eyeliner wasn't waterproof. The opening act was simply overwhelming. I already felt that every penny I paid was worth it (and more).

The story wasn't different at all from the cartoon. Same characters, same plot. What made it better, though, was the production itself. The life-size puppets, the costumes, the head pieces, and the special effects made a whole lot of difference. Flat images from the cartoon came to life in Lyceum Theatre. Pride Rock rose before my eyes in all its glory, the stampede scene was incredible, Scar was brilliant and was true to its character, Timon and Pumbaa are funnier, and Nala was very... agile :D

I could go on and on and describe the songs, characters, and scenes one by one, but I'd be doing my readers disservice. It is enough to know that the musical is worth watching. Even if you're not a fan of musicals and fall asleep while watching them, I guarantee you my one month's allowance that you will love Lion King.

I know I'm blessed more than I deserve. But you won't hear me complaining :P Keep it coming! :D

(taken from Simba's solo Endless Night)
I know that the night must end
And that the sun will rise
And that the sun will rise
I know that the clouds must clear
And that the sun will shine
And that the sun will shine

If you like it then you should've put a ring on it

2009-02-05T04:33:00.004+08:00

I want to remember this for the rest of my life.

HILARIOUS!!! =))

justin timberlake snl beyonce single ladies video

The TomTom and Ben Love Affair

2009-02-04T04:52:00.013+08:00

As I write this entry, I'm watching the snow fall outside on my way back to Huddersfield. It's probably subzero already, and the cold is seeping through the train's windows. My scarf isn't helping that much and my ears are about to fall off because of frostbite (exaggerating here. But it's really cold. Take my word for it). I don't care. I'm extremely tired, but definitely overjoyed. Another dream come true. :D

Although I didn't get to see the queen (nor her boys... dang it. haha!), I passed by her palace. I fell in love with Ben, and I'm going back to see him again. Long distance doesn't really work you know (no pun intended). Tears fell as the first lines of the opening song of my first musical was sung. I still can't believe it... I get goosebumps as I type off the words and remember that I watched my first live musical at WEST END. West End, London baby!!!! WEST END!!! I navigated through Convent Garden (thus getting the nickname TomTom... I didn't realize til now that I was really good at maps. If only maps worked in Manila as well. Streets keep changing names you know :P), which I later learned that it wasn't called Convent... Covent pala. HAHA! I crossed the London Bridge, walked along River Thames, and cheered the new Chinese year with a (cute) stranger.

I got my fair share of unfortunate moments: I lost my favorite pink beret, (literally) had nosebleed while in the Tube, and walked around the city in subzero temperature. But when I recall all my London moments... meeting Ben, watching Lion King, touring Notting Hill while snow was falling, seeing Platform 9 3/4 (there really is one :P), attending mass at Westminster Cathedral... I know that my ill-fated experiences are outnumbered by overwhelmingly great ones. Not only did I tour the city of London, but I also rekindled a friendship with a sister in Christ. Tears are forming in my eyes right now as I list down all the blessings. I am again awed by God's greatness and goodness to me. There really is a God, and everywhere I look, I see Him. :)

More than I could hope or dream of,

You want to pour your favour on me...

So blessed I can't contain it.

So much I gotta give it away.

Your love has taught me to live now.

You are more than enough for me.

Nananana nanana nananana nana... So so what!

2009-01-30T03:57:00.004+08:00

You know that feeling when you open a box of crayons and the smell of it reminds you of art classes in Grade School and the wars that raged between you and your sister over a coloring book and the work of art (your name in bright red) written on the pristine white walls of your house? Or when you smell a whiff of cologne (Victoria's Secret's Strawberries and Champagne) from someone else, and you remember that you used to wear that too during one of the dances (with your high school sweetheart. hahaha eew) in High School? :P I love that feeling :D It doesn't matter if you'd rather not reminisce that distinct memory attached to it... you'd still end up in fits of giggles after remembering right? I do. Haha! :P

The best thing about these kind of nostalgic attacks is that the trigger of the attack always comes unexpectedly. While flipping through dresses and tops on a rack, the store's background music will suddenly play THAT song and by the time the intro is done and the first lines are being sung, you already have a smile on your face :D You suddenly remember the silly tears you cried, the fake smiles you put on, the mean things you thought of at that time, the touching conversation going on at that distinct moment, and you go on singing along with the chorus. By the time you've made your purchase, the song's stuck in your head.

Anyway, the whole point of this is: At the end of the day (while the song still keeps playing in your head), you are reminded that the past is not so bad after all. You can even smile about it now :D Then you go home and do the laundry and forget about the whole ordeal. A week after, while vacuuming the carpet, the song plays on the shuffle playlist...

Nananana nanana nananana nana...

And now you know what'll happen next :D

Newbie

2009-01-30T03:31:00.001+08:00

Everything is new to me, everything is a first-time experience. Most especially my line of work. It's quite a bit of change in perspective, and I've got a whole lot of stuff to learn before I can actually contribute anything substantial to the team. The whole process is extremely challenging, and sometimes I end up thinking if it's worth it. During the meeting this afternoon, however, my bigger boss said something that I will remember for the rest of my life: our job is done when the customers are happy. In other words, we are fulfilled when they are happy. Cliche. Every service-oriented business says that in their ads. But, if you really think it over, it makes life simpler. Simpler is better [product placement. haha!] That, I think, is the essence of our life here on earth. Service. To serve others in every way we can. To be of service to the people we don't even like. To know that you made life easier for someone else.

Easier said than done. I'm still learning the ropes. But, at least I know I'm in the right team now. :D

Geek

2009-01-23T22:20:00.002+08:00

Cool. I found this on the Internet.

http://doods.wordpress.com/2007/04/15/new-philnits-certified-it-professionals/

My name's cited there somewhere :P Geek. Haha :D

Just off the the top of my head (part 2)

2009-01-19T03:45:00.005+08:00

I was feeling nostalgic (probably because of the silence and the ridiculous temperature here) so I browsed through my old pictures posted in multiply. Ironically, when I thought I hit rock bottom, that was when I had (or probably am having is the correct tense) the best time of my life :P Great times, great conversations, great memories, great vibes :D

So so what!

I'm still a rockstar :D

I got my rock moves!

And I don't need you =))

I wrote in my very first heart-felt (a.k.a. heartbroken) entry that I write to heal. Writing for me is therapy. And I'm getting better and better everyday :) Woot! World peace! :D

January 16

2009-01-16T22:12:00.007+08:00

When you get out of your comfort zone, you tend to be emotional and be over-appreciative of the things around you. Which is good. :D

1. Last night, while watching the new season of American Idol, tears fell everytime someone got the yellow ticket. I felt overwhelmed that someone was getting closer to their dream. It felt so... nice :P I cried while they jumped for joy :P Then I'd laugh at myself for crying over AI. Someone's going crazy. =))

2. I'm staying in this great aparment where I have a sunroof in my bedroom. When the sky is clear at night (or early morning), I can see the moon and the stars, and that usually means a sunny day in this dreary place for me. Today, the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes were the stars. And I felt super grateful that God blessed me with great weather on this fantastic day. :D It's gonna be a lovely daaaay :D (I'm slowly picking up the expressions they use here, blimey!)

3. This morning, I got teary eyed again while watching the news about the plane that crash-landed on the Hudson river. I felt it was another manifestation of God's goodness that no one died from the accident. And I felt doubly grateful that I'm not just surviving now, but LIVING.

4. As early as 4pm (12MN manila time) here yesterday, I already received numerous text messages, facebook, multiply, and friendster comments, emails, and YM messages. :D This is the longest birthday celebration ever :D

5. My greatest worry for this trip is spending my birthday alone and there might not be anything special that would happen. But, as it turns out, my counterparts here went the extra mile to ask around and know what makes me smile :P So this morning, when they got to the office, they surprised me with tulips and cake and chocolates and lip gloss :P

6. The greatest worry of other people for me is that the loneliness will add to my "depression". First of all, I'm not depressed. Never was (I think.. haha). Second, I learned it's just a matter of perspective, of how you view the situation. It's easy to pity myself and think that I'm alone and I've got no one to talk to and this place is lonely and dull and gray (It is, believe me). But I'd be spending a considerable amount of time here, and the worst that I could do is waste that time and put myself down. So, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm excited to spend my first weekend here exploring the city and learning how to cook and clean :D I'm stronger than most people think :P

7. Who gets to spend their birthday in UK? ME :D

When you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Count your blessings :)

Life so far

2009-01-15T21:30:00.001+08:00

You know you're already quite settled in a new place when you find yourself having a routine. You get up in the morning at 6, do your morning prayers, turn on the speakers at full blast and play whatever's on the ipod playlist, fix the bed, prepare lunch, take a bath, eat breakfast while watching the news, go to work, do work stuff and eat lunch in between, go back home by 5, prepare dinner, watch TV for a while, chat with friends, do a little cleaning here and there, read Revolutionary Road (first book on my list. I have Boy meets Girl next.), fall asleep by 10, then wake up the next morning to repeat the whole cycle. Exciting isn't it? Not :P But I am enjoying and having fun :P This is the first time in my entire existence that I'm all by myself, without Manang or Mom or Kaka or Reyna (peace:P) to take care of things for me.

I needed this. I needed the break from the drama. I needed the pressure of work and the pressure of living alone to divert my attention and contemplate on something worthwhile and meaningful for a change. And so far, the diversion is effective.

I'm now looking forward to my first weekend here. So far, here's my To Do list:

Learn how to make hard-boiled eggs
Learn how to cook rice (w/o a rice cooker)
Do the laundy
Vaccuum the flat
Do the ironing
Research on how to get to the nearest Catholic church.

Sheltered little Meggy is learning real life stuff :P Brilliant! Fantastic! Amazing! :D HAHAHA!

English Spokening

2009-01-15T03:58:00.002+08:00

I was in training this afternoon and taking down notes when my trainer suddenly interrupted me and asked why I was writing notes in English. Then I paused and thought... why would I take down notes in Tagalog, especially if the notes where technical? (Well, even if the topic wasn't technical, I still would be writing in English.) So I said that's because I feel more comfortable writing in English. He looked at me wide-eyed and said, "Your English is very impressive. It's really brilliant. Amazing." At this point, I smiled, thanked him, and took pride in myself. Thank you St. Scho for the 11 years of English education.

However, now that I really think about it, I'm not sure anymore if I should be proud that I speak and write better English than Filipino. Although I don't want to pose as a wannabe socialite, that's just really how I am, how I was brought up, and what I'm used to. When I'm drunk, emotionally high, really angry, or really sad, I'd be ranting and raving in English. (Right, friends?:P) Speaking English well has its advantages and has got me to where I am now, so of course I should take pride in that. But not being able to speak and write in my own native language at the same level as I do in English is kind of a shame. Worse, I don't know how to improve on that, or if I should even try.

Being in a foreign country tends to make one become more patriotic. I'm not sure if I'm being patriotic right now. Just being honest, though :P

Movie Marathon

2009-01-12T19:28:00.002+08:00

The long flight and the privilege of time has allowed me to catch up on movies I missed last year. So, in a matter of 24 hours, I was able to see Wall-E, What Happens in Vegas, Marie Antoinette, The House Bunny, and 27 Dresses. Now, I feel all giddy and happy despite the fact that I'm alone in a hotel room (with the barren trees swaying outside the window because of the wind) while writing this entry. Feel good movies are the perfect remedies for lonely weekends. They remind you that love never fails :P

P.S.
I cried while watching The House Bunny. I know... weirdo. But I also cried when I watched Benchwarmers, Cars, and Click. Haha! :D

Blooming

2009-01-12T19:26:00.000+08:00

Reading today's Gospel reflection reminded me that God is the reason for all the great things happening to me. For the past months, I've been receiving compliments on how I've lost weight and how my aura is different, better. Thank you :P But that's probably just the black top hiding my flabs or the make-up hiding my blemishes :P But really... what's important for me right now is I feel and I know that I'm loved... by God, my family, my friends... and that's what makes me beautiful inside and out.

Waiting Time

2009-01-12T19:21:00.001+08:00

Jan 10, 2009 7:56PM Schipol Airport, Amsterdam (Jan 11, 2009 2:56AM Manila)

After a week of stressful packing, I'm finally here waiting for my connecting flight to Manchester... alone. Just a few minutes ago, a friend offered me a hug to compensate for the who-knows-how-long time I'll be spending by myself in a foreign country. He and the rest of the group are probably waiting for their connecting flight to Gothenburg at the other side of the airport as well while trying to stay awake and fight jet lag. Good for them, they have each other to talk to while killing time. I, on the other hand, am seated between a sleeping Korean and a Brit with a beautiful purple coat while checking the signboard and my boarding pass (for the nth time) just to make sure I'm waiting at the right gate.

Right now, everything seems so surreal. -- from the eye candy (men and women clad in coats and boots) to the thousands of miles separating me from home. It feels as though I'm just waiting for my sister to come pick me up anytime soon. Then I remember I'm not at the office when I hear the paging system announce: "Passenger [name here], you are delaying the flight. Please board immediately. We will continue to off load your luggage."

I don't know what to expect from my stay here. Of course, professionally, I know I have to do well. But personally, I don't know yet how I'll be spending my much awaited retreat from my comfort zone. I do have a goal though: by the time I'm back home, I have by then let go of the remaining ropes of past traumatic experiences that I've been clinging to.

2009's First Blessing

2009-01-07T00:21:00.003+08:00

In just a few days, I'll be on European soil once again (it sounds as though I'm on it most of the time), and the first week of my new year was spent doing last minute preparations for the trip. Mid last year, I had totally different plans on how to spend my 2009, but it seems that those plans aren't in sync with God's plans for me... so they were scrapped. Just like that :D Apparently, my bosses think I need a change of scenery anyway (and some serious soul-searching) so they decided to ship me off to the other side of the planet... alone. So on top of the pressure of doing a very good job and impressing the local team, I also have to go on this trip by myself. Daunting. (Joke lng po, mga boss. Excited po ako :p)

Nevertheless, this is the best Christmas/birthday gift that God has given me to date. I'm expecting many firsts to happen on this trip, and I can't wait for the life and career lessons I'll be learning along the way. I'll be relying on my currently non-existent navigation skills to get to the office through public transpo (gooood luuuuuck!!!!), doing my own laundry and ironing (I will miss you manang!!!), and cooking my own meals (I will miss you sooo much Dad!!!). Pag balik ko, pwede na ako... maging yaya! =)) For possible employers, please contact my General Manger, my sister. =))

Pray for me, ayt? :)

I Kissed Dating Goodbye

2008-12-29T01:03:00.007+08:00

The title itself is a turn-off. I wouldn't have picked up this book had I seen it in a book store at a different period in my life. But times have changed. My only regret is that I should've read this sooner than later.

So I kissed dating goodbye. The title is as radical as its contents. While getting my nails done (and I wasn't in the mood to have small talk about Karylle and Marian with the manicurist), I contemplated yet again about my life (note to self: avoid idleness at all costs. bring a book next time). What was I doing?! (Slap on the forehead) The world has its own definition of love -- that passion-filled, sweep-you-off-your-feet, butterflies in your tummy, "haven't felt this way before", "can't stop thinking about you", "can't stop thinking about your smile" kind of feeling. Intense (and beautiful) while it's there, but gone at the blink of an eye. I've seen the "beauty" of this kind of love. But I've also had my fair share of worldly-love inflicted pain. I'm sick and tired of this kind of perspective. Every break-up, whether from a one-week fling or from a serious four-year one, is painful. I don't want it anymore.

Love, in God's definition, is Jesus hanging on the cross. (No, I didn't kiss dating goodbye to become a nun. FYI.) Love is a decision, and not a feeling. It's a decision you stick to no matter the cost. And until I'm ready for that kind of life-long commitment (in other words: marriage... which I'm certainly not ready for right now), I'm lying low from the dating scene. O good Lord, help me. HAHA!

I'm not about to start a debate whether you should quit dating as well. I'm not good at debates (just a good speaker. haha!). DISCLAIMER: I'm not against dating nor people who date. This is just a personal conviction that I'm praying I'll be able to follow through. If you're tired of pointless relationships, if you're in it just for fun, if you're merely looking for someone better and not "the one", grab a copy of the book. Or you can rent mine for a minimal cost :D

You're a WART!

2008-12-27T00:29:00.003+08:00

You think it's over and done with... but somehow, the knowledge that certain stuff should've happened but never will upsets your whole system. It's kind of like an irritating wart that you try to ignore, but you know it's there and you can feel it. A bump on your otherwise smooth skin.

Don't get me wrong. I'm still enjoying the long break (while it lasts). Christmas was a blast and the parties and dinners and coffee moments are wonderful memories. It's just that... it's hard to explain. I can't say that I'm not affected anymore because I obviously still am. But then again, the whole thing's just like a wart! You won't die because of it, but the fact that IT's there (or here to be technically correct) is... irritating.

I've read somewhere that when a woman is stressed, she either shops or prays. Stressful times like these require His superpowers already, since my credit card is once again nearing its full potential. Let's blame it on the Mango sale.

Senitmental

2008-12-21T17:22:00.002+08:00

As the year ends, and my notepad is filled halfway, I am awed by how God has filled my life with people who have shaped my character very well. (Spare me for the sentimental mood, it's Christmas and Christmas does crazy things to people. At least being sentimental makes me happy and not sad :P) Some friends have been there only during the ups, and some have left me for good, but for the points of contact with them in my existence, I am still grateful. When the Lord takes away, he gives back a hundredfold. In my case, he gave back a thousandfold.

Although the new chapter in my life has begun a few months earlier, what better way to celebrate it this Christmas and New Year with people who matter. And I've been celebrating like there's no tomorrow :D A few relationships might have been severed in the past year... but man, I'm having a blast knowing that I have such great friends now.

It's the season to celebrate friendships... and the season to heal relationships. Bottoms up to all my lifesavers (in so many ways :D)!!!

Battle of the pounds

2008-12-16T14:04:00.001+08:00

One good measure of how I'm doing is my weight. I'm gaining back the pounds. OHHHH NOOOOESSSS!!!! Now that I'm doing very well, I'm enjoying food again. HAHAHA! And trying to cut back on eating and drinking during this season is terribly hard. All the parties and gimmicks and nights out and coffee sessions equal more calories.

I definitely don't want the depression again, but I want the weight that comes with it. So I'll have to figure out a way how to not eat and stay full and happy =))

P.S. (Not related to blog title)
I probably might be on hiatus as well from the writing. My social calendar is extremely jam-packed with shopping and meet-ups and parties that I barely have time to sleep. Good for me, right? :D I got what I prayed for.. a very very busy December :D

Have a blessed Christmas everyone! And while I'm at it already, I'll use this opportunity to remind you that amidst the merriness and busy-ness of the season, let's not forget that the real reason for Christmas is... Someone DECIDED to love us. :D

True Love

2008-12-10T08:04:00.000+08:00

I just wanted to share with everyone a text lifted from a book I'm currently reading. When I'm done with the whole book, I promise to write about it. I'm not even halfway, but my views and thoughts on love and relationships have radically changed already. How I wish I read this way before. I could've spared myself from all the hurt and disappointments. But then again, God has His own purposes and plans. He makes all things beautiful, in His time... and I'm on my way to being Ms. Universe :D

"...love is under our control. He chose to love us. He chose to lay down His life for us. The danger of believing that you "fall in love" is that it also means you can "fall out of love" just as unexpectedly. Aren't you glad God's love for us isn't as unpredictable? Aren't you thankful that God's love is under His control and not based on whim? We need to throw out the misconception that love is some strange "force" that tosses us around against our will like leaves in the wind. We cannot justify doing what is wrong by saying that love grabbed hold of us and "made" us behave irresponsibly. That's not love. Instead, it's what the Bible calls in 1 Thessalonians 4:5 "passionate lust". We express true love in obedience to God and service to others -- not reckless or selfish behavior -- and we choose these behaviors." --Joshua Harris

Amen.

Christmas Registry

2008-12-07T18:26:00.013+08:00

I was preparing my list of gifts to give to friends (I will be on a shopping spree tomorrow. holiday! yey!) when I thought it would be so much easier if I knew what people wanted in the first place. So this year, I am assuming my friends and relatives are having a hard time thinking of what to get me as well.

Thus, I will be saving you, my friends, from the burden of thinking of what to get me for Christmas. Let's make each others' lives easier. HAHA!

1. Body Shop Brilliance Powder (bronze) Every time I hit the malls and see the store, I try the tester but never actually buy it. Too expensive for me. Haha! But of course, it's the season of giving and I'm very much willing to receive this anytime.

2. Body Shop Shimmer Waves Same as explanation above. :D

3. Face Shop Baked Eyeshadow I already have the silver/black shade and it works wonders. You can try it for yourself too. The Face Shop is actually a cheaper alternative to Body Shop. But I usually just pass by their store in High Street because once I go in, I know I can't leave empty-handed. Not good for my saving attempts. :D 4. Magic Wallet Everybody seems to have gotten this as a present, but nobody ever got one for me. Haha! I have a fetish for huuuge wallets where you can store anything and everything, but of course it isn't practical when going on a night-out with the girls and all I'm willing to carry is that cute clutch where my phone won't even fit :P

5. GC to ANY bookstore I am a voracious reader. So I won't mind if you're giving me gift certificates to NB, Fully Booked, or A Different Bookstore. Tip: books are cheaper at NB (National Bookstore) but it doesn't usually carry the rare and hard-to-find books that are sold in Fully Booked and A Different Bookstore. But still, GCs from any bookstore will still be GREATLY appreciated. :D

6. BOOKS!!! If you're not the type who gives GCs, then a book will do :D I'm into vampires (HAHAHA!), self-help, Christian living, inspirational, and fiction that uplifts the soul. NO sci-fi, mystery, thriller, or horror please :P

7. Reading light I saw an inexpensive one at Fully Booked, Rockwell (hint hint). I usually read before I sleep and when the lights are out (I share a room with my sister, it's more fun [and cheaper] that way :P), I use my phone's flashlight for reading :P Kawawa naman. HAHA!

8. Notepad Not only am I a voracious reader, but I'm a writer as well. :D I have a small notepad that I bring with me EVERYWHERE (even on night-outs with the girls :P) so whenever a random thought pops up, I can write it down immediately. FYI: Most of the entries here are written first in my notepad. Although, not all of the entries in the notepad are uploaded here. Too personal :D

9. Travelling stuff I travel for work (rarely for leisure :P) and Make Room has all these thingys and gadgets that are useful for "travellers". I never bought one for myself, though, since I thought someone is bound to give those as Christmas/birthday gifts. HAHAHA :D

10. IPHONE A girl can dream :D
11. ANY Katinas album (except Lifestyle: A Worship Experience) Praise music has never sounded soooo great :D Rock and Soul :D If you're going to get me one, I suggest you burn yourself a copy, too :D

If you're not getting me any of these, that doesn't make you less of a friend. Just treat me to dinner or coffee, sagot ko ang kwento. If you're on a budget, then don't treat me, KKB na lang :D But, I'm treating you to bear hugs if you are getting me presents :D HAHAHA!

In one of the talks Bo Sanchez gave during the Kerygma Conference, he said to never be afraid to ask. Of course, in the context in which he gave his talk, he was referring to asking for blessings from the Lord... that you should never settle for what is NOT best for you and to always ask as if you're expecting to get. But, I think that applies to human relationships as well :D People will never know what you want nor what you expect from them if you do not verbalize it. Ask and you shall receive, right? :D

Taboo

2008-12-06T23:37:00.003+08:00

This one's a delicate topic, and I'm thankful that Bo (we're tight :P) wrote a piece on it. I have nothing else to add so click away

This is a bold move I'm going to make, but I'm making it anyway.

Let's set the bar high. I am committing to the yoke of purity. Period. No erase.

Somethings don't change

2008-12-06T15:27:00.009+08:00

HAHAHA!

WARNING: If you're not a fan of Twilight and haven't read the books, you won't know what I'm talking about. Sorry. Just read my other blogs to pass time. :P

When I finally had a day off from my busy sched, I watched Twilight on a weekday afternoon. We had the cinema all to ourselves. So while drinking Avocado yogurt shake, I indulged in all of Edward's beauty and hotness. Eeeeeeeek!!!! In between sneezes and coughs, I managed to insert squeals and gasps and other sound effects I'm capable of making. Then I watched Twilight at home for the 2nd time the other night. Then probably later this afternoon, too. Sigh. :D It's not everyday that fictional characters have this effect on me. Twilight is an exception. The Cullens are just so... gorgeous (for lack of a better description). I don't mind being sick all the time if espasol Dr. Carlisle will be my doctor. I'd be in the ER all the time (charging the expenses to my health card, of course). My complaint? Hyperventilation. HAHAHA! And Emmet!!!! I looooove Emmet! Those biceps and abs... daaannnng!!! :D Five stars for Twilight (this is from a biased fan)!!!

Although the movie got mixed reviews from my friends, I think it's still soooo cool to see my imagination come alive on the big screen. Their version of sparkling Edward was way better than what I had in mind. The soundtrack is amazing, the whole baseball scene was exactly what I expected (and more, actually), and they couldn't have picked a better Edward and Bella. Every time Edward smiles that smile, my heart just contracts with excitement. Does the heart contract? I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about, girls. Wayfarers will never look great on anyone else but Edward. Swooning now. :x If I could have a boyfriend who could growl at maniacs, drive a Volvo like that, climb trees, carry me on his back while running to the nearest mall, be fascinated to watch me sleep, and most of all treat me like I'm THE only woman in his life (and not just one of the options he has to choose from), then my life would be too perfect. Fictional characters are just way better than real people, don't you think? But therein lies the problem. They're fictional. Created by a woman. HAHA!

Change is GREAT!!!

2008-12-03T21:13:00.005+08:00

Change #1
For people who know me, they know that I'm not productive in the morning. DEFINITELY not a morning person (thank God for flexi time). During the past weekends, however, I've been waking up even before the sun rises to prepare for the day's events. A few months ago, weekends would mean sleeping in until manang wakes me up for a late lunch. Now, I realize the day is even better when you've spent more waking hours in it.

Change #2
I've spent the last few years enjoying all the happiness and pleasures the world has to offer. After the LSE and K-Con, I realize that happiness in the Spirit is sooooo sooooooooo much better!!! I thought I wouldn't be able to give up a certain addiction... but miraculously, I'm not even feeling any urge or desire for it now. Wooooohooooo!!!! I know I still have a long way to go, but God's grace has never failed me so I have no worries for the days ahead :D I know now that nothing compares to the highness in the Spirit :D

Change #3
My passion to write has intensified even more!!! I used to write when I was younger, but that doesn't compare to how I write and what I write about now. It's like a dam of thoughts and emotions has been opened up and the words just flow from the heart to the pen. :D I realize I have a passion after all (I used to think my passion was shopping. It still is, but writing is so much cheaper. Goodness... you should see my credit card bills. I'm feeling the aftershock of the depression. ANYWAY...). I love to write what I think (I love it more than writing Java/JS code). I've finally found my passion :)

Change #4
A few months ago, being sad would mean infinite mood swings, a raised eyebrow, eyebags, and a sour face. Someone I knew used to say to me that happiness is a choice, and I can always control my emotions. I heard what he said, but I realize now that somehow, a part of me didn't believe him. Now, I've proven that happiness is really a matter of choice. You decide to be happy [not despite of or in spite of but] with your problems. Whatever circumstances you're in, you can choose to be happy. Even the heavens decided to be happy for me :D I love you, Papa. Thanks :D Anyway, I've noticed that when you have a happy heart (meaning you're truly happy and not just putting on a show), it will absolutely reflect in your disposition. Ang ganda ko ngayon! Hahahaha :D

These are just some of the changes I've noticed in myself these past few months. I can't list them all down since nobody wants to read a long blog (and this is long enough already). Hehe! I have a disclaimer, though. I write these not to show off what a great person I am (but I really am... haha!), but to be a living example that we can rise from whatever pit we are in. I want to be an inspiration for others that the best is always yet to come and God never fails you :) Heaven and earth will fade, but His words will remain. He can make something BEAUTIFUL out of your life (I'm ready to sing now... hahaha!) :D When you start living by faith, you don't receive a drizzle of blessings. You get a heavy downpour. :D

Superblessed!!!

2008-12-01T00:34:00.005+08:00

Week after week after week, I've been feeding my spirit and soul with God's love. Wooooohoooooo!!!! The seed has been planted years and years ago, and after a long period of dryness, it was watered again when I started with the Singles Encounter. Then with the Family Encounter. Then with the Life in the Spirit Experience. Then with the Kerygma Conference. Then with the Katinas concert. I am just outpouring with love and happiness and joy and peace and everything great that I just have to share it with you all. Wooooooooooohoooooot!!!! :) When the time comes that I'll get hurt again, looking back and reading this entry will remind me that the sorrow only lasts for a night and joy comes in the morning :D So many things have changed since October, and I am sooooooo grateful that things happened. Physically, I changed a bit... hehehe :D But the big difference is how changed I am inside.

Over the past weeks, I've learned that everybody encounters trials at several points in their lives, and it breaks them to pieces. I won't even begin to tell you the many ways of how broken I am. Let's skip the drama for the meantime :D I am so overflowing with happiness that I can't subdue myself to talk about sad stuff. :D So going back... EVERYBODY IS BROKEN. Everybody has lost a loved one to death or someone else, everybody got hurt, everybody has hurt someone else, everybody has done something... bad. But, broken as we are, that doesn't give us the license to feel depression and self-pity. Even if God isn't responsible for the situations we're experiencing, He is with us through the experience. When I thought that my world was crashing down, it was in Him that I found comfort and peace. I will go through more pain in my lifetime (I'm betting my friend's paycheck on that), but God is with me through it all and that makes ALL the difference.

Tomorrow will be another day full of God's surprises, and everytime I'll wake up, I'll remember to thank Him for all the great things He has blessed me with. I am super duper excited for this new life I will be living. Miracles are about to happen to me, and I pray that I can be a miracle for someone else, too :D He gives and takes away, but my heart will choose to bless His holy name forever :D Let's live a happy and meaningful life :D Woooooooooot!!!!!

Overflowing :D

2008-11-26T23:10:00.002+08:00

So many thoughts are running through my mind right now and all of them are happy ones :D For the past months, everybody [who's in my circle] knows that I went through tough times. The weight of all the relationships (take note, plural ito) gone awry was just really difficult to handle. But right now... as in RIGHT NOW... I'm experiencing incredible peace and joy and happiness. :D It feels so light having surrendered everything to Him. I am overflowing with love and happiness. WOOOOHOOOOOOOT! :D For every tear that I shed and for every depressing memory and thought that crossed my mind, God has replaced it with laughter and peace of mind. :D

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart --Ps 37:4

Amazing :D

2008-11-26T19:28:00.003+08:00

I was going through the entries I've written in this blog since day 1, and I am simply amazed at the progress I've made. Ang galing! Ang galing ni Lord! :D In a previous entry, I wrote that I was still in mourning. Well, now, the dancing has begun!!!

To be honest, I started this blog with the intention of earning extra money. But now that I'm having so much fun expressing my thoughts and having a creative outlet for my technical work, I write for me and not for the money (or for other people :P) I tried keeping diaries when I was younger but I never followed through. I have tons of them stored somewhere in the house. Hehe :D But the feeling of satisfaction and achievement that comes from knowing that I've grown and improved so much over the months makes the writing all worth it. I don't think I'll ever be a professional blogger though. At least not now :P It is enough that my writing helps in my personal growth, and I hope it helps those who read it, too :D

The Lord has blessed me with a gift, and I'll use it to bless others as well. Life is so awesome, don't you think? So much to write about :D Jesus in me loves you all :D Huuuuug!!!! :D

Happy :)

2008-11-23T21:55:00.004+08:00

I just had one of the best weekends of my life :) It was just... W-O-W. I have never felt so loved by God, family, friends, and friends of family :) I praise the Lord for what just happened. It's like an artery was unclogged in my heart, and a smile is forever glued to my face. :D This is what happy means. :D

And as for the rest of my life, here is what I intend to do:

Be always humble, gentle, and patient. Show your love by being tolerant with one another. Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ. -- Ephesians 4: 2, 31-32

It's cliche but when you slammed the front door shut, a lot of others opened up. Thank you :)

Miles Away

2008-11-21T07:52:00.000+08:00

very well said, Madonna :)

All my dreams, they fade away
I'll never be the same
If you could see me the way you see yourself
I can't pretend to be someone else

Always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we're at our best, miles away

Too much of no sound
Uncomfortable silence can be so loud
Those three words are never enough
When it's long distance love

I'm alright
Don't be sorry, but it's true
When I'm gone, you realize
That I'm the best thing that happened to you

You always love me more, miles away
I hear it in your voice, miles away
You're not afraid to tell me, miles away
I guess we're at our best, miles away
So far away

Forgive and (?) Forget

2008-11-20T19:55:00.002+08:00

When you get deeply hurt, human nature will tell you to hurt back... to get revenge... to make him feel at least a pinch of what you're feeling. So when I chose to forgive, many were surprised. Before any violent reactions, here's what I think:

Forgiving is NEVER EQUAL to forgetting. Forgiving doesn't make things okay. Up to now, I still feel tugs of pain whenever I see or hear things, moments, songs that remind me of the past and the recent events. There's no more crying, but there's still pain. Healing takes time, so I'm just looking forward to the point when the pain's completely gone. Right now, I'm just letting God and nature take their course. But... even with the pain gone, I don't think it's possible to forget. The lying and the cheating will always be there, carved on stone.

To forgive, however, is a different story. If it were up to me, I'd rather let people wallow in guilt and sleepless nights especially when I know I've done nothing wrong. But I feel like a different person now, more mature in lots of ways. So I know that it's not through my abilities that I'm able to forgive, but through God's grace. By forgiving you (and her), I'm surrendering you to God and letting Him take care of things. It's no longer in my hands. I forgive you.

So... I pray for great and happy lives for all of us. Charge everything to experience. I'm blessed and I know you will be, too. Smile... because as you've said, life is beautiful :)

Awaken the Miracle in YOU

2008-11-18T23:09:00.004+08:00

I'm advertising for Kuya George. HAHAHA :D

BE INSPIRED AND BE BLESSED IN THE BIGGEST, MOST POWERFUL CATHOLIC LEARNING EVENT OF THE YEAR!

What can you expect from the Conference?

- Powerful talks and exhortations from renowned Charismatic preachers and priests that are sure to awaken the miracle waiting to happen in your life;
- Worship experience that provides respite from today’s hurried pace that will rekindle the fire in your spiritual life;
- A chance to receive God’s healing touch through our guest healing minister;
- And who knows, God may be cooking up a personal surprise for you through the Conference!

So what are you waiting for? Click here now to register!

SEE YOU THERE!!!!! :D

God's Plan

2008-11-13T07:43:00.002+08:00

Human eyes and human minds will always see and think of things differently as God does. We always say that things happen for a reason and it's "God's plan" for us. When we fall down the stairs, we'll justify that it was God's plan for us so we'll know next time not to text while going down a flight of stairs so we won't miss a step. When we fail an exam, we'll think that it was God's plan for us so we'll study harder next time. When we lose someone, we'll convince ourselves that it's God's plan for us so we can move on to someone better.

But, after a few heartfelt conversations with wiser people, Bible reading, and prayers, I understand now that God doesn't intend for us to get hurt in any way. No sadistic parent would want that for their child. It's not in His plan for us to hurt people intentionally or unintentionally. It's not in His plan for us to get hurt. It is the consequences of the choices we pursue and the decisions we make, as humans, that hurt us. Free will does that to us. The miracle, however, is that God is able to use these circumstances, these "wrong" decisions, to His [and eventually our] advantage. We learn from experience. We get more attuned to His voice. So, the next time we're faced with similar situations, we're able to discern properly what to do.

So, the next time we fall down the stairs, hurt someone, or get hurt, it's not necessarily what God wants for us. Have faith however that:

All things work together for good to those who love God --Romans 8:28

Singles For Christ

2008-11-09T19:25:00.003+08:00

Yes, I'm talking about the real phrase SFC stands for. Disclaimer though... I'm not really part of SFC but our community doesn't really have much difference from it... just the name. Since birth, I've been part of a charismatic community because my parents forced me. At least, that was when I was younger. Now, I choose to belong.

Many of my friends have asked me why I attend meetings, why I choose to belong, when in fact "community" is just a front for socializing and networking, and God is just a sideline. At some degree, they're right. It's just a venue for meeting people, finding friends, and most of the time lifetime partners (I could go on with all the types of relationships you can form in community but I'll have to stop here because that will need another blog entry, but I really don't want to write about it. ANYWAY...). Yes, we do socialize. And sometimes we get carried away with the socializing (wink wink). But personally, I think serving God with people who share the same beliefs and values as you do is the main point of community.

People always think that those who attend prayer meetings are all holy and blameless and shielded from the world's cruelties and pain. SO TOTALLY WRONG. Look at me! Haha! I still sin. I still think mean things. I still have my b*tch moments. I flare up when I'm angry. My left eyebrow rises involuntarily at the sight and presence of certain people. I get depressed when I get hurt. But the difference now is -- I have friends who help me bounce back. I have older and wiser friends who can minister and disciple because they've been through similar events and God has used them as living examples that His plans always work in the end. I have people praying for me.

We're not perfect. We still go through the good and the bad. But being in community makes the bad bearable (and eventually something good), and the good even more joyous. No community is perfect. It's made up of people, and people falter most of the time. But the purpose of being in community -- to serve God and to evangelize -- makes it worthwhile. The victories outnumber the failures most of the time, too.

SFC

2008-11-03T08:16:00.001+08:00

If I ignore the acronym and the place, it usually saves my day. 50% off on hot regular and large coffee drinks until Nov. 30 at Net One, Bonifacio Global City :) I personally think it's not as great as Starbucks, but it's still coffee and it serves its purpose at a lesser price. Haha! I will have a blessed week. Hope you will too :)

Why I love Gossip Girl.

2008-11-02T22:01:00.002+08:00

The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life, the prince goes off with the wrong princess. Or the spell wears off and two lovers realize they're better off as... well, whatever they are. But I'll confess... every once in a while a girl craves her fairy tale ending.

xoxo

Meralco Theatre

2008-11-01T00:10:00.003+08:00

I have this habit of peeling off the scab of a wound prematurely so it leaves that area of the skin reddish and itchy. Sometimes, it even reopens the wound. Going to Meralco Theatre to watch Steffi compete tonight was just like that. I had to pass by C5, Silvercity Tiendesitas, Ortigas Home Depot, Metrowalk, etc. I'm hating Ortigas at the moment. I can't decide if they're good or bad memories. I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until we got to the lobby.

Oh well, alcohol always does the trick. Makes the scabbing faster. I need both the antiseptic type and the drinking type. Haha! :D

Just off the top of my head

2008-10-29T23:33:00.003+08:00

God is a good God, and He did not create the world evil. I just heard from a talk I attended tonight that people are inherently good since we are made in God's likeness. I agree. Evil therefore comes out because of our weaknesses. But, God has promised that in our weakness, He is made strong. So, that means we still have the capability to turn something evil into something good IF we let go and let God.

Stuff you should know

2008-10-29T23:00:00.002+08:00

I got a forwarded email from an ex-officemate yesterday, and some of the quotes made me laugh out loud so I thought of sharing it to the world as well (or at least those reading my blogs, thaaaanks :P). I was thinking of forwarding it but.. I wanted other people to read it without me sending mails to them. Hehe :D

"Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pag tinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon."

"Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

"Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."

"Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

"Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."
"Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."
"Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."
"dalawang dekada ka lang mag-aaral. kung 'di mo pagtityagaan, limang dekada ng kahirapan ang kapalit. sobrang lugi. kung alam lang 'yan ng mga kabataan, sa pananaw ko ehh walang gugustuhing umiwas sa eskwela."
"Mangarap ka at abutin mo. Wag mong sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta, o mga lumilipad na ipis. Kung may pagkukulang sa'yo mga magulang mo, pwde kang manisi at maging rebelde. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-asawa ka, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ka ng buhok sa kili-kili. Sa banding huli, ikaw din ang biktima. Rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili."
"Wag magmadali sa pag-aasawa. Tatlo, lima , sampung taon sa hinaharap, mag-iiba pa ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang sa kaboses niya si Debbie Gibson o magaling mag-breakdance. Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan sa eskwelahan e nagmumukha ring pandesal. Maniwala ka."

Make sense right? :)

Something about going up and crashing down.

2008-10-28T22:53:00.005+08:00

Certain events in my life have pushed me to do things I won't normally do. Like wall climbing. It's not really my thing. I'd rather be shopping you know. But... gotta give my boring life a spike. So lets go wall climbing :)

They said that the perfect place for beginners is the wall at Market! Market!. I've been there many times and just shook my head when crazy people were climbing up the walls. Now I'm one of them. And it feels great :D Kuya Reggae even gave the second climb for free since I made it the first time. Not bad for a beginner.

Mid-way up the wall, I was deciding whether to let go and just fall back down, or save my face and at least try to make it to the top. Then I saw kids (yep, kids!) climbing up the inclined (overhang? I'll be learning the terms soon :P) wall faster than Spider-man. So I thought if they can do it, so can I. Heck, I was just climbing a flat wall! Hahaha! So I made it. Whether I think I can or can't, I'm right anyway. I decided I can :) When I was already 12 meters above the ground, I thought that the hardest part would be going down. How was I going to do that?! So I was up there for a few minutes or so laughing alone and holding on to the two pieces of rock like they were the last rocks on earth. I was afraid to look down because that's what they always say, right? Never look down? Haha! Then I heard Kuya Reggae shouting "Kapit sa tali! Ako bahala sayo!" And I was like.. let go of the rocks? What's wrong with you? Then Nic, my climbing buddy, said I have to hold on to the rope so the belayer can secure me down, cos that's his job. Oh. That's his job. So when I let go of the rocks and held on to the rope, Kuya Reggae eased me down like he's been doing it all his life. (He probably has.. haha!) Crashing down has never been so easy :D

More pictures at my multiply site. Gotta be my friend first, stalkers not allowed :P

Conclusion

2008-10-24T13:57:00.000+08:00

While reading through the entries I've written, I realized I really didn't make some things clear enough. So, to finalize events, here is all I can say:

LDR does not work.

At least, it doesn't for me. It would have, you know. I was willing to wait and compromise. But, oh well. Things happen for a reason. God is busy preparing the many things he has in store for me, and I'm waiting faithfully.

So that's it. Simple and concise. Let's not go for strike 3 ok? :)

Status Report

2008-10-21T14:25:00.005+08:00

Many have asked if I'm ok because I haven't written anything for a few days now. Yes, I am. You must remember that I write best when I'm overwhelmed with emotions. And now that I got my act back, I'm able to focus more on other things like work and my social life. I'm actually doing better than expected. A friend told me it's good that I'm not falling apart. Oh, but I did! I did fall apart. Who wouldn't? I just have a great support system who put humpty dumpty back together.

People who know me well know that I think obsessively. And for the past weeks, I have been contemplating on the things happening to my life. Was it my fault? Could I have done anything to prevent it from happening? Am I really mad? And I realized the answers to these questions are all no. Probably, my only fault was trusting too much, being complacent and over-estimating capabilities of others to foresee the consequences of their actions. And nothing in my power could've prevented this from happening. As I've said in one of my first entries, it was bound to happen. As for anger, I really am not mad. Other friends are telling me I should be bitter with all that happened. Yes, sometimes I am. But since I've been in the other side of the coin at some point in my life, I understand how it feels too. I know that it never was the intention to hurt someone else. But then again, you allowed for it to happen so... that's what you get when you let your heart win (whoooaaaa). I strongly suggest to use your brain as well sometimes.

My prayer these days is not for them to fall into a manhole (just trying to be funny), but for no one to feel what I'm feeling. I pray that everyone's happy. That this won't happen AGAIN (if you know what I mean..). Because no one deserves to feel this kind of pain. I've forgiven, but it's too hard to forget just yet. My prayers have been working wonders for me these past few weeks and I know it will continue to sustain me and hopefully everyone else in the future. Hopefully, this is the last entry on this topic. But who knows, right? :P It's like I'm in a precipice and any gush of wind will send me crashing back down. But I'll be optimistic for a change. Let's not feel sad for me already. Let's not hurt for me. Time to move on for real :D

What's wrong with the male population?

2008-10-15T17:41:00.003+08:00

Comfort food (I'm eating now) for shitty times. Jaui and I decided to have lunch at Serendra and ponder on why men have to make things difficult. We just recently realized that all the stress and hyperventilation and pressure are coming from the men in our lives - officemates, fiances, exes. All men. We were about to get coffee from Coffee Bean High Street and do more XY bashing when a group of male foreigners blocked our way and one of them greeted us. The conversation (if you call it a conversation) went something like this:

XY chromosome: Ahh.. pretty ladies!
XX chromosomes: [looking at each other, thinking if we're supposed to run away now]
XY chromosome: I'm a decent man, with a decent job. I'm a good guy. And I'm looking for someone who could perhaps have dinner with me and get to know me...
XX chromosome (me): Sorry, we're not available [starts to walk away]
XY chromosome: [looking at Jaui] Ah but she is! (comment lang: OH THE IRONIES OF LIFE! HAHAHA)
XX crhomosome (Jaui): Sorry, I'm not. [walking away now]

So there. We got (in)decent proposals at lunch hour at Boni High Street. We were laughing all the way back to the office.

Again.. my ultimate question for the month: What's wrong with the male population?

XY

2008-10-14T16:40:00.001+08:00

Interesting day so far.

Super duper great coffee (I think the baristas know I'm going through something... they're putting something in there, I swear). Healthy lunch (at least I think it's healthy). Not so healthy but super yummy dessert. Then worship tonight. So far so good :D

The past week has been a rollercoaster ride and my emotions are on the extremes, but I am slowly mastering the art of diversion. The fact that my blogs aren't as heavy and as poetic(poetic nga ba? :P) as before should mean something, right? Right. And after spending the weekend in hibernation and shopping, I have come to accept (another acceptance) that the XY chromosome is complex. If women are algebra, then they're calculus. I was never good at calculus.

Today is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it :P

Ditto

2008-10-13T15:55:00.004+08:00

Heard this on the radio and I just can't stop smiling. :D Beyonce couldn't have said it in a better way :P

If I were a boy
I think that I’d understand
how it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
cause I know how it hurts
when you lose the one you wanted
cause he’s taken you for granted
and everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy
You don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything that you had got destroyed
But your just a boy

It's not the end of the world.

2008-10-10T15:05:00.002+08:00

Wallowing-in-self-pity phase is done. Let's move on to the count-your-blessings phase. :D This blog is already weighed down by the raw emotions it carries. So to balance stuff, let's look at the bright side of things.

A friend told me I can still act normal and bash people and feel bitter. But I am normal without the bashing and the bitterness (ok fine.. just a little bit bitter :P). I found out that when you get immensely hurt, you have no energy left to feel anything else. Instead, you unconsciously focus on healing and getting back on your feet. And the bashing and the most part of the bitterness will be taken care of by your loyal and faithful friends. :D

If there's one thing that I'm thankful for (inspite of all the events that happened), it's the overflowing number of friends I didn't realize I have. And if it were not for certain people, I would never have met them at all and they wouldn't have been here for me at the time I needed them most. Every night is coffee night and the weekend is booked with activities with different people. I've never been this in-demand in the last few years :P

So, so what right? I'm still a rock star and I've got my rock moves and I'm alright and I'm just fine. At day 4, I'm acknowledging that God is able to turn mourning into dancing in His own time. And even though I'm not feeling like the dancing has started yet, I have faith that God will never allow His beautiful children to get stuck in mourning for a long time. I'm trading my sorrows, I'm trading my pain, I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord. :)

So one day at a time. Start it with a prayer, a little bit of makeup, and a tall hot hazelnut latte. Before I even realize it, work is done and I'm having coffee again, decaf this time, with people who matter. Another day ends and I find myself looking forward to the next one :)

Life's consolations

2008-10-09T15:11:00.003+08:00

Since my body is rejecting all kinds of solid food, I'm trying to drink as much as I can. Comfort drinks for shitty times :D

And I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the people who bought them for me (yes, got them all for free!!!! sucker for freebies :P)

- Yesterday's drink was sponsored by a barista from Starbucks San Antonio Village.
- Today's drink was sponsored by Jaui.
- Today's lunch (still in liquid form) was sponsored by Consuelo.

More power to you friends who offer consolation prizes in life. You never know what free drinks can do for a damaged heart.

Back to normal.

2008-10-08T16:28:00.004+08:00

Around me, everything seems so normal. The boys banter around like they always do. Emails arrive from the usual people. All issues are flagged critical and I don't know which one I should prioritize. But inside... everything's changed.

They say it will get better in time. I know that. But right now... the pain just envelopes me.

I have my support system. And everything seems ok and better when they're around. But when I'm alone in my room or in my cube.. it's a totally different story.

At least I know each day is better than the previous one. .01% progress is better than none at all. I wonder how long I have to keep writing before I can look back on all the entries and just laugh it off..

A friend says my smile brightens up his day. (Now I've heard/read that before. Wonder when/where.. hehe) If only he knew that the happiest smile masks the saddest heart.

Night and Day

2008-10-07T08:23:00.002+08:00

The nights are tolerable, but it's the waking up to a bright morning that will probably send you crashing down. Maybe because at night, when everything is dark, you feel the world is cooperating with you. It mourns while you mourn. It grieves while you grieve. It's able to mask the sadness, the hurt.

But bright mornings? There's no place to hide. You pray that there will be some comfort during the day that you'll have to endure. But prayer and divine intervention aside, you still can't numb the pain. And the world goes on. With all its beauty and cheerfulness. And you have to go through it everyday until the wound becomes a scab... then a scar. And all you can do is pray that you don't bump into anything that will rub it raw and open again.

Happiness is a choice, love is a commitment.

2008-10-06T23:07:00.002+08:00

First was fear that my instincts were correct. Then came the denial. Then the shortness of breath, the shaking of the hands, and then the tears waiting to pour like water in a dam with leaks. I should've known. It was a time bomb waiting to explode. And explode it did.

I always thought that stuff like this only happens in movies and soaps. But almost all of us, me included, forget that those stories are reflections of life's realities. The actors cry buckets of tears. And so do the humans.

Does it hurt? Hurt is an understatement. The physical pain associated with it is NOTHING compared to the pain the heart -- and the soul -- are feeling. In loving, you submit yourself not to the possibility of getting hurt but to the assurance that you will get hurt. There are no possibilities. Only assurances.

Am I ok? Yes, but of course I've known better times. You cannot take away from me my grateful heart. And I thank the Lord every time I wake up for the glorious life he has planned out for me. I stumble, often times on people's feet they (un)consciously stick out before me and I fall flat on the floor sometimes... but at the end of the day I get up and know that the best is yet to come.

"For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope." -- Jeremiah 29:11

Am I angry? I'd be a hypocrite if I say I didn't feel angry. But anger will just make my shoulders hurt even more. So instead of feeling angry, I focus on the good vibes. I am thankful that the bomb exploded now while there's still so much to save and evacuate. I choose to be happy. Someone I know used to tell me that happiness is a choice, and for that nugget of wisdom I am thankful to him. I choose to be happy and stay happy despite the disastrous circumstances I'm in.

I write not to ask for sympathy. I write to heal. And the healing starts now.

One Big Fight.

2008-09-25T18:47:00.005+08:00

So we lost.

I guess my alma mater won't be happy I'm using "THE" Ateneo's cheer as title for my blog. (RP said to always say "the", pronounced as thee take note, before saying Ateneo. The Ateneo.) I never really understood the hype over the rivalry. It's not as if La Sallians and Ateneans can't get along. More so, I never understood how the good tickets are always sold out, but can be bought more than 5x the original price from scalpers and resellers. Good thing we have a TV in the pantry (where the fanatics were having coffee and taking a break from work). But when the announcer said last two minutes!!! and Ateneo was up by 10pts (if I remember correctly), I started feeling guilty about watching TV during work hours. So I went back to work :P

Bad game for DLSU (of course it's bad. We lost). And Maierhoffer got thrown out of the game. Tsk. The only redeeming factor for me is: Chris Tiu is h-o-t. I can't help but cheer when he's the one making the shots. Oh right, he's an Atenean. Oh well. So no redeeming factor for me. ~~There really aren't any players in La Salle's line-up that can equal/surpass Chris Tiu's hotness. End of story.~~ I stand corrected. May gwapo naman pala sa DLSU.. Simon Atkins :x

So... congratulations my Ateneo friends (RP, Jaui, Ann, PJ, Aldy, Rica, the rest of the gang). It has been 6 years after all :) Might as well get a taste of winning the championships. Haha! :D

Expand!

2008-09-18T23:13:00.003+08:00

The blessings of the Lord is commensurate to how much you can take.

If only most people would realize that self-worth is as important as bank accounts, we'd be saving the world from a lot of poverty. Yeah, it sounds too ideal.. too theoretical. But you have to admit, if we just thought more highly of ourselves, life can be a whole lot better.

I just came from a short talk by Alvin Barcelona on financial literacy (yeehhheesss... hahaha) and he said one of the top reasons why most Filipinos are poor is because they don't think they can ever be rich. How sad. But true. Perfect example is our household helper.. manang. I was cooking pasta a few weekends ago and I offered her a portion. She politely refused kase pang mayaman lang ang spagiti (spaghetti is only for the rich). If I didn't know manang well enough, I'd say she's just making up an excuse so she won't have to eat what I cooked. But, that's not the case. Promise. The pasta I cooked only had tomatoes (canned) and mushrooms and spices (from mom's pantry). Total cost: ~200Php Servings: ~4 so that makes it ~50Php per serving. I know food preference doesn't exactly determine financial wealth. What I'm highlighting here is the mentality. If you think you don't deserve something being given to you, regardless if the Giver thinks you deserve it, then it won't be given to you. Simple as that. Mom had an extra serving of pasta that weekend.

I still have hopes for manang that she'll be rich, too, someday. I have a long way to go in my personal mission to help her, and my first step is to make her realize that food isn't categorized (like humans in society) into food for the rich and food for the poor. It's just a matter of preference. And as for you and me, let's learn to expand. Expand our borders, our territories, our responsibilities, and our spiritual vessels so we can accommodate all the ~~good~~ great things we deserve.

For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away. --Mt 25:29

The Shack

2008-09-12T11:19:00.005+08:00

Mack lost his daughter Missy during a camping trip, and found her bloody dress in a rundown shack miles away from their camp site after several days of searching. Authorities never found her body nor her killer. A few years later, he receives a note apparently from God, inviting him to go back to the shack and spend the weekend with Him. Mack thought it was either a bad joke being played on him, or it really was God inviting him. Out of curiousity, he went on the trip expecting the worst.

If I could spend a weekend with God, how will I spend it? I mean.. should I ask Him the questions that humanity has been asking since the dawn of time: why does he allow bad things happen to good people, am I really going to be punished for all the times I lied, what happens to those people who don't believe in Him, which religion should I believe in? What should I expect him to look like? Will he be like Zeus in Disney's Hercules? Or will he look like Gandalf in Lord of the Rings? Is he really old-looking? What does heaven look like? Is it really guarded by a golden gate? Is it really up in the clouds?

Growing up, I've been raised a Catholic and I've been "programmed" to follow Catholic principles. Follow the commandments. Never miss mass on Sundays. Don't fall asleep during the homily. Love God with all your heart. Be nice to your sister. Be charitable to the less fortunate. Pray. Be afraid of the Lord because He punishes those who don't follow Him. Be good. Abhor evil. Not only that, my childhood and growing years were flooded with religious stereotypes. Cartoons and movies depicted God as an old guy with white robes and long gray hair and a loud booming voice, and heaven is a golden city up on the clouds.

After reading The Shack, it's like I've been reformatted and booted up with a new system, a new outlook and thinking. All the things I thought were true and righteous were debunked, and were replaced by new beliefs and values. Like Mack, my view of God changed into a deeper, more personal level. He doesn't look like Zeus after all :P And heaven isn't made of gold. It's amazing how many realizations were made and how many ideologies and theories were challenged and proven self-righteous in a few hundred pages. Being religious doesn't necessarily mean being faithful. Being good in our eyes does not necessarily mean being good in God's eyes. If there is one fictional book that you'll have to read for the month, grab The Shack (Yes, this is higher than Twilight in my list of favorites.). If it doesn't change how you look at humanity and how you view God and your relationship with Him, let me know. I'll have to treat you to a retreat and a session with a counselor or something. Haha!

When we leave our comfort zone, growth.

2008-09-09T13:32:00.006+08:00

I was browsing through the comments section of one of my favorite bloggers and one of his friends left a comment:

When we leave our comfort zone, growth.

It struck a raw nerve. Because I am comfortable in a few aspects of my life right now. (I'm highlighting the word FEW. There are still areas in my life that I would want to be comfortable in, pero hindi ako dyosa..not too perfect you know:P) And haven't you noticed that I only write when I feel strongly about something or when I have a realization that I want to share with the world? I don't blog about stuff like my dog peed on the post of our stairs this morning. So anyway, before I stray too far from the topic, I cannot agree more with what he said. When we become comfortable, we fall into a routine and the next series of events become predictable. When people ask me how I am these days, I answer "same old same old". And I feel now that that's not entirely good.

It dawned on me that I might be experiencing quarter-life crisis.. wanting growth and looking for change to trigger growth... nurture my spirituality... live independently and boost my career. I think most of my friends are going thru the same thing. But then again, I know most adults who are way past their early 20s, but are still in a similar kind of predicament.

Sometimes, I feel that I'm living below my potential (right now). And that's probably the triggering factor why I'm feeling routinized. And now that i know that I can do way better than this, perform better when I have the proper mindset, I have already made the first step in instigating change.

Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown. --Author unknown

Retail therapy

2008-09-05T14:22:00.001+08:00

For the past months, I have been indulging on my favorite hobby. Shopping. After getting myself insurance and a retirement plan (ha!), I vowed to curb my spending habits and focus on the goal: save enough to pay for the premiums.

But retail therapy is just so... appetizing. Getting something shiny and new beats indulging in ice cream and chocolate. I reallocate my resources if I have to. It's one of the spikes in my monotonous life line. (But don't worry, it's not as if I'm wallowing in debt or anything.. I still keep my finances in check, thank you very much).

But when the glow of the shiny, sparkly item is gone.. so is the excitement that came when it was bought. And then I realize (again) that retail therapy can only cure so much. A little over a few weeks to be exact. And life is back to its normal rate. And then I wait until I have pooled enough resources so I could spike it up (again). And a new cycle begins (again).

Sometimes, I wonder what it feels like to be on the other side of the game: be the retailer instead of the buyer. Will I feel the same high when I'm able to make people believe that this bag is the next "it" bag of the season so they'll buy my stuff? (I'd probably hoard items for myself. Haha!) That thought crossed my mind so many times that I sometimes think I'm in the wrong industry. But I haven't had *the* passion to push through with the idea. Well, at least, not YET.

What is it with women and shopping?! Tsk :P

Bester

2008-09-04T21:45:00.006+08:00

Some things change...
From Backstreet Boys, Algebra problems, first boyfriends, physics long tests, lazy summer afternoons...
To Edward Cullen, career paths, Nth boyfriends and lost loves, once-in-a-blue-moon night outs...
But some never will. Bester to the end my one and only :)

New Look

2008-09-02T23:22:00.006+08:00

Yipee! A more personalized look for my site :D

Well.. not really personalized cos I got the theme from multiply. But at least it shows off a bit more of my personality :P And my rusty CSS skills.. haha! The last time I used CSS was 2 years ago.. so I had to do a lot of trial-and-error. But it worked :D

Special thanks to

It's just emotions.

2008-08-31T21:42:00.004+08:00

My sister was studying for an exam (while I was blogging away about Breaking Dawn) when she read aloud a text that she thought I might be interested in:

Bottling up of emotions leads to physical discomfort and muscular pain. Anger is frequently trapped in the muscles of the shoulders. Grief in the muscles surrounding the stomach. And fear in the leg muscles.

Often, this trapped emotion can lead to a chronic postural problem.

--Wilhelm Reich

Oooh... lots of anger bottled up inside :D Or maybe I just need new pillows and try a new sleeping position. Hehe :D

Broken Dawn

2008-08-31T20:48:00.007+08:00

While I'm at it, might as well post a review on the book. Spoilers ahead. But by this time, every fan must have read the book already. If you haven't, you really didn't miss anything spectacular.

So for those reading my page (thanks. haha), my addiction to the vampires is bordering on abnormal. I've been waiting for ages for the last installment of the series, and once it was delivered on my doorstep (office reception) I read it like there was no more tomorrow.

Until I got to the chapters where Bella and Edward had sex. (Goodness). And Bella got pregnant. (Huwat?!) And she gave birth to Renesmee (Seriously.) And best friend werewolf Jacob imprinted on Renesmee (Noo... Seriously.) And Edward called Jacob "son". (What the F. What's wrong with you.)

I wasn't entirely disappointed, actually. Twilight Saga still ranks as my favorite. But Breaking Dawn kind of normalized my obsession. And I don't like my obsession being normalized. Abnormality makes it exciting. And now, it's just normal.

I guess the only disappointment I had with the book is its lack of action. Nothing exciting happened (aside from Bella giving birth.. that was a different kind of excitement. Not a good one.). Every loose end of the story was tied up in a neat little bow. And as humans, we clamor for struggle and tension in a story.. we clamor for something we can relate to. Even though its fiction. And in my opinion, that was what Breaking Dawn lacked. It would have been better if one of the wolves died. Or Jacob died saving Edward from the Volturi attack (if there was an attack). But that's just my fanfiction. I'm still giving Meyer credit for the whole Twilight Saga. Of course, it still had its kilig moments (Bella and Edward's wedding). But other than that, the story was sailing on a calm ocean. On a clear day. Without a bird in the sky.

You get the point.

Nothing

2008-08-31T20:35:00.004+08:00

Ok.. so August flew by without a word from me. I would like to say that I've been busy, but busy is not in my vocabulary right now. Im downright bored. And to say that I'm bored is.. a pity.

It's almost the end of August in a few hours and as I come to think of any momentous event that happened that I can reflect on tonight.. I am stumped. Aside from the fact that I've read tons of books, watched movies on WinDVD, and the occasional calls with RP, my August has been uneventful. Oh scrap that. I almost forgot about my date w/ my best friend. Rewrite: Aside from the books, downloaded movies, weekend calls to the US, and the dinner date last Friday, August has been uneventful.

What a complete opposite from my previous entry. *Sigh*

This past weekend, I've been catching up on movies that I missed on the big screen. Just a few minutes ago, I finished watching Wanted. And now that I think about it... I must be reacting to Wesley's parting question: What the F have you done lately? My answer: Nothiiiiiiiinnng.

A Piece of Heaven

2008-07-31T20:59:00.004+08:00

I got 4 books at discounted prices and 1 book free from Fully Booked Boni High Street. Now, I'm fully booked till the next sale :P
I got a free Chai Tea Latte after lunch and a free Double Vanilla Tea Latte after dinner from Coffee Bean.
I hung out with a friend/distant relative at Seattle's after work.

Yey for discounts, freebies, and good conversation. Life is great :D

Grace for free

2008-07-24T20:33:00.007+08:00

I was reading my daily dose of reflections from Didache, and it struck a raw nerve so I felt compelled to share it with you.

Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand.
Matthew 13:13

Hugh Hefner, the flamboyant founder of the Playboy porn empire, will never understand what faithfulness in marriage means even after reading 300,000 books on the subject. At the age of 80, he currently has three hot blondes sharing his bed as his stay-in concubines. (He used to have seven but he decided to downsize.)
A Filipino actor-turned-politician who boasts of his record of 86 children from different women, will never understand the Christian Parenting seminar being taught in the church across the street where he lives.
A BIR officer of the country, whose pocket is padded from under the table deals will never understand a sermon on honesty. Why? Not because the ideas are too complex. Even children know how to explain faithfulness, responsibility and honesty. Truth is, understanding brings guilt. Understanding requires repentance as a response. This is the part they dont like. Sin blinds the eyes, plugs the ears and dulls understanding.
Two things can make you understand: Gods mercy or His judgment. Choose His mercy now! You might not like His judgment if its too late. --Jon Escoto

It simply is the truth. Even though God's forgiveness and grace is just within our reach, we choose (subconsciously in most cases) not to receive it because that means acknowledging our worldliness and letting go of the things we enjoy that are not necessarily pleasing to God's eyes.

Something serious to post for a change :D

Science fiction for people who don't like science fiction

2008-07-23T21:45:00.009+08:00

So I don't only read about vampires, but I also read about aliens. My coolness meter just went up a few more levels. Hehehe :D

I never understood all the hype about sci fi, so I never read anything related to that.. until Meyer published The Host. I was hesitant at first because it was about alien invasion -- yikes. But after reading the chapters posted on her site, I got the book and read through it in a week. I was half expecting Edward to appear somewhere in the middle of the story :P I officially have a new favorite author. Thank goodness Meyer isn't a one-hit-wonder.

The best thing about the book is probably being able to make sci-fi readable for non sci-fi readers. Aliens, called Souls, that looked like silvery living ribbons invade earth by taking over human bodies, and then turn the world into the ultimate paradise -- all types of cancer are cured, no wars, no theft, no crimes, no bad anything. Not as half-bad as it sounds. But then, the human hosts, once taken over by a soul, no longer have control over their own minds and body and eventually lose their identity. Naturally, the remaining humans hide and fight for their survival. But after one of them gets caught, they realize that it's still possible to co-exist with the parasite and forge deep and meaningful relationships with someone (or something :P) from another race. More so, they realize that being human does not necessarily mean being parasite-free. Being human should be measured instead by the compassion and kindness you show others regardless if they're aliens, humans, or vampires. :P

I probably should give reading fiction a rest and switch back to self-help. My right brain is so worked up these days, don't you think? :P

Rome in 15 HOURS

2008-07-23T20:38:00.023+08:00

***taken from my multiply***

Never in my wildest dreams did I actually think that I'll get to visit Rome. Not only is the ticket expensive, it's too far from the Philippines :P The farthest I've been to is our province in Butuan. But the Lord has blessed me and I was able to reach Italy and get back to Sweden alive to write about the trip. So, for those planning to go on a Euro trip and Rome is in your itinerary (and it should be!!), I hope this helps.

Rome is the capital of Italy and is known as the la Citta Eterna (the Eternal City). It's pretty congested (w/ people), almost like Manila.. low-rise apartments, laundry hanging to dry on the balcony and rooftops, vandalism in every corner.. think Ermita or Intramuros and central Rome is just like that. Good thing that the famous architectures, museums, and Piazzas were well worth the trip. If it's your first time in Rome and you only have 15 hours to tour, it's better to take advantage of the hop on-hop off tour buses. I think the standard price is 16EUR for a day-pass. You won't be able to go to all the famous places (Rome wasn't built in a day, and you can't tour it in one day either :P) but you're sure that you'll get to see the top 10 places at least. Read on and I'll bring you (virtually) to the spots we visited :P

Bocca della Verita If you've seen the film Only You (Robert Downey Jr & Marisa Tomei), this monument will be very familiar to you. The Mouth of Truth is the lie detector of Ancient Rome. Legend has it that it will bite off your hand if you're telling a lie while your hand is in the mouth of the sculpture.

Piazza Navona This Piazza is one of the most famous squares in Rome. It houses Bernini's famous Fontana dei Quattro Fiumi (Fountain of the Four Rivers) and Porta's Fontana di Nettuno and Fontana del Moro. When we were there, Fontana dei Quattro Fiumi was under restoration and was protected by glass windows. So.. too bad for us. It reminded me of Eastwood: human statues (like the one here with the moving mermaids) and an open market full of people selling paintings and other artsy fartsy stuff. Take note.. Italians have love handles too. Mabuhay ang love handles!!!

Pantheon While looking for the Pantheon, we passed by a lot of small streets. So you can just imagine our surprise when we turned around the corner and ended up in a square with a majestic building in the center. Small street after small street then Pantheon. huuwaaat?! It was sooo crowded with people all wanting to take pictures of the famous dome. The Pantheon, in ancient times, was a temple for the gods, then converted into a Christian church, then converted into a tomb. Multipurpose :P The hole on the top of the dome is supposed to be symbolic of the sun, and is the only source of light of the whole structure.

Basilica di San Pietro Goodness gracious great balls of fire.This has to be the highlight of my whole visit in Rome. Words can't even describe how spectacular the Basilica is. Everywhere you look, there are sculptures or paintings, or etching or whatever artwork you can think of. And the sculptures!!! They're bigger than life-size!!! Hands down to Bernini. Did you know that the Basilica was built on top of St. Peter's burial site? Yep. Kurek. The popes are also buried here.. but no pictures allowed inside the mausoleum. And here's the thing.. water from the fountains are drinkable... so we had our refills there. To save our pocket money cos water's expensive :P BTW, watch out for the guards.. Not because they're strict but.. because they're drop-dead gorgeous.

Colosseum This doesn't need any intro. You all know what this is. You haven't been to Rome if you don't have a picture with the Colosseum as background. We weren't able to go inside cos it closed early. To those who don't know what the Colosseum is (shame on you), it was used before as venue for gladiatorial shows - like the movie Gladiator (Russell Crowe). While in the area, we also visited the Arch of Constantine and the Roman Forums, but really didn't appreciate it cos it was too dark.

Fontana di Trevi This should've been the last stop of the day because we were already sooo tired from walking. So from the Colosseum, we walked to Fontana di Trevi because there were no more tour buses at this time and we didn't want to waste our precious Euros on public transpo :P I'm telling you.. I've never walked this much in all my life. So finally, we reached the Fountain.. This was already around 11:45PM and the place was jam-packed. We literally had to squeeze in with other tourists to take a picture. It's tradition to throw a coin into the fountain to ensure your return to Rome.. so I threw 2 coins so I'll return to Rome twice. After the long walk and picture galore.. we got gelatos (2.50 euros, 3 flavors)... It looks good and it tastes even better :P Good bye Cold Rock. Because we got recharged after eating ice cream (sugar rush), we decided to check out one last stop...

Piazza de Spagna This place looked really good in the pictures. But unfortunately.. it was not so photogenic when we got there. The Spanish Steps had this big ad at the top, there were no flowers lined up, and it was full of locals. Hang-out place for them. So.. after ONE picture, we got a cab and left. Hehe.

Of course, we needed a place to stay (sleep for 5hrs is more like it) in Rome, and hotels were out of the question. We simply couldn't afford it. Well, we actually can, but we chose to be frugal and spend the allowance on other stuff :P So, we stayed at Domus Diana, a Bed & Breakfast within walking distance from the Colosseum and the Termini Station. Super affordable and it served its purpose -- a place to sleep. Diana was there herself to welcome us and showed us around her place. No air-conditioning, but the weather was great when we were there.

So there. It's as if you've been to Rome as well :P The sad part of the trip is we weren't able to go inside the Vatican or the Colosseum.. that would've made the trip even better. I'll save it for next time, since I'm returning there anyway :P Ciao!!!

Female Rants

2008-07-21T22:45:00.004+08:00

Since Sunday, I've been thinking about the pair of black flats in Aldo that were on sale. I should've gotten them when I had the chance. So, being me, I went back for it during lunch break today. A couple of supportive friends were with me. When I got to the store, Christian picked up a pair of shoes on sale for 1K. Too good to pass up for men's shoes. And being surrounded with female friends getting all excited when "shoes" and "sale" are put together in one sentence didn't really help him stand firm on his saving principles. So, he got them.

But my luck was running low today when the sales lady came back from the storage without a pair of the flats in my size. I shouldn't have encouraged Christian to get those shoes. Nobody can be happy if I'm not happy. Hehe. We're still friends. I just can't believe that I'm walking out of the store without a shopping bag for myself. Huhu.

So after work, I went off to Rockwell with another friend, praying that there will be some blessings waiting for me at Aldo. But there were none. The biggest size they had for any pair of flats were too small for me. So I went to Zara. But I neither fit size 8 nor 9. I decided to try to look for some insoles so I could force my feet to fit into size 9. But Rustan's was only selling branded insoles for 179 pesos. Not worth it. And all this time, my friend was tagging along with me. I have great friends, don't you think?

So moral of the story, check out the stores during the first week of their sale so they still have stock.

And when something is not meant for you, the Lord will show you by somehow blocking everything you are trying to do to get that something. Like clearing out all sizes for a pair of shoes that you really really want. Sigh.

So much for the Twilight Hiatus

2008-07-12T22:36:00.005+08:00

I'm not really a fan of vampire romance, you know. Really.

Twilight Hiatus

2008-07-12T22:07:00.006+08:00

I was trying to go on a break from all this Twilight addiction... until I got a message from a friend that Powerbooks is now accepting pre-orders for the final installment in the series: Breaking Dawn. Of course, I ordered mine right away and had it delivered to my office on August 4, for just PhP 473.00 (shipping included). Yaaaahooo!!! Just a few days left! So what do I do to pass time? Read the series all over again. Haha!

I'm fantasy-based

2008-07-12T21:31:00.005+08:00

People whose left brains are dominant are usually good in math and science, uses logic, and reality based. People whose right brains are dominant, on the other hand, are good in philosophy and religion, uses feelings, and fantasy based.

For the longest time, I've been made to believe that right-handed people use their left brains and left-handed people use their right brains. I'm right-handed. So I've always thought that I use my left brain more often than not. Plus the fact that I'm in the IT business, a technical consultant to be exact, it only made more sense to me that I use the logical and anayltical side of my brain.

That's until a friend made me take a test to see what part of my brain I use more often. I'm seeing the silhouette turn clockwise... and that's when I learned my left brain is dead. Ok.. so it's not really dead. I was able to see the dancer turn counter-clockwise for about 5 seconds and that's it (and after some nosebleed for trying to look too hard). So my left brain is.. near-death. I showed the website to other friends and officemates, and it's amazing because they can control the way the silhouette turns. They can make her dance. (Of course, the men notice the bra-less chest before they realize what the point of the test is. :P) Both sides of their brains are used equally, while mine at this point in time is only using the right side. How pitiful.

So this is probably why I'm impulsive, into fictional and romantic stuff, and all that. :D That explains it then :))

I love the Philippines!

2008-06-23T22:07:00.005+08:00

OK.. so remember I was waiting for inspiration to hit me so I can start writing about something else other than stuff concerning fictional characters? Well now.. I'm inspired. Sort of.

Two close friends just left for Singapore last week. Another close friend will be leaving for US in August. A close friend from the office will be leaving for St. Paul on Sunday. Another one will be leaving for Germany this Saturday. And another one will be leaving on the last week of June for another company.

My boyfriend isn't coming back until Christmas. My college bestfriends aren't coming back from Singapore until November next year.

Get the point? Ugh. Too many people leaving at the same time. Too many people not coming back for a long time. My sanity now is precariously hanging on the edge of a cliff. No wonder I find solace in fictional characters.

Is the country becoming so hopeless that people seek greener pastures (read: higher pay) in other countries? My patriotic friend, who makes me feel guilty for working for an American firm, is in Singapore. Haha. Peace, friend :D No.. this really isn't about people leaving because of our lack of patriotism.. I'm just scared to follow them. Haha! Anyway, this blog isn't meant to criticize Filipinos working abroad. In fact, I have high regards for OFWs. Keep the remittances coming! :P I just really wanted to get "it" out of my system. "it" meaning getting left behind.

Thank God for YM and PLDT Budget Cards.

Vampires and Werewolves. Agaaaiiiin.

2008-06-23T20:17:00.012+08:00

I've been waiting for inspiration to strike.. and try to write about more pressing issues (like.. global warming!) other than vampires and werewolves.. but my muses have taken a leave. All but one - my muse for Twilight related stuff. Eew. Haha! I just have to admit... I'm addicted. Addicted to the plot, the story, the characters, everything! I realize that others are not really as interested in all this young adult fiction nonsense, so if you're one of them, you can close your browser now :) You've been warned :P

I didn't like New Moon as much as I loved Twilight. The story took a sad turn and there was less Edward-Bella action. Now that I think of it.. that's probably one of the main reasons I wasn't in love with New Moon - there weren't enough hyperventilating moments, less Edward exposure. Nevertheless, Bella's character still fascinates me. It's like, I can sympathize with her. It's creepy, but I can predict her choices before I even read the next lines or turn the page. It's like seeing my thoughts on print. (Weirdo alert!) Actually, it's more of like re-living past memories (past break-ups to be exact). It reminded me of the days when I was holding up the pretense that my world was normal, but the moment I hit the pillows, the sadness took over. Okay, too much info there. But you get the point. I'm a hopeless romantic to the end. And that's what the book was about.

Now Eclipse.. this is definitely better than New Moon. Because there was more Edward in the story. Haha! But seriously, I liked it better because the Edward-Bella relationship has progressed to the next level. It already has a sense of maturity, and it's no longer the high school love team from Twilight that my 13-yr old cousin would have probably related to better. It's rare that you find your one true love (i feel so corny for writing that down and publishing this blog) in high school. I doubt that even happens in real life. But, as a co-Twilight fan and friend has read from Meyer's site: Bella has only fallen in love and it was a very sudden, dramatic, sweep-you-off-your-feet, change-your-world, magical, passionate, all-consuming thing. When that happens to someone, or when you read about that happening to someone (fiction or non-fiction), you can't help but share the feeling right? :) I'm just justifying my emotions here, so spare me :P Plus, I identify with Bella's mantra very well: when torn between two options, choose the one you can't live without.. choose the one you are committing to. It's also in Meyer's site that I read this line that struck a raw nerve... I just agree with it in so many ways: The bottom line is that you have to choose who you are going to commit to—that's the foundation of true love, not a lack of other options.

Gah. So now I have a month and a half before the next and final installment of the series comes out - Breaking Dawn. That's a month and a half for me to focus on ther issues (yey!). A month and a half to ease myself back to reality and face it that I'm not a Cullen after all. :P A month and a half to rest from this Twilight mania that might be getting boring already for my friends :P

P.S.
I was just thinking about it.. A few months from now, when the Twilight mania has subsided, I will really laugh at myself for getting in too deep into this dark romance series. But you know me.. once I get started on an addiction, I follow through (i.e. Backstreet Boys). Ok, too much info again. Haha!

And the lion fell in love with the lamb..

2008-06-15T21:49:00.015+08:00

What a stupid lamb!

Is it possible to be so engrossed in a book that you feel the heroine's hyperventilation and pain? Yes. I am beyond crazy about this book.. I'm obsessed. Haha! Meyer's uncanny ability to describe Edward's character (and I should emphasize the way his physical appearance is described) is unbelievable. My mom even commented the same thing. Yes, I influenced my mom to read the book. See the age range this book encompasses? 13-year-old cousin to 50something-year-old mom.

Twilight has nearly everything - drama, romance, suspense, and hot, gorgeous fictional characters. That's what I love about books, really. They take you to a parallel world where hot fictional characters exist and you feel so involved in the story. And sometimes, the real world makes more sense than it did before. And they almost get you convinced that it's not so bad to be bitten by a vampire. Haha!

At first glance, Twilight seems like the typical young adult novel with the normal vampire-human love affair (as if that's really normal). The prey and the predator fall in love. But after reading much further, you realize that it captures the whole essence of love and relationship.. that one is willing to sacrifice for the other and vice versa. Of course, it also helps that Edward Cullen and his family are dazzling.. and hot.. and gorgeous.

As I've posted earlier, a movie adaptation is coming up by next year. I have high expectations for this film because the book set the bar high. I even heard from somewhere (Entertainment Tonight, I think..) that the fan base is even bigger now than Harry Potter. Whoa.

So.. next book on the list: New Moon. Twilight's sequel :D Until then.

Happy Father's Day!

2008-06-15T21:45:00.004+08:00

It must be hard for families to celebrate Father's day when the father has already passed away or is in a foreign land trying to meet the needs of his family. But, I think it must be harder for the families whose fathers are around, but aren't really around for the family to appreciate him and give him tribute today. Nevertheless, Happy Father's Day to all the dads :)

Reminiscing Summer

2008-06-13T21:21:00.012+08:00

Well, there's not much reminiscing to do really since you can still fry an egg on top of your car outside. It still feels like summer even though we're already midway of June. Two words: global warming. Anyway, that's not what this blog is about. My one and only beach outing this summer was with my family -- off to Boracay.. the staple of every Filipino's summer vacation :P My Auntie (her secretary actually) got a reeeaaaally great package with Patio Pacific and SEAIR. We got a great deal for 3 days 2 nights and loved every minute of it.

The first time I went to Boracay with boyfriend and friends, I demanded that we take the Kalibo flight. I was super scared to ride the small planes which had direct flights to Caticlan. I wanted to come back to work.. alive =)) But since the package was that we fly with seair, I really had no choice. Surprisingly though, the experience with seair was great. The FA was accomodating, seats were good, flight was on time (their 35-minute ad is true), and most of all.. I'm still alive and blogging today. I'll definitely be flying with them again soon... to Palawan perhaps? :)

As for the accomodations.. I have nothing but praises for Patio Pacific!!! The staff were all friendly, rooms were reeeeaaalllly super nice, the bathrooms.. spectacular. Hehe! I'm not really entirely ok with the fact that the hotel was not a beachfront establishment, but hey, I need some exercise from time to time.

And of course, the beach was.. great!!! Nothing feels better than the powdery sand beneath your toes and hearing the sound of the waves. Sigh. Now I don't feel like going back to work next week. Haha! So there, we did the usual Boracay activities - parao sailing, snorkelling, island hopping, hair braids, lounging at Hey Jude, pictures by the sand castles, and the ultimate waste of 230 pesos (in other words, banana boat ride).

This summer vacay was the first time after many years that we went out as a family. So I'm glad we all got to spend bonding time together (LDR has its pros, you know :P) Plus, we have imports from Germany and it wouldn't have been as fun without them.

But now, I'm back to reality. I'm back to emails, studying specs, implementing stuff, etc. Exciting! :D As early as now, we're already planning for the next vacay.. Palawan!!! And I do hope boyfriend will be around this time. There's nothing like de-stressing by the beach and forgetting the real world back in the city. I've never been to Palawan before.. and I would very much like to go there soon. So.. if someone's willing to pay for my airfare and accommodations, you can contact me at... hahaha!

Twilight

2008-06-12T19:33:00.014+08:00

waaaaaaah!!!! :D I just couldn't contain all the excitement inside me and I have to let the world know that there's a new movie coming out by end of this year (for US) and beginning of next year (local cinemas)..

I looooove it!!! It's adapted from the book with the same title by Stephenie Meyer, which came out a few years ago. I've been reading it for the past few days to keep my mind off serious stuff (see previous blogs. haha) and it's been a challenge to put the book down so I can get some sleep. To describe it in two words: absolutely addictive. This is lifted from the synopsis printed at the back of the book:

About three things I was absolutely positive.
First, Edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood.
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

Teeny-bopper sounding, right? But it's a real pageturner and it's an understatement to say that I can't get enough of Edward. I've been googling images of the cast (mostly of Edward. haha) and bits of info about the movie, and the excitement just continues to build up. See more details at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1099212/ Official movie trailer is also uploaded already at Youtube =))

Personally, I think it would've been better if Chace Crawford (Nate from Gossip Girl) played Edward's character. His eyes are etched in my mind. Now my knees are turning jelly. Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous. Now if only all men looked like that.. Sigh. haha! But then, Robert Pattinson (Cedric Diggory from HP) is not really a bad choice either. See for yourself.

Ok.. I have to admit I'm a bit too old to be still interested in these kind of things (and blogging about it! :P). But, as my 13-year-old cousin has pointed out (who by the way introduced the book to me. yes, I'm reading a book referred to me by my 13-year-old cousin), I'm not that old to not appreciate it. haha! At least she knows her euphimisms. The 11-year difference isn't counted as too old for her. I love you Kesh.

So, 7 more months to go before show time and I already made boyfriend promise we'll be watching the movie since I'm expecting him to be back at that time. Coolness!!!! :D